Step of Faith: Ukraine Adoption

Summer Blues

2010-07-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

What a wild and full summer it has been! We started by going to the Isotopes Baseball game in which Ella got to throw out the first pitch because of winning an art contest and having her picture selected for the annual Isotopes calendar. About 100 people from church and school joined us and it was a great evening culminating in a fantastic fireworks show. Wow!

A week later, Mark and I and the three girls flew to Washington D.C. to attend National History Day at the University of Maryland. Thirteen of my students competed at the National Level this year, and one of my students took 2nd place in the nation for Individual Performance. I'm the proud teacher!

While in the D.C. area we did a lot of sightseeing and also had the opportunity to travel to Annapolis and to Philadelphia. So much U.S. history! I think we stuffed as much of it as we could into Zhanna and Ella's heads. I know they don't understand everything, but hopefully they will remember that we've been there and it will make more sense to them when they study it in school.

After a week in Maryland we rented a car and drove to Indianapolis to visit relatives there for a few days. We had a great time with my stepmom and her husband and my brother and his family. The girls met new cousins and other family members. We then went to Cinncinati for a day and a half, and were able to visit the Creation Museum and go to King's Island Amusement Park. We all love roller coasters and it was fun. After that we drove to Lexington, Ky. to stay with Mark's brother. Mark's parents had already arrived there after driving with Nathan, and Mark's other brothers and families came, too for a family reunion and celebration of Mom and Dad's 60th anniversary. The gathering was fun and special! Zhanna and Ella loved the time there and had fun with more cousins. They weren't able to verbalize much about it, other than to say they really had fun, but that was enough. I think they are still just trying to take it all in, but I think they are amazed by how large the extended family is. The idea of even having a nuclear family is so new to them, that extended family must seem like a real mystery.

We left Lexington after several days and spent the next night in St. Louis. We were able to go up in the Gateway to the West Arch and experience more history there. Finally we spent two nights in Oklahoma City with my sister and family (and time with additional cousins!), and then got back home on June 1. What a delightfully blessed vacation! We are so thankful we were able to take this road trip with the girls this year. We all experienced so much of America and the togetherness was great (and very real, as it is with most families!).

In thinking about all this travel I came across a quote from Mark Twain that goes like this, " Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." I believe this to be true, and want to give as many travel experiences as I can to my children. I think it helps them to grow in ways that merely reading about a place or seeing it on TV could never do.

Zhanna and Ella, especially, need experiences like travel in order to broaden their horizons. I think they grew from the trip and they did express that they were glad to be home. That made us feel good and helped us to know that they, indeed, think of it as their home and a place they belong.

While things are progressing well in so many ways with the girls, some things are getting more difficult. For one thing, they both are chin-deep into teenage attitude now. Zhanna, being the older of the two, seemed to exhibit it all last year. Ella just turned 13 on July 4, after we arrived back home. Her attitude has been brewing for some time, but 13 seems to be the "magic age" when it kicks in full force. Mark and I have raised teenagers before and have worked with teenagers practically our whole lives, but I don't think we were prepared for the force in which the girls have entered their teens and are assuming all the attributes of the "typical American teenage girl."

For instance, we had heard from another family who adopted kids from Ukraine that their kids seemed extremely grateful. Zhanna and Ella don't seem to understand how to show or express real gratitude. They are learning, because we stress the issue, but it does not come naturally. Instead, they seem to take for granted everything we buy for them or do for them and hint often that they want something different or better or more. That is a hard thing for us to deal with because we had worked hard with our older two children to be grateful and satisfied with what they were given. By the time they were teens they knew full well they better not complain, and to express thankfulness for any gift or act of service they were given.

Also, Zhanna and Ella have become fully enamored with technology and media. They love the computer and Facebook, and saved up their birthday money to buy Ipods, which they are consumed with at the moment. They are also extremely aware of fashion and hair and makeup. They seem to struggle a lot with concern about their looks and worry about what people think of them. Zhanna, especially, seems to struggle with insecurity, but masks it with obsession about her appearance. She sometimes comes across to others as "stuck up," but inside she just feels incredibly shy and unsure of herself. Ella deals with her own insecurities by withdrawing. She closes in and holds a lot of her feelings deep inside. She seems to need more sleep than Zhanna and seems to take longer to formulate feelings, but once they are formed they go deep. She hasn't figured out how to talk about her feelings or express much at all. In the mornings it's impossible to even get her to talk, let alone smile or be concerned about someone else.

Whew! This is hard! Harder than I think we anticipated, but we must admit, it is real. We have to constantly stop and try to analyze where the girls have come from and what they've been through and how they've learned to deal with life. We realize our expectations for them are unlike anything anyone has expected from them in their 13 and 14 years of life. We certainly can't expect changes to occur overnight, when this is all so new to them. In addition, we have the cultural differences and the input of American materialism and then the normal teenage hormonal craziness. It all adds up to the potential for a lot of frustration and weariness.

But then there is prayer. God is so good. He will see us through this and on to the other side. Our goal for the girls is what we assume is God's goal for us: to grow (physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually), and learn to appreciate, and to think about others, and to be at peace with ourselves.

So, when the girls think their parents are now totally "uncool," and won't hardly talk to us, (as they did this past weeked when we took them to church camp and went to visit them another evening, we pretty much have learned to take it in stride. (We want to tell them: "Remember us? The people who spent an anxious year of our lives being turned inside out and upside down with paperwork to be able to adopt you? Remember us? The ones who made two trips to Ukraine and put our lives on hold for weeks to come and get you and make you our own children? Remember us? The people who spent thousands of dollars for you and haven't blinked an eye? Remember? All the other people who have given money and time and other things for you? Remember?) We sometimes maybe feel like shaking them a bit in order for them to see more clearly. We don't do that however. We try with all our might to be patient with them, as our Heavenly Father is patient with us. We love these two girls as best we can, and try to provide everything they need, to the best of our ability. We long for them to love us and to love God and to love others. We must keep firmly and gently showing them a more excellent way. We pray that God will grow them and show them and use them for His glory.

In the meantime, it's a wild ride and we are hanging on. But we are committed and determined. May God keep growing us and showing us and using us for His glory.

Reflection from a Mom

2010-05-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day. A good day to reflect on the current state of my family. This is my first Mother's Day as the mom of 4 kids. Two years ago on Mother's Day we attended Annie's graduation from high school. I remember clearly, thinking to myself, "Well, this is it. My big job as a mom is over. Now Mark and I face the empty nest." God laughed! Little did I know that a mere 2 months later I would meet my 2 additional children!

Then last year, we spent Mother's Day in Abilene, Texas, having just attended Nathan's graduation from college. After going to church that Sunday morning we had to say our good-byes to Nathan, knowing we were flying to Kiev less than a week later. We had spent a year of intense preparation and paperwork. Our hearts were full of excitement and anticipation, and the nervousness of facing the unknown. We looked forward to bringing home our sweet, sensitive, quiet, well-behaved girls and looking ahead at years of helping them adjust and learn English. Again, God laughed.

This year, Mother's Day was the best ever. Annie and Nathan arrived home on Saturday night, along with Mark, who had driven to Lubbock early that morning to help Annie load all her stuff, and then driven back with the kids that afternoon. When they arrived home, Zhanna and Ella and I all ran out to greet them. We had been cleaning house all day and the girls were feeling the excitement and anticipation of the family all being home together. Going to bed that night was joyful for me, knowing all my "chicks" were in the nest.

Yesterday we went to church in the morning and had Mark's parents over to our house for lunch, but they brought the Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was just a sweet simple time of togetherness and I kept looking around the table and pondering at the magnitude of God who brought us all together as family. Last night, before bed, the kids and Mark and I sat around the couch in the living room and talked and laughed and sang songs and poked fun at each other and giggled and prayed. Zhanna and Ella took part in it all, as if they had always been a part of the family. What a sweet Mother's Day memory!

Our girls are growing so much. They are definitely not the shy, quiet, reluctant children who entered our home last summer. They are good students and speak English very well now. They are bold, silly, giggly, sometimes loud, sometimes crabby, full of fun, typical teenagers now. Other than their accents, you would never know they were not American kids. They like hamburgers and pizza and movies and game rooms and clothes and makeup and video games and computers and electronics and hanging out with their friends. They were on the basketball team at school this year and "had a ball" with that. They joined the new choir at school and Zhanna sang a solo at the concert. They were both in the school musical and did a great job.

They have changed our home. The nest is full. Very full! Actually, Annie just made the decision to move back home and attend the local university, rather than go back to Texas in the fall. She wants to be closer to us and the girls. So, all of her belongings must find a spot to rest, once again. This is challenging, because when we moved everything out of Nathan's room to paint and remodel for the girls, I moved some things like wrapping paper, etc., that I had stored in his closet, to Annie's closet. Now that she's home, whew! I don't know where this kind of stuff can go. But we'll get creative, and it will all work. In the whole scheme of life, a shortage of storage space is not a big problem. Having a house full of the energy of family is well worth it!

Now, we do have our challenges in the "stuff" department, however. Namely, the ever swirling, ever seething sea of things that is part of family life. Especially because the girls have never had a lot to keep up with before, and now they don't always understand the need to pick up after oneself continually and keep up with one's own stuff. They also don't really understand the concept of throwing away and down-sizing one's belongings. At this point they want to keep everything, even the little junky "kid" stuff that accumulates so quickly. I must confess, I sometimes throw stuff away when I find it lying around. But then there are the inevitable questions, "Where's my ________??" At that point I can honestly answer, "I don't know!" The most annoying items for me to find lying around all over the house are hair ties, bobby pins, pens, pencils, notes from friends, jewelry, shoes, and food wrappers. It requires constant vigilence and reminders to "pick up your _________ and put (throw) it away." But as I watch other families and other kids, I am reminded that this is not unique to our kids. This is a common kid condition. I had just gotten out of practice of dealing with it since our older two had either been gone for several years, or had learned to keep their stuff in their own room a bit more consistently. Zhanna and Ella will learn, too.

My energy level is lower with these two kids, now that I'm older. But I think my patience and wisdom levels are higher, praise be to God. I guess that all balances out. The girls seem happy and settled and content and "at home." A good friend of ours, who teaches the girls' Sunday School class asked them yesterday, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about your family and your church family, after being here almost a year?" Our friend told us Zhanna and Ella both responded, enthusiastically, "10!" That helps us to know that all is well and the girls are comfortable and feeling that they belong.

One more sweet Mother's Day memory: Yesterday evening, walking to church. All 4 of my children walking along with me. Zhanna and Nathan have linked arms and Ella and Annie have linked arms. They are laughing and enjoying being family. God is with them. We are happy. God is good. There is peace. We praise God for His miracles.

Year of Miracles, Year of Change

2010-01-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

It is January 1, 2010. Hard to believe! 10 years ago we were all anticipating the grand celebrations of the new millennium and apprehensively wondering about the possible affects of the "Y2K bug." We had no earthly idea that halfway around the world, in Ukraine, there lived 2 little girls, ages 2 and 3 at the time, who were destined to be removed from their birth parents at ages 8 and 9, and eventually weave their way into our hearts and home. If God had told us then what was to come we probably wouldn't have believed, and, chances are, we would have done all in our power to prevent what we would have perceived at the time as only hardship and challenge.

But God is SO wise! He knows he can't reveal too much to His children before He chooses to grow them and gift them. God does His best work unpredictably. It's as if it all happens so fast it makes your head spin, and as you are still reeling from the aftereffects, you realize you have just gone through one of the most difficult things you've ever experienced ~ but, you've been blessed beyond measure.

So it has been with us and adopting our two girls from Ukraine. Wow, what challenges there were and continue to be! But the realization of blessing comes tiptoeing quietly, when we least expect it. Days are hard sometimes, but life is good.

Adopting is not for sissies, don't misunderstand. Especially adopting TWO preteen girls from a foreign culture and speaking a different language. (What were we thinking? Oh, yeah, right, it wasn't our plan, but God's plan! My head is spinning!) But adoption grows and changes you and brings love to you that is undescribable.

Christmas this year was an example of what I'm talking about. We've been home with the girls now 6 months. They seem to feel fully at home and part of the family. But there are continual new experiences. Decorating the house and Christmas year, for instance. Normally that job takes me about a week - working about 2 hours every evening. Not anymore! Now there are Santa's elves living in my home! They were so excited about the decorations and oohed and aahed and exclaimed over all of our 20-year-old stuff! They managed to flit here and there and everywhere and got the tree and the whole house decorated in two evenings! Then, shopping and wrapping presents was even better. The girls delighted in trying to peak at their gifts under the tree, and we had to engage in covert operations to try to prevent that (such as stapling the tops of the giftbags shut!) On Christmas day both Zhanna and Ella seemed relaxed and happy and grateful for presents and good food and family. We all felt blessed. Yet, within a couple of days after Christmas we had to deal, once again, with preteen attitudes and desires. That's where we grow, however. We want the girls to understand that we don't want to bless them just on Christmas day, but every day of the year, as we teach them what family is all about and what God wants for their lives. That's the real gift.

The honeymoon period is over between us and the girls. That is good, even though it is harder. But it is real. We deal with everything now with either firm kindness, or kind firmness, whichever seems appropriate for the situation! We now realize you can take the child away from their country, but you can't take their country away from the child. They don't become Americans overnight. They still need the connection to where they've come from. They need to talk about their culture, and need to keep in contact with friends and people they know. They need to continue to speak their original language. They need to feel that their birth country is very special and appreciated. They need to be reassured that their feelings are always acceptable, but sometimes their actions are not. They need to know that we will always be their family, no matter what may come, but that there are expectations for them involved in that.

Sometimes those expectations are hard for them to understand - no one ever has real, long-term expections for orphans. They don't always understand why we have to think ahead, while also remembering the past. They don't understand why we continually work on our behaviour toward other people. They don't understand how to prepare for the future. These are new concepts for our girls. They have never had to watch the clock and think about time. They have never had experience with money and how to use it wisely. They've never learned how to lovingly obedient and cheerfully helpful. Up to this point their days were consistently routine and dull, so overstimulation is overwhelming. But they also have no idea how to monitor their own physical needs or make good choices for eating and sleeping. Instead, they want to eat what ever tastes good to them and then ONLY eat that (ramen noodles for nearly every meal for almost 2 months), and they never want to go to bed at a decent time, but they never want to get up on time, either. Our job, as parents, is to teach them balance, and discretion, and control and sometimes, to protect them from themselves and the learned behaviors and attitudes that have come with them. We must teach them and show them a more excellent way. We prayerfully want that to be God's way.

So, we look back to 2009 - a year of miracles and a year of change. Beautiful and blessed year. Now we look ahead to 2010. Challenges are ahead, we have no doubt. But so are blessings. God is good and He will lead us and our children every step of the way.

Love,
Dawn and Mark

Four Months

2009-10-24T10:07:00.001-07:00

The four month anniversary of our homecoming with the girls was yesterday. It is so hard to believe that they've been with us a third of the year already. But in that span of time so many changes have occurred and so much has happened. We look at pictures of them right after we got home and they look so different now. Their language skills have changed so much. Their thinking is evolving. It is a blessing to step back and take stock of it all.

One dramatic change is how much they've grown physically. In four months, Ella has gained 8 pounds and grown 3 inches. Zhanna has gained 5 pounds and grown 2 inches. They are both outgrowing the clothes we bought for them over the summer and the school clothes we purchased just 3 months ago. I just had to order new school uniform clothes online to get bigger sizes because you can't find a good selection in the stores right now. We're in the process of shopping, little by little, for warm clothes for fall and winter in larger sizes than they wore in the summer. The girls are growing because they are eating a lot. They now love hamburgers and would eat them everyday if we'd let them. But they are venturing out in tastes of other foods, too. They are more willing to try new foods and are eating things they wouldn't even touch when they first arrived. They both like lettuce salad with ranch dressing and are trying other new vegetables, as well. They are more willing to try casseroles now and other new combinations of foods. Keeping them fed and clothed has been a financial challenge, no doubt! But God continues to supply all our needs.

Another dramatic change is happening in the acquisition of English language skills. When school first started we couldn't imagine how they would make it without a Russian/English tutor to help them with all the comprehension issues in the schoolwork for the entire year. We had a tutor for the first week, and then didn't feel we needed her any longer. The girls become more proficient readers and learners daily! They both have strong drive and determination to excel to the best of their ability. Yes, they get tired of school and the demands, but they are willing to keep working hard to do their best. We received their first report cards this last week and they both received all A's and B's with only slight modifications from what the other children are doing. They continue to have personal instruction in language and math from our school administrators, but other than that they have been expected to keep up with the regular curriculum. It has been challenging, for them and for us, but we're proud of them for working so hard.

Change is also happening emotionally. They seem to have fully bonded with us and are relaxed in interaction with Mark and me as their parents. They sit on Mark's lap and hug him, even though they still tease him a lot. But I think that's just how they cope with the entrance of a man into a personal relationship in their lives at ages 12 and 13. At the ages when they are beginning to notice boys and become aware of their own bodies, it is just too weird to express "lovey-dovey" emotions to their dad. They compensate by being goofy and silly and even critical in a teasing way, while at the same time, longing for the hugs and the attention and affection he gives them. I think they are beginning to appreciate the role of a dad and understand the value of a father in their lives.

They still love on me and hug and kiss me to death, but they also know that mom will "lay down the law," if necessary, and they respect that. We engage in power and control struggles sometimes, when I've asked them to do something and they delay, or try to talk me (whine, whine) out of it. I have to remember to stand firm, because that is what they really want and need, but it's often difficult. They want boundaries, but also want to test the boundaries to see if they are firm or if they can be moved. That's typical for kids these ages, but even more so when we are just establishing this relationship as a family. They must understand that we are, indeed, the parents, and we love them and will take good care of them, and we have their best interest in mind. They have to be able to trust us, even as they struggle for adolescent control. In all of this, Mark and I have resolved to try our best to be pro-active, rather than reactive. That means we have to tread gently and pick our battles carefully. We have to show abundant love, even as we direct and discipline. God gives us wisdom in this and helps us to cope on days when something doesn't go well. But we are seeing much growth in the girls' responses to difficulties, and in interaction with us and other people, and in new situations.

Another huge area of growth is spiritually. To watch the girls' spiritual understanding unfold like beautiful blossoms is truly a miraculous thing. Our family has always enjoyed listening to Christian music. Last spring, before we went to Ukraine, Mark and I decided we would step out in faith and send monthly support to K-Love, a national Christian radio station. We listen to that station in the car and at home almost all the time. A few weeks after we had been home we noticed the girls were in the backseat of the car singing the words to the songs, whenever we drove somewhere. Now they know almost all the words to most of the songs that are played on K-Love. Not only have the songs blessed them spiritually, but they've also helped in acquiring language skills. Zhanna and Ella's current favorite song is "City on Our Knees" by Toby Mac. In addition to music, the girls are reading their Bibles in Russian and in English. They remember so many Bible stories, and are able to articulate the meanings of harder concepts in the stories. They love going to church and seeing all the people, even if they don't always understand everything about the sermons or the lessons. I think love speaks louder than words, and that is what they see and feel. The people at church have been so welcoming and loving to the girls and Zhanna and Ella feel accepted and at peace in the family there. The most beautiful evidence of their spiritual growth is their prayers. We pray before meals, but it is at night, before we all go to bed, when their hearts are revealed in prayer. We usually each take turns praying and both Zhanna and Ella will say "Thank you for my church, thank you for my school, and thank you for my family," almost every night. Then they will thoughtfully pray for people and situations we know. They demonstrate a real trust and reliance on God. It is such a blessing to hear God at work in their hearts.

Changes are occurring and we're making memories together. We took them to the State Fair (twice) in September. We went to the Balloon Fiesta at the beginning of October. Two weeks ago we took our first family road trip as we traveled to Lubbock to see Annie perform in "Thoroughly Modern Millie," a musical done by her University. Zhanna and Ella loved seeing their big sister on stage (Annie did an amazing job, by the way!), and they spent one night with her in her dorm room. They also got to see their brother, Nathan. He drove up from Abilene to see Annie and be with all of us. Then last weekend, Nathan and Annie both came home for a few days. Annie was on fall break and Nathan came home to run in a half-marathon (he did quite well!). It was good to be connected as family for two weekends in a row. We are now looking forward to Thanksgiving, when we'll all be together again, in addition to spending time with my sisters and their families. Zhanna and Ella will get to meet aunts and uncles and cousins!

So, life is busy, full, and ever changing. We are family, but are continually waiting to discover what that means! If you have your children from birth you understand their temperaments and can somewhat anticipate their reactions by the time they are 12 or 13 years old. But we are discovering new information about our girls everyday. For instance, we know now that Ella is our neat one. Zhanna is a bit (understatement) more scattered. When I ask the girls to clean their room, Ella gets right on it and is highly motivated to make a nice, clean and orderly environment in which to live. Zhanna will delay and procrastinate and try to finagle someone else to do the work for her, and then she'll do the job with only half as much effort and preciseness as Ella will. In doing schoolwork Zhanna will "get it" much more easily than Ella will, but Ella will work at it and work at it until she gets it. Ella will ask questions. Zhanna won't. Zhanna sometimes gets a little lazy, or maybe reasons "why should I put more effort into whatever I'm doing, when I can get it done acceptably in less time?" Ella doesn't really seem to care what other people think. She approaches life like a kid. Zhanna is very concerned about appearance and how others might view her and whether or not she "fits" in. She doesn't want to do anything that might draw attention to herself or make her look foolish. She holds back in meeting new people and in forming new relationships until she feels safe. Ella does that somewhat, too, as she follows Zhanna's lead, but she'll more readily make eye contact and talk with a new person than Zhanna will.

So, our job as new parents to these beautiful and complex young human beings that God has entrusted into our care is to understand and to love and direct and to guide. Not always an easy task. As a matter of fact, it is downright difficult some days. But we are encouraged by the changes and the growth and the wonder and the wisdom of God. He gives us strength. We rely on Him. We read somewhere recently that people should never choose to adopt because it is the "Christian thing to do." They should only choose to adopt because of love. We are finding this to be so true. God is love. We love Him because He first loved us. We love our children (both natural born and adopted) because He entrusted them to us. We love others because they were made in God's image. God is a God of love and of change. He will see us through.

"Dear friends, we should love each other, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has become God's child. And so everyone who loves knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love to us: He sent his only Son into the world to give us life through him." I John 4:7-9

May you know God's love as He takes you through the changes of life.
In Christ,
Dawn and Mark

Piercings and Patience

2009-09-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night we had Open House at school. We got home late and still needed to help the girls study for a big history test they were to have the next day. We told them to go take their showers quickly so we could study. They were in the bathroom for a long time. We kept knocking on the door and asking them to hurry. They said, "Okay, okay, we almost done." When they finally came out they proudly came and pointed to their ears and said, "Lookee! We poke our ears!" They had both given themselves additional earring holes (high on the cartilage) using perfume as an antiseptic and an earring as a piercing tool. I-YEEE! It was almost 10:00 and we hadn't studied for the test.

Mark and I both just looked at each other and we knew we didn't want to go to battle at that moment. It was late and we were tired. We scolded them for not telling us what they were doing, and for doing something they shouldn't have been doing instead of hurrying to get ready as we had asked. We just told them "NO MORE HOLES! Don't ever do that again!" They assured us they didn't want anymore and they would never do it again. We explained about infections and keeping their ears clean, etc., etc., etc. They seemed to understand, so we left it at that, and went on to studying for the test.

The drama occurred the next day at school. Apparently some of the girls in the 5th grade noticed Zhanna and Ella's new earrings and took great interest in how and when it was done. Zhanna and Ella told the other girls that they did it themselves, and explained the process. They told the girls that girls at the orphanage did it all the time. One of the girls in the group was mesmerized by that idea. When the class went to the park at recess this girl came to Zhanna and insistently asked her if Zhanna would pierce her ears for her. At first Zhanna refused. However, after much persuasion and assurance that it would be okay and no one would get in trouble, Zhanna complied with the request. After the deed was done the pierced girl (B) convinced another friend to allow her to pierce her ears, as well. B had become more brazen and confident about the process by this time, and insisted that another friend have her ears pierced, as well, to the point of holding her down, sitting on her arms and covering her mouth, all the while trying to poke the earring into her earlobe. It didn't succeed, but the attempt was made. All these girls went back to class after recess as if nothing had happened.

After school, I asked the girls how their day had gone. They proceeded to tell me the whole sordid story, as if it were the most normal occurrence in the world. I asked and then asked again, "You did what? To who? How?!" Then I said, "Girls! You can't do things like that here like you did at the orphanage! These girls have mothers! Their mothers will be mad!" I told them I had to talk to their teacher and to the principal about what had happened. By the look on the girls' faces I could tell that they had no idea that there would be anything wrong with what had been done. They looked frightened and surprised.

I went and shared the tale. Their teacher had gotten wind of some "girl stuff" going on, but had no idea about what had happened. The principal was supportive of me, but suggested I call the other mothers and let them know what had happened. (At this point I only knew of Zhanna's part and was feeling incredibly responsible and guilty). It was a difficult task to call the other moms. I prayed first and tried to be as patient and gentle as I could. I apologized and explained that I felt my girls are good girls and didn't mean to do anything wrong. They had seen and done things like this at the orphanage many times and didn't understand that it was not the wisest thing thing to do. I explained that they are still learning about the difference between the culture of a family, vs. the culture of an orphanage. B's mother didn't react too well. I knew we were not done with the matter.

Sure enough, on Monday, B's mom met me in the hallway as I was going to my classroom. I asked how they were doing and apologized again. I again tried to explain that the girls were just learning and I appreciated how the other girls had been trying to be such good friends. The mother was cool toward me and told me icily, "Well, that friendship can no longer continue. My daughter is too easily influenced." What can you say to that? I said, "Okay. I'm sorry," and walked away.

Later in the morning the principal and assistant principal met with all the girls in the 5th grade. They shared what they knew and lectured on sanitary practices and making good choices. Then they asked the girls to share what they knew about the situation or had seen. Everything came out. It became evident that Zhanna was talked into the original piercing and that B had been manipulative and had bullied the other girls into complying to her desire that everyone have holes in their ears! The decision was made that the four girls most involved would spend lunch detention in the Principal's office for one week, writing out letters to their parents and paragraphs about making wise choices. In addition, B would have a week of in-house suspension (meaning she stays in the Principal's office not only at lunch, but all day long, and does all her schoolwork there, rather than in the regular classroom).

The result of all these choices gave Mark and me some leverage to sit down with the girls at home as well, and have a family meeting about everything that had occurred. We began with a prayer, and then talked to the girls about the influence they are having on the other girls and the responsibility that comes with that. We asked them what they had learned from all of this. They were able to tell us quite clearly what they had learned, especially Ella. She said, "I glad I no do this poke somebody's ears!" We were able to talk to them about choices always leading to consequences. Then we said that we were going to ask them to do something that they probably wouldn't like. We said we were going to ask them to remove the earrings they had poked themselves the night before all this drama happened. We wanted them to let those holes close up. We assured them that it wasn't the earrings that we were against, but the fact that they had done that without asking and that all these consequences had come from that choice. They were never to pierce their own ears again, but in a year or two, if they still wanted their ears pierced and we talked about it as a family and thought it was a good idea, then we would take them to a place where it would be sanitary and clean.

Ella complied with our request readily. She was a bit quiet and sad, but did what we asked. Zhanna, on the other hand, was mad, and sulked. She stomped into her room and took out the earring and then got in her bed as if she was refusing to come out and talk anymore. We had to remind her that she was making choices again, and consequences would come from those choices, too, if she didn't decide to come back out and finish our conversation. She finally and reluctantly agreed, and we were able to finish with another prayer. She sulked through dinner, but then seemed to feel better and the rest of the evening went well. At bedtime she even made a little comment about, "Mom, no earring!" I reminded her that maybe in a year or two she could get them pierced again if she still wanted to. "A year!" she said. But that was all. Thankfully, that was that.

So, Zhanna has lunch detention this week. Both girls have healing holes in their ears, and we have survived a minor calamity. But God is good, and has seen us through. God gives us everything we continue to need. That's how we know this journey is all from Him. And on a last side note: that history test we had to study for after the girls pierced their ears at home? Zhanna got a 92 and Ella got the only 100 in the class! It was a 5 page test! We are so proud of both of our little "Holey" or "Holy" girls.

God is good! He loves us all the time, and we love Him.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

Getting on a Routine. . . With Guinea Pigs!

2009-08-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

Finally . . . after 2 months in America, we are finally beginning to get into a regular routine. Going to school helps a lot. The girls must get up at 6:00am (they are not morning people, so this time is a little painful). They must be in bed with lights out no later than 10:00 (this is also hard because they are bouncing every evening and finding every excuse possible to get out of bed and delay the process - much like preschoolers). But, thankfully, it's happening!!

The girls showed noticeable improvement in attitude and helpfulness this past week, as well as strong determination to do well in their schoolwork. So, they earned a very big reward. They had been asking us all summer if they could get a guinea pig. We told them we would wait and see how things went, and see if they earned the privilege of having this kind of pet. Well, after the demonstration of great attitude, work ethic and helpfulness, the time was right this weekend. On Saturday we bought 2 guinea pigs, a large cage, bedding, a guinea pig house, food, water bottle, and food dish. That all set us back a pretty penny, but the response and reaction of the girls has been priceless.

Zhanna named her guinea pig "Poopsik." That means something like "baby" in Russian. Ella named hers "Bob." Just plain, old "Bob." They love their babies, and worry and fuss over them. They enjoy nothing better than to watch a movie in the living room and hold their babies all wrapped up on their laps. Ella frets over Bob because she says he sneezes and acts sick (we have never heard him sneeze). She asked her dad if guinea pigs get headaches. She doesn't want her baby to suffer in any way. They are both very loving and attentive "mommies." They love animals, anyway, and to have the responsibility for the total care and feeding of their own pet is a good lesson in empathy. They are developing a gentleness through caring for these guinea pigs. We're enjoying watching their loving natures come forth.

School continues to go well. It is quite challenging, but the girls are "hanging tough" and rising to all that is expected of them. There is a lot to do, but they seem determined to do their best and to make good grades. Last week they were to have a health test on Thursday. I studied with them until about 9:30 on Wednesday night, when Ella hit the wall. She put her head down on her arms and wouldn't even talk to us. We told her to go on to bed. She went into the bedroom, got in her bed with her clothes on and covered her head with the blankets. She wouldn't budge or even respond to us. Zhanna got her pajamas on and went to bed, as well. We tried to reassure them that they were working hard, and not to worry. Just do their best. Their teacher and everyone else would understand. We kissed them both goodnight, and turned out the lights.

After about 10 minutes Mark and I noticed the light was on again in their bedroom. We went in to find the girls quizzing each other on the health test material. Bless their hearts! The material was challenging for them - all about the circulatory sytem. Words like "plasma", "capillaries", "varicose veins", "ventical", "atrium", "aorta", etc., etc. In addition, they had to label the parts of the heart, and be able to match the description of the parts of the heart with its function. It would be a challenging test if you had known English your entire life, but to have to learn how to say many new and extremely difficult words, as well as understanding their meanings is like an extreme sport or competition. But both girls persevered.

Mark and I worked with them about another hour. They finally felt satisfied and were able to sleep. They next morning they woke up early and got ready and wanted us to quiz them again. They took the test at school that day and both got an "A." We were so proud of them!

Yes, we are all working hard through the week, but thankfully, the weekends have been restful. We were able to sleep in on Saturday and rest on Sunday. The girls actually spent the afternoon with some of the young people from church, eating pizza, and playing "guitar hero" on the Wii. They had a good time, and Mark and I got a little break. It was good for all of us.

God is so good, and we are well aware that He is at work in the hearts and minds of our beautiful daughters. He is at work in our hearts and minds, too. We are learning and stretching and growing. We praise Him for all things . . . especially sleep!

God's blessings,
Dawn and Mark

We Survived the First Week of School!

2009-08-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 2 month anniversary of our homecoming. It's hard to believe so much has happened in the last two months. Zhanna and Ella have learned so much English in that time frame. They now understand nearly everything that people are saying. It is a little harder for them to always find the English words to describe things to other people, but they are growing more confident in that, as well. It is exciting to witness their progress!

We all started school last Monday. The girls were very nervous about it. Zhanna was extremely nervous about how the other kids would view her. She understands full well that she is quite a bit older than all the other kids in the 5th grade. She worries so much about what people think about her. It doesn't seem to matter so much to Ella. She's just a kid at heart, and she doesn't really care what other people think.

But Monday came, and we all jumped in. The first few days were very difficult for all of us. The girls were exhausted by the end of the day. I'm sure the mental and emotional effort they expended was incredible. It takes tremendous amounts of energy to listen carefully to everything in a foreign language and then try to absorb much new information, while at the same time, meeting many new people and tryig to remember names, especially when you feel as if everyone is watching you! Whew! It makes me tired just thinking about it! They worked hard every day, and then we had about 2 hours of homework to do each night, even with a modified schedule for them. For them to do their homework, it requires someone to sit with them through it all and help them with all the comprehension in every subject, even math word problems. We also have to have them read aloud to us and work on multiplication flash cards every night. We also practice a Bible memory verse with them each night for an oral quiz they have on Friday. Needless to say, Mark and I are feeling as tired and overwhelmed as the girls are!

However, by the end of the week, things were getting better. Zhanna and Ella were learning that if they work faster we can get through it better and have more time for fun stuff. They were also relaxing more and understanding that everyone wants to help them, and no one is judging them. By the end of the week they both said, "We like school. It's good school. Better than at Internat (Orphanage). People are nice."

So, it's good. We're feeling like we are on the fastrack, but life is good. We tell the girls daily that we love them and we chose them to be our daughters because God put us together. We tell them that we are so happy they are ours, and that we will love them forever. We feel that our reassurances are beginning to sink in. The girls seem happy and comfortable with us. They seem to feel that they can trust us now.

In the adoption world there is a saying, "Adopting one child won't change the world, but for that child, the world will change." Zhanna and Ella's world has changed, and will continue to change as time goes on. Mark and I feel humbled to know that God put this responsibility into our hands. It is a challenging, but awesome idea to feel that we are the tools God is using to bring these girls to know Him and to enjoy life eternally in His kingdom. We see more and more each day that the girls' hearts are soft toward God and they are open to receive His word. We can't wait to see what God will do with them!

Until next time,
Blessings and Peace,
Dawn and Mark

Daddy Daycare, Food Choices, and Education

2009-08-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

I've added some pics from the summer of Zhanna and Ella and Nathan and Annie. It has been a fun one. We see Zhanna and Ella transforming before our eyes. They seem to be learning new things everyday. Each day brings new awakenings and greater understanding of this new world into which they have entered. They were asked yesterday if they missed Ukraine, and they said, "No." I think they are finally settling and feeling like this is home and they now have a forever family. The extreme emotional responses we had a few weeks ago have lessened. They seem more able to cope and to peacefully take each day as it comes.

We celebrated an anniversary this weekend. One year ago, on August 1, we left Camp Yestrebok in the Ukrainian area of Svetagorsk. We had to say good-bye to Zhanna and Ella with tears streaming down our faces. We made a promise to them that we would do everything we could to come back and adopt them. I'm not sure they believed it, and Mark and I wondered about what the future would hold. It felt as if we were stepping into a black hole of an unknown destination. But God is a big God, and a year later, here we are! A family! We all remembered and spent time praising God this weekend for what He has done to bring us together.

A huge breakthrough came this week between Mark and the girls. He determined that he just needed to spend one-on-one time with them alone, apart from me and Annie. On Friday the girls and Mark went to Babushka's house to make and decorate cupcakes. They had a blast, and came home with the fanciest cupcakes ever - decorated like flowers, and dogs, and bears, etc. Beautiful and delicious! On Saturday, Annie and I attended a wedding in the morning, so Mark stayed with the girls. When we arrived home, we found Dad and Zhanna and Ella sitting on the living room floor having a "Teddy Bear Tea Party". It was the sweetest thing! Mark had pulled out some of Annie's old doll accessories and toys that I had put away for sentimental reasons. The girls were amazed that we had so much! They kept saying, "Wow!" They loved the doll cradle and the big Fisher Price doll house, etc. They were playing as if they were little girls - about half their age. But they never had toys like this before. They are experiencing things they were never able to enjoy as little children. It is precious. They have also come to see Mark as a pretty good playmate, rather than an extra appendage in our home. They have turned the corner and are beginning to call him "Dad." Praise God for all these blessings.

There are many things the girls are catching up on. Sleep is one of those things. I'm sure the energy they are expending everyday to learn English and take in all the new experiences is exhausting. They want to sleep a lot in the mornings, and when we wake them up they have a hard time thinking in English. They seem to think in Russian in the morning, but adjust to English as the day wears on. They are slow to warm up in the mornings, but have a hard time settling down and going to sleep at night. At night we have to push to get them in the shower and to gather for prayers and Bible reading. Then they want me to read them a book, and sometimes they have many questions and want to talk. It is rare when we get to bed before 11:00. We'll have to work hard next week to have an earlier bedtime and earlier wake-up time so they'll be ready for school when it begins on August 17.

They have also been eating a lot! They seem to want a lot of protein. I'm sure their bodies need to catch up a lot. But some of their food choices make us cringe. They seem to adjust to one new food at a time, and then they want to eat that food over and over and over. For the past few days it has been hard boiled eggs. At first they wouldn't eat one, because it was cold. But then they decided they liked them, and now want them all the time. On Saturday, Zhanna had two hard-boiled eggs for breakfast, then four more for lunch, along with 4 hot dogs! She wanted to eat a raw onion with that! Blech! One day Ella ate 4 bananas at one time, after macaroni and cheese and watermelon. I keep thinking they will have stomachaches from the excesses of their food choices, but so far, so good. I guess they must need what they are craving. They are filling out a little, but they could stand to put on a little more weight. They are both thin. So, for now, whatever they want to eat is usually okay. We are trying to introduce them to more salad and vegetables. They love cucumbers and tomatoes, but are slow to warm up to lettuce and other food with texture and flavor that is unfamiliar to them. They won't eat any kind of cereal yet, although we have tried waffles, and they like those. Their tastes seem to run to simple "kid foods" right now. It's all a process.

We're preparing for the girls to attend Albuquerque Christian School where I teach. I'm so incredibly grateful to the school board and administration for their willingness to take this on. We have been a school focused on an advanced curriculum and a college prep focus - even though we only go through grade 8. We have never had an other ESL students attending the school. But because I work there, and because of the commitment to share Christ with those who don't know Him, the school has agreed the girls should attend ACS. I'm so excited and pleased. I had a hard time thinking about putting the girls in a public middle school, even with an ESL program. Throwing them into public school at ages 12 and 13, and having them exposed to all the attitudes and junk that is out there did not feel right at all to me or to Mark. They will both be in the 5th grade this first year, as they work on English and catch up in math and other areas. They will have a specialized program catered just to them. They will be with the middle school kids part of the time for devotionals, enrichment classes, etc., and will have individualized help in English and math. We're also looking for a Russian speaking person to serve as a translator a couple of hours a day to help with the harder comprehension issues needed in reading textbooks, etc. At the Christian School Zhanna and Ella will participate in a Bible class everyday, which they need more than anything. They will be surrounded by people who care about them and are kind to them and are demonstrating the love of God. They will hopefully make friends with kids who can show them that the latest and greatest toys and games and clothes and activities aren't nearly as important as the kind of person you are on the inside and how you treat others. They will hopefully see that God has created them to be a uniquely special person in His kingdom, and that they are valuable and loved. These ideas are all so foreign to the girls - as foreign as the new language. The Soviet mentality is all about obedience to the State, and that the individual is not important - the collective is what is important. They have been basically taught that they are not important. They have been taught to fear authority rather than to respond to loving direction and understand that obedience is done out of love, not out of fear. I'm excited to see how God will use all this in their lives and what changes are ahead for the girls.

Right now we're still working on getting them to feel comfortable enough around new people to be able to talk and not feel embarrassed or unsure of themselves. They have not learned the art of simple conversation around people they don't know well. The language issue is a part of that, but yesterday we were invited to a birthday party for the son of a friend of mine who is from Russia. There was also another woman there from Ukraine who spoke to the girls. They would hardly speak to either of the women, so that helped me to understand that it is not all about the language. It is simply a skill they have not been taught. We will have to keep working on it. I think they will begin to feel much more connected to people when they have a voice and can share.

Aren't we blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who cares so much about us that He created us to be creative individuals with a voice? He has given us equality and freedom! He has offered us love and grace. He is not the condemning rule-oriented god that so many think of Him as. He only longs for relationship with us. He wants us to come to Him with open arms and open hearts, knowing that we were created as unique individuals and He has equipped each one of us uniquely. I know when Zhanna and Ella come to understand that better they will have a greater sense of confidence and self-worth. I long to remember these ideas every day of my own life, too. But I often forget. When I remember that my worth is found in Jesus and because of Jesus, and not in anything I do, and that God made me who I am to freely live for Him, it takes a lot of pressure off of me. I don't worry so much about what others think. I'm free to live and breathe and create and laugh and serve, without all the baggage that comes with fear and insecurity. Praise God for freedom! I pray that Zhanna and Ella come to know freedom in Christ!

Thank you all for your continued prayers and encouragement in this faith journey. God is good and equips us everyday for what that day brings.
Much love,
Dawn and Mark

Emergency Room

2009-07-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

We've been home in America one month and we've made our first trip to the E.R. I hope we won't be making any more anytime soon.

Last night, after church, Zhanna and Ella got on their bicycles and began riding around the parking lot, as they have enjoyed doing for several weeks now. For not having much experience with bicycles before, they have become very daring in the past week or so. They are riding faster and faster and attempting tricks, such as "no hands," etc. On Saturday night, Zhanna had a fall and came in with skinned knees and elbows. We doctored her up and patched her adequately, and she was fine. But last night, Ella took a nose dive and landed squarely on her knees. Her left knee took the brunt of it and she received a deep gash directly over the joint. Mark and I both looked at it, after cleaning it up, and decided we'd better take her to the E.R. for stitches. Ella did not like that idea. "No! I no wanna! Mom, it's fine! In Ukrainia I have many. Kids have many!" We finally got her to consent by telling her that if we didn't take her to the doctor, Mark would have to carry her around until her knee healed. She said, "Okay, I go to doctor!"

We arrived in the emergency room at 9:00pm to find a large crowd of people with various ailments who were there before us. It was busy in the E.R. last night. It was midnight before we were called back to a room, and after x-rays and cleaning and numbing and poking and stitching, it was almost 3:00am when we arrived home. They put Ella in a knee immobilizer so the stitches won't pop out if she bends her knee. They also gave her crutches. She felt sufficiently doctored, and was exhausted and ready to sleep. Both girls went to bed immediately and slept until 1:30 this afternoon. Ella said she woke up in the night with pain and she cried and couldn't sleep. I told her I wish she had called for me or come to get me, but she's so used to taking care of herself, I'm sure she didn't even think about it. After they woke up and ate, they spent time rebandaging all their wounds. No bicycles for awhile! They decided watching a DVD would be a safer option today!

We had another form of emergency a week ago. It was not a physical emergency, but an emotional one. Last Monday we had had a good day as a family, but Nathan had left to go back to Texas that morning. We were all missing him. Maybe Ella picked up on that, and it brought back feelings of abandonment or loss. I don't know what set it off, but it was a difficult time. In the evening we watched a movie together, and when it was over I asked Ella to go take her shower and Zhanna to go clean their closet. Zhanna went right in to do as I asked, but Ella had a meltdown. She plopped down on the floor and shook her hair over her face and refused to budge. I tried to lightly say, "Come on, Ella, time to take your shower! Go and get it done, please!" No cooperation. Annie came in and gently picked her up by the arms and said, "Ella, come on, go take your shower!" Ella finally went to the bedroom and into the closet where Zhanna was cleaning. Pretty soon I heard them arguing in Russian. I went in and asked, "Girls! What's the matter? Tell me what's going on!" Zhanna said, "It's Ella." I looked at Ella and she had fire in her eyes! She was behind her hanging clothes and said, "It's Zhanna!" Then she shouted in Russian and yanked her hanging clothes off the rod and threw them to the ground. I went to her and held her by the arms and said, "No, Ella. This is not the way to deal with this. Tell me what you are feeling. Why are you doing this?" She said, "I no wanna talk to you!!!!" We had been this route before where both girls shut down and crawled inside of themselves to deal with their feelings. That happened once, and it turned out okay, but I knew I didn't want that behavior to become habitual. I held to her arms and said, "Ella, we need to talk about what you are feeling. I'm not going to let you act this way! Come sit on the bed and talk to me!" That brought out a raging animal within her that I had not seen before. She was flailing her arms and shouting, "NO!" Finally, I gave her one swap on the bottom and told her I wasn't going to let her act this way. She turned and looked at me like I had severely beaten her. She was mad! But she did go sit on her bed, although she went back into the hair over the face, arms crossed, leave me alone mode.

By that time Mark had come in. I talked to Ella and told her I was sorry I had spanked her, but I wanted to get her attention. I want her to know that she can talk to us and we will listen. I kept talking, but Ella began to angrily respond, "No, you not my mother. This not my family. I don't want live here. I don't like it here. I want go back to Ukrainia," etc., etc., etc. I know I began praying about that time, and Mark said he did, too. The Holy Spirit gave us the words to say to Ella. When she said she wanted to go back to her other family, I told her as gently as I could that her birth mom and dad had made some bad choices. Those choices were choices that caused Ella and Zhanna to have to live at the orphanage (Internat). I told Ella I was sorry that had happened to her and that her parents had made those choices. It would have been the best thing if her parents had loved them and cared for them and made choices to be good parents, but they didn't. But I told her we were her parents now and we loved her and we always would. We would never leave her or hurt her. Mark told her that we are her "real" family now. He told her that we love her and we will never send her back. We might go back for a visit, but we won't send her back to live, because this is her home and family now. We both told her that we didn't like how she was acting just then, but we would always love her, no matter what. Then Mark said, "So now, Ella, you have a choice. We want you to take your shower. If you do, everything will be fine. But if you don't, then you'll go to bed and tomorrow you will have a punishment because you've acted this way and you didn't obey your mom when she asked you to do something." We both told her we loved her once again, and then we left the room. Pretty soon, we heard her go into the bathroom and heard the shower running. Later she found me in the office working on the computer, and with tears streaming down her face, she said, "I'm sorry, Mom." I said, "I'm sorry, too, Ella." Then with wet hair and in her pajamas, she sat on my lap, and we both rocked back and forth and cried together for a long time. It was a breakthrough moment that only God could provide, I was sure of it. Thank you, Jesus, for hearing our prayers and working your way into a little child's grief-stricken and hardened heart until you found the soft spot.

We may have more such occasions. The girls continue to share more and more bits and pieces with us about their early upbringing, if you can call it that. It is horrendous and unimaginable that little children would have to experience as much as they had to experience. We will continue to tell them we will always love them and that they are our daughters and we will never leave them or hurt them. We won't send them back.

God does the same for us. Our broken hearts cry out much too often, "No! I want to go back to the way I was! I don't want your love, it requires too much of me!" But our Heavenly Father simply says, "Be still, my child. I love you enough to keep loving you - more and more and more and more. I will never leave you or forsake you. I love you enough to want you to grow, until you can rest in my love for you and see the goodness of it. I will love you until you know without a doubt that I am your real Father, and I have your best interest at heart. I am the only One who can take away your hurts and your pain. Trust me."

On a day to day basis, Mark and I are feeling pretty tired much of the time now. We are being stretched, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, in time and in energy. But we have chosen to trust God in this journey. We know, without a doubt, that He has a plan for Zhanna and Ella, and He has a plan for us. We will rely on Him.

May your days be free of emergencies, and may you grow in your relationship with your Father.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

New, New, New - All Things New!

2009-07-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

Three weeks! Things continue to get better. The girls know now that when I ask them to do something, I mean business. They may still try to put up a little fuss, but I simply say, "No whining, let's just get this done," and they comply. They are calling me Mom most of the time now. I love that! My heart thumps a little harder when they say the word.

With Mark the relationship building has been a little tougher. He has tried so hard to build a relationship through fun and teasing. They initially responded to that, but after a time they shut down to that approach. Mark is having to start over using a different approach. It's not easy for him. I think the girls simply are not used to having a man around as a caregiver and part of the family. They had all female caregivers, and most of their teachers and the orphanage staff were female. They aren't used to having a dad, especially not one who teases and jokes and wrestles with the kids, as Mark did with our older two. It requires a little more subtle and gentle approach, and Mark is trying to revamp his style to the best of his ability. He has decided to pull back and use different methods. So far, so good.

So many new experiences! We went to the zoo, and Zhanna and Ella loved the animals. We took the tram ride up to the top of the mountain, and hiked there. They enjoyed the forest, but I think we wore them out. We went to our Christian camp on Thursday night to see friends and teenagers who are there this week. At first it was intimidating to the girls to meet so many people who know of them, but by the end of the evening they said they liked camp very much. They said it was much different than camp in Ukraine. We went to a wedding last night. It was the first time the girls had ever been to a wedding. They loved it! They were fascinated by the beautiful bride (Sara) in her lovely, white gown, and watched the groom (Zach) intently as he danced with her. The girls really enjoyed the reception dinner and had fun dancing later, after a little coaxing. Then we couldn't get them to leave! It was a great experience for them.

We had special outdoor family pictures made last week, and got the proofs back by internet today. They enjoyed looking at themselves and the family and helping to decide which pose is the best of all of us. I think seeing those pictures has helped the girls to see themselves as real members of this family.

They are also growing in their knowledge of the Lord. We bought them Russian/English Bibles which arrived earlier this week. They wanted to go buy Bible covers right away. We also bought tabs for their Bibles, and they started to place those in their Bibles with Nathan and Annie's help, but finished all by themselves. They have been reading their Bibles enthusiastically on their own. Ella has been reading in the book of Mark about Jesus, and Zhanna has been reading from Exodus about Moses leading the people out of slavery. Good stuff!

Our family listens to Christian music on K-Love whenever we get into the car together. Zhanna and Ella have picked up on this right away, and now whenever we get ready to go someplace they say, "Dad, music, please!" They are learning the words to Christian songs and their favorites are "In the Hands of God" by the Newsboys, "God, You Reign" by Lincoln Brewster, and "Revelation Song (Holy, Holy, Holy)" by Philips, Craig and Dean. What a joy to hear them singing about Jesus in the backseat.

I think the song "In the Hands of God" has become our family's theme song in this entire endeavor. God has carried us for the past months of active pursuit of the girls, and the words of this song continue to carry us now as we place our girls in God's hands within our family.

"In the hands of God, we will fall.
Rest for the restless, and the weary, hope for the sinner.
In the hands of God, we stand tall.
Hands that are mighty to deliver, giving us freedom.
YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE AMAZING, YOU ARE!
AND WE PRAISE YOU, LORD, FOR WHAT YOUR HANDS HAVE DONE!
YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE AMAZING, YOU ARE!

We continue to be amazed by God and what He is doing in our lives.
Love to all,
Dawn and Mark

New Experiences

2009-07-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

Two weeks at home. Yes! We're all getting more settled and comfortable now. The girls each had a rough day or two last week, but things are getting better now. They are learning that there are boundaries to be observed and that money and things don't grow on trees to be given to them whenever they demand. But they also seem more settled, knowing that this is real life now, and we love them very much and will always provide for them.

Let me explain. Last week we began English lessons. Our friend, Mary, brought wonderful books and activities for the girls to work on. Mary is out of town now for two weeks, so we are to be working on English homework everyday. The day after Mary left the homework, the girls got up in the morning, got dressed, had breakfast and made their beds. I then told them, "Okay, girls, now we're going to have our English lesson before you go out to play and ride your bikes." Ella turned on me with an angry face and shouted, "No!" Zhanna was also upset, but I tried to be calm as I explained to both of them that, yes, we needed to do our English lesson everyday, that it wouldn't take long, and then they could play. I coaxed them both to sit down with me and we began. Zhanna did fine, but Ella continued to have a sulky, bad attitude. I tried to correct her and give her 2 or 3 warnings. Finally, I couldn't go on. I told her, "Okay, Ella, if you aren't going to have a good attitude, then you may go back to your room." She walked back to their room and closed the door. I finished the lesson with Zhanna, and then went to check on Ella. I tried to talk with her and reason with her, but she wouldn't look at me or talk to me. So, once again, I told her, "It's your choice, Ella. You can be miserable and stay in your room, or you can come out, do your lesson, be done with it, and then go and play." She wouldn't respond, so I closed the door and left. That was about 11:00 am. She put the covers over her head and went to sleep (which she probably needed). I went back to the room every hour or two throughout the day, but she remained stubborn. At 6:00 pm I went in to find her sitting in the closet in a corner. I said, "Ella, aren't you hungry? Don't you want to come eat?" She nodded her head. I said, "Okay, but we still have to do our English lesson. Do you want to eat first, then do English, or do you want to do our English first and then eat?" She said, "English first!" I was saying a prayer of thanks to God that we won that one! Yes! We had a short, condensed English lesson, then she ate readily!

The interesting thing is, that the next day, Zhanna did the very same thing. It was later in the afternoon - about 4:00 because we had been busy in the morning, but as we started the lesson Zhanna had a nasty attitude and kept saying, "I don't can" (her favorite phrase). I tried coaxing and encouraging, but had to give her several warnings and told her that if she couldn't be nice and at least try, then she'd have to go to her room like Ella had to. After more hesitance and nastiness, she threw her book on the table and said, "I don't can!" I had no choice but to send her to her room. She hesitated, but stomped out (I was thankful she didn't refuse). Then it was her turn to be stubborn and not talk. It was almost as if she was saying, "If you love me like you love Ella, you'll set the rules for me, too." She wouldn't give in, so she missed dinner and stayed in her room all night. But the GREAT thing is, the next morning, both girls readily sat down and participated willingly in their English lesson. Praise God! We broke some ground!

Since then things have been getting somewhat easier. Zhanna still balks at new experiences, especially when she feels that people will judge her or think she's foolish. We were invited to go swimming at a swimming pool with Donna and her daughter, Paige, the other evening. At first, neither Zhanna nor Ella would get into the pool. Zhanna used her favorite expression ("I don't can"), coupled with the words, "many people." Paige was so kind and kept throwing a bouncy ball to Ella. It wasn't long before Ella went to change into her swimming suit and then she got into the pool. But it took Zhanna much longer. She sat by me on the sidelines for much of the time, and then finally got up and walked to the edge of the pool to throw the ball back and forth to Ella and Paige. In the last half an hour of pool time, Zhanna finally went to change and got into the pool. They had a blast! They really warmed up to Paige, and on the ride home afterwards, both girls said they wanted to do it again. We'll have many more of these new experiences and interactions with new people, but hopefully, with each encounter it will get easier and easier.

Another issue we are dealing with is that of money. The girls have been given a LOT - by us and by many other people. Ella's birthday was Saturday, and they received almost a truckload of presents (a slight exaggeration, but not too far off). So, today we went grocery shopping at Walmart. The girls had both been given some birthday money, which they wanted to take and spend immediately. That was fine with us right now. So, Zhanna picked out a movie DVD she wanted. It cost about $20, and she had $30. She wanted another DVD, in addition to the first. We explained that we couldn't buy it right now, so she would have to choose which one to buy, but she couldn't buy both. We also explained that soon we would like to start giving her and Ella an allowance, as we did for Nathan and Annie, where they had to do chores at home during the week, and if they did everything they would get some money at the end of the week. We explained that some of the money would be for saving, and some would be to give to church, but the rest she could have to save up to spend and buy things she wanted. She said, "I no like that." She was totally serious. I guess she just assumed that we would keep buying everything she asked for and it would all be wonderful! We'll have to keep explaining and help her and Ella to understand more about money management and about careful spending and saving. It will take time.

We're getting better with the food, though. They are trying more and more new foods, and learning to accept and like them. Ella even had green chili on her pizza the other day and liked it. Whoo-hoo! That's a New Mexico milestone! They really can't be part of our family until they like green chili! They both still eat a lot. It seems like they are making up for many years of not getting enough to eat. I think they love it that they can eat as much as they want and whenever they are hungry. We love to see them eat healthy and nourishing foods.

We've been having family devotionals at night. We have a Russian children's Bible, and we've been having the girls read a page each and then tell us the story in English the best they can. We fill in the blanks with sign language and guesswork. It has been a fun and interactive way to get them involved and to learn Bible stories at the same time. Then we all take turns praying. The girls sometimes pray in Russian, and sometimes say a short prayer in English. Beautiful!

God is supplying our every need. He is growing each one of us. Our relationships with each other are growing stronger. I think they've forgiven me for sending them to their rooms, and they understand that I truly love them, or I wouldn't do that. After their birthday party on the 4th of July, Ella wrote a note to me that said, "Mom, you the best. Ella." Sweet!

Mark and I have talked about how we are getting a much clearer picture of God in the Old Testament now. He longed to have a deeper mutual love relationship with His children, but that couldn't be accomplished without the rules. In the Old Testament God had to focus on the rules with His children, while attempting to build the relationship. He had to punish His children and send them to exile. They still didn't understand. But eventually, in sending Jesus, He demonstrated His immense love for us, His children. He has shown us He wants to provide for us and love us, but there is discipline and responsibility involved, too. We want the girls to be happy now, yes. But more importantly, we want them to grow to live a life that is Happy in the Lord. We want to give them Jesus and an eternal relationship with Him. Then they will have happiness and so much more.

Our days are full and blessed. Tomorrow we plan to take the girls to the zoo. We can't wait to see their reaction. Thank you so much for prayers and encouragement. God is an awesome God, and His people are a blessing.

Love to all,
Dawn and Mark

Adjustments and Settling in

2009-06-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

We've been home a week now. What a whirlwind of a week it has been - for all of us! Zhanna and Ella love their new big brother and sister, Nathan and Annie. They want to do almost everything with them. The girls vacilate from being happy and excited about their new life and all the new aspects of it, to being timid and afraid of new experiences. In many ways it is like having two 4-year-olds in slightly larger bodies running around trying everything out in our home. We almost crashed the computer a few days ago. Day before yesterday a CD was pushed into the stereo without being properly aligned and it got stuck. Mark had to take the stereo apart to get it out, but thankfully, the CD and the stereo were both fine. My jewelry box has been raided, and I've had to be very clear about learning to ask before you just help yourself.

We are happy the girls are feeling comfortable and are making themselves at home, but we have to teach them to respect other people's belongings and personal space. I'm not sure they have ever learned that before. Their early life certainly didn't give them any lessons in respectful personal space, and their life at the orphanage was all about "share and share alike." Another new lesson is learning how to approach life in a calm and peaceful way. At the orphanage the pace was either abruptly frantic or incredibly dull. Meals were eaten as quickly as possible and then it was on to other things. There was no such thing as sitting and visiting and socializing. It was run, run, run, or numb your mind by horribly boring and often inappropriate TV.

Since they've been here, they have been watching and enjoying some of the classic Disney videos. They especially like "The Little Mermaid," and "Beauty and the Beast." Mark has a bicycle and Ella got on it right away and began to ride. She has long enough legs that the boys' style bicycle is not a problem for her. Zhanna, however, is having a harder time. She apparently, never learned how to ride on the one old bicycle they all shared at the orphanage. Her legs are also shorter than Ella's, so she simply couldn't manuever the large bicycle. However, someone from church gave us a smaller girls' bicycle for her to learn on and she's catching on quickly, with just a little help. It won't be long before she's as proficient as Ella. We plan to get them both their own bikes sometime in the near future.

Food has been another issue. They were both eating a lot while we were in Kiev, but food here has not been the same. They both like eggs, so for a couple of days they were living on scrambled eggs and toast. We went to the grocery store and tried to get foods they would like, but when we try them at home they say they don't like them. Often, Ella will just look at something I have prepared and say "I no like." It's been a challenge to get her, especially, to try new things. Zhanna is more adventurous in being willing to taste new foods. I made lasagna the other night and neither of the girls thought they would like it, but after they tried it they ate it well. Last night I made a complete Ukrainian meal with verenyky dumplings and fried potatoes and onions, and cabbage and cucumber slaw and sliced tomatoes. They ate and ate and ate! Ella said, "Ukrainian food luchay (better)!" They asked if we could have Ukrainian food all the time. I said not all the time, but hopefully often.

If Zhanna is more willing than Ella to try new foods, she is not as willing to try new activities. I think she's at the age where she is so concerned about what others will think of her, that she is hesitant in all these new experiences. We went to play Putt-Putt last night. It was a beautiful evening and we planned to just make it a fun outing - not competitive at all. We all demonstrated how to putt the ball into the hole, and not very well, at that. But when it was Zhanna's turn she almost had a melt-down. She said, "I don't can!" Then she blasted the ball so hard it came right back at her. We all just tried to be calmly encouraging and went right ahead with the game. On the second hole she settled down and saw that none of us are golf pros, either, so she began to be able to laugh at herself, just as we were all laughing at ourselves. By the end she enjoyed it so much she wanted to play another game, but we talked her into going to the game room instead. The kids won enough tickets for Zhanna and Ella to buy some sour candy and a little toy each. It was a successful night.

The girls have begun opening up and sharing information about their past with us. They've told us a lot of things about their birth family and about life at the orphanage. Some of the information they've shared about their early life is heart wrenching. I can't stand the thought of my babies having had to go through all of that. But I'm so proud of their courage and continued desire to rise above their circumstances. I think they are trusting us enough to share all this with us now. We keep reassuring them that we love them, we will never leave them, we will always help them and take care of them and provide for them. I've even been telling them made-up bedtime stories each night about princesses and mermaids and even monkeys (last night) by the names of Zhanna and Ella who have gone through hardships and danger, but the King and Queen or the Mama and Papa monkeys are there to take care of them and love them. They seem to love these stories and ask for a new one every night.

We are beginning to work on English lessons now. Our good friend and teacher, Mary, has volunteered to work with the girls all summer and when school starts to help them learn to read and understand English. She brought workbooks this morning and scrabble letter tiles and other fun things. She's left some homework for the girls to be working on, but she says they are already well on their way. We are so grateful for her help.

Right now our days are centered on the girls and their needs. It takes 4 American adults (Mark and I and Nathan and Annie) to cater to the every whim of 2 Ukrainian girls. That must all change as we begin to integrate them more and more into the family and add responsibilites and expectations. It is a challenging transition. But God's efforts in transforming us to His expectations is challenging to Him, too. He is so patient with us. We can be patient with the girls as they learn and change and grow. We love them so much.

Till next time,
Dawn and Mark

Off to Kiev We Went

2009-06-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

As promised, I'm back to fill you in on the last few days of our adventure in Ukraine. The true title of this post should be "Oh, Ye of Little Faith." But God continues to amaze us and grow our faith. He certainly did that throughout this entire year in pursuit of adopting Zhanna and Ella, but especially those last few days of our quest.

Last Thursday, June 18 (it seems SO much longer than that), we, and the girls got up early and packed all our bags. We were ready by 8:30. Tanya arrived and we stuffed our suitcases and our new children into her car and set off for one intensely long day. Our first stop was the office building at which the addendum to the court decree was being finalized and attached to the official, original decree. We needed that addendum in order to get the birth certificates. We arrived and walked into a hallway crowded with all different types of people. We were thinking, "Oh no. This will take forever. We are under such a time crunch if we want to take the train to Kiev tonight." However, Tanya went in to see the woman who was working on our documents. It had been prearranged that we would pick up the documents as early as possible. We had to leave the girls sitting on chairs in the hallway as Mark and I and Tanya went in to the woman's office. The process she had to go through to attach our documents was incredibly cumbersome and time consuming. In America we would simply use a large stapler. But in Ukraine they have women who actually sew the documents together using an awl to punch the holes and sew with white twine and a large needle. When the documents are sewn the woman had to type out a label on a small typewriter that certifies she is the one who sewed the documents. She signed that and glued it around the spine of the document where the stitches were. That process took about an hour. Whew!

After we had the document in hand, it was off to the town of Velikaya Novoselka to obtain the girls' new birth certificates. The trip marked the 5th time we had traveled that road. Even though it was a two hour trip and we felt pressure each time, we still enjoyed the view all along the journey. The fields looked much different than they had a month earlier. They are filled with corn and wheat and sunflowers and soybeans, all about halfway to their maturity. The sky was a bright blue with white, fluffy clouds. On each trip we saw different animals and flowers. We loved seeing a family of turkeys crossing the road, with a mama, a daddy and about 20 little ones. We also saw a man driving an old fashioned open wooden wagon with a large shaggy horse pulling it. Just down the road we saw a man and a woman who had driven an all terrain vehicle into a hilly field to milk the cows there. Truly entertaining! The first time we drove that road we had seen lilacs and irises. This last time we saw roses and daisies and poppies and daylilies. The color against the walls of the drab, old fashioned Ukrainian houses is startling. About halfway in the journey was a village with a monastary, and the golden domes of the church reflected the sun's rays brilliantly for miles. The journey itself was beautiful and pleasant.

But obtaining the birth certificates in the town itself was another matter. It took 4 hours. Luckily, we had packed food for the girls for lunch and for dinner that night, thinking we were going to take the train. Mark and I took turns staying with them outside as they ate, and then trying to think up games and activities to keep them occupied. The facility was old, run down, and soviet style. The bathroom was hideous, but we used it, nonetheless. It was 4:30 by the time Tanya exited the office. I was certain she would say, "Well, we won't have time to go to Donetsk today to get the passports. Since tomorrow is Friday you'll just have to come back with me to Mariupol and leave on Monday." That was my lack of faith. I doubted God's ability to see us through and provide for us. But He did, and in the amazing fashion that reminds us, without a doubt, that He is God! Tanya told us to hurry and get in the car. We were driving to Donetsk!

We learned that Tanya's husband, Valari, had taken the bus from Mariupol to Donetsk in order to purchase train tickets for us. What a gift and a blessing to save us time! We were praying that he could get 4 tickets in the same sleeping compartment on the train, but again, I was very doubtful. During the summertime the train tickets go quickly, and usually you must just take what you get. However, Valari called as we were driving to Donetsk and informed us that he indeed had been able to purchase all four tickets in the same compartment. Absurd! But so God! Praises be! My faith was expanded.

The final hurdle was obtaining the passports. Vanya had called ahead and made special arrangements for the woman who makes the passports to stay late in order to process them for us. We paid a special "fee" for that. However, in that instance, it was well worth the extra payment in order to get the passports generated quickly. They were done in 45 minutes! Again, praise be to God! We made it to the 8:00 pm train with Tanya and Valari's help, and our little family was on our way to Kiev! Finally! Thank you God! We had to say good-bye to Tanya and Valari, and that was sad. They have become good friends. We are so thankful for them. They've talked about coming to America next summer. We hope they will be able to come visit us then.

We had a pleasant night on the train, eating our snacks, playing and singing with the girls, and sleeping in the rocking train compartment through the night. But we were so glad to be on our way and together as a family. The next morning, Vanya met us on the train when it arrived in Kiev at 10:00. He had arranged for a taxi and we were quickly on our way to the American Embassy to begin the process of obtaining the visas. After that initial visit to fill out paperwork we had to rush to the hospital to have the girls' medical checkups. They both had to have vaccinations as well. Poor babies! They were tired and hungry and then to have to get a shot! After the medical stuff we had to return to the embassy to try to get the visas that day. However, by that time, it was almost 3:00 and they said they would not have time. We would have to return on Monday. That was truly okay by us. We all needed to rest a little before flying home, and Mark and I wanted to do a little sightseeing and shopping.

So, Vanya had the taxi driver take us to the apartment he had rented for us. Quite comfortable and nice. He had to stay with us a few nights, so he and Mark had beds on the couch and the floor in the living room, and the girls and I slept on the bed in the bedroom. It was all quite cozy and "do-able." The one drawback was the heat, so we had to have the windows open, which brought in mosquitos. The apartment was located on a terribly busy street close to the center of Kiev - Independence Square. The street was used as a speedway at night. There was lots of engine revving and screeching tires throughout the night. We also heard lots of loud talking and laughing until about 2:00 every morning. One night Zhanna woke up next to me, after some particularly startling and loud crashing noises. She turned over and said to me, "Crazy night!" That it was!

But in spite of that, we still had fun! We were able to get out and walk to St. Sophia's cathedral and St. Michael's cathedral and St. Andrew's cathedral - all beautiful, golden-domed, and soaring with incredible architecture and art, inside and out. We went shopping at the stalls all along the cobbled streets in the part of town most frequented by tourists. We saw all kinds of Ukrainian things for sale - traditional clothing, Matriuska dolls, Pysenky eggs, wooden bowls and spoons painted beautifully with flowers and strawberries. We wanted to buy Zhanna and Ella each some Ukrainian clothing, but they would have nothing to do with it. They didn't want "Ukrainian" anything. They wanted American! We did buy a beautiful embroidered blouse for Annie, and they were pleased to help pick that out. We also went out to eat a lot. The girls ate like teenage boys! They were so hungry! I think they finally had the freedom to eat as much as they wanted and whatever they wanted. It surprised us how much they ate.

On Sunday morning we decided it would be more beneficial to us and the girls if we simply stayed in the apartment and had our own church service. Vanya chose to stay with us and it was great to have him translate for the girls. We sang songs together from the Russian/ English songbook, and then Mark shared the story of the lost sheep and told the girls that was the way we felt about them - we would do anything to bring them home with us! He also shared that Jesus felt that way about all of us, too. We shared information about Jesus and what He means to us. We also took communion together with good Ukrainian grape juice and broken crackers. We explained that we remember Jesus' body and blood and that He did what He did for us because He loves us. We told the girls that we love Jesus and we hope they will come to know Him more and more and love Him, too. The girls seemed to respond well and enjoy it.

In the afternoon, Vanya agreed to guide us to the botanical gardens in Kiev, via the subway or "Metro." The subway in Kiev is the deepest in the world. It was a long escalator ride down, and the underground stations are quite nice with chandeliers and tile mosaics done in somewhat of an Art Deco style because they were probably built during the 1920's. We enjoyed the botanical gardens very much. We probably only saw a fraction of them - all different habitats, including forest and woodland. They had a large greenhouse that included a room of cactus. It made us feel at home! Our stay in Kiev with the girls was very nice. We all had fun and spent time bonding and working through some more relationship issues. God provided everything at just the right time!

On Monday we went back to the embassy to get the visas. When we had those in our hands we were elated. That represented the last step preventing us from going home. To hold the passports and visas in our hands represented the freedom to fly!! We next headed to the Delta office to see if we could change our tickets and buy tickets for the girls. Vanya had checked at the airport two days earlier and was told there were no seats available flying out of Kiev to America for the rest of the week. However, God once again answered our prayers and provided in the most wonderful way. At the Delta office the woman at the desk did some checking and told us we could all fly to Moscow the next morning at 8:00 am, and then from there on to Atlanta, and then on to Albuquerque. Not only that, she could get us seats together on all flights. How amazing is that? So, on Tuesday morning in Kiev we woke early to begin a 24 hour journey halfway around the world to get home. It is always hard to travel that long and that far, but the girls did amazingly well.

I've already shared about our homecoming and how special that was. We are so happy to be home! I want to share more about the girls' adjustment soon, and how we see them blossoming day by day. People have told us the girls are blessed to have us, but we are blessed to have the girls. Already, they are completely and wonderfully our children. I love watching them when they don't know I'm watching them. They are beautiful and special. They are like little flowers that had been wilting somewhat in the soil they were in, but when given the water and sunlight of love they are blooming. We praise God so much! God is good and He provides. We are so thankful for all His provision and we are thankful to be home.

Love,
Dawn and Mark,
parents of four children

HOME, SWEET HOME!

2009-06-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

We're home! We landed on home turf about 9:00 pm Tuesday night. It is so wonderful to sleep in my own bed again! It is so wonderful to deal with life from familiar surroundings and in ways that are comfortable to us. We have new eyes as we come back with with such a greater appreciation for what God has blessed us with, and the luxuries that surround us here. I hope I never take for granted anything God has given me ever again. My house feels huge. My washing machine looks huge, and I'm thankful for a dryer. My refrigerator looks huge. Our family owns 4 cars, including those of our grown children. We have an amazing variety of convenient and fresh foods ever available at a grocery store less than 5 minutes away to which we drive our car on smoothly paved streets in well controlled traffic. I have a closetful of clothes and the mall is 10 minutes away. I can afford to buy new clothes fairly often. And all these things are just the physical and material blessings. I haven't even started on the spiritual and emotional blessings.

Anyway, we were met at the airport by Nathan and Annie, and Mark's parents, and my good friend and colleague, Regina. They were holding signs written in Russian that read, "Welcome home, Mark and Dawn, Zhanna and Ella." It was more than wonderful to see them. They brought one of our 15 passenger church vans in order to carry all the people and luggage. We drove home and the girls were amazed by the lights of the city, even though they were exhausted after traveling for about 24 hours straight. As we pulled into our church parking lot, on the way to our house, we noticed cars parked there. I asked, "What's going on at the church building?" No one said a word. Then, in total shock and surprise, it occurred to us what was going on. As we pulled through the parked cars on either side, headlights went on and horns started honking. Then people got out and started waving signs and balloons. The van drove to the end of the long line of cars and we decided we'd better get out and see everyone. Mark told the girls, "Zhanna and Ella, this is all for you! People have been waiting for you to come home and they love you!"

An amazing number of our church family and my coworkers and students and families came to welcome us home. I have never witnessed a greater outpouring of agape love. It was so humbling to be the recipients of that love. We felt so blessed as our dear friends came to hug us and welcome us home and say they had missed us. Everyone tried not to overwhelm the girls, but at the same time, they wanted to meet them and tell them they had been praying for them to come home. The girls were given balloons, and new princess blankets for their beds, and flowers, and cards and many other gifts. If they were overwhelmed it was by love. I'm positive nothing like that had ever happened before in their lives.

No one stayed long. They knew we needed to get home. They said their "I love you's," and "good nights," and we headed home. As the girls walked in and went to their new room they were quiet, but had smiles on their faces. They walked into their room and said, "Wow!" They looked all around and sat down on their beds. We showed them the empty drawers and closet and told them it was all for them to use. They seemed amazed. Then they had to bounce around all over the house, looking at everything and asking questions. They liked looking at the pictures of our family when Nathan and Annie were younger. If they were feeling tired and worn out when they arrived, they didn't feel that way any longer. As a matter of fact, at midnight, as I was trying desperately to get everyone to settle down and get to bed, I asked Zhanna, "Aren't you tired, Zhanna? Don't you want to go to sleep?" She replied, "I'm not tired. I'm happy!" What do you say to that? It brought tears to our tired eyes. We praise God.

Yesterday we just hung out at the house all day, trying to reassimilate into this environment. Mark and I were feeling zoned out all day, so I'm sure Zhanna and Ella were just numb. They didn't talk very much yesterday, in either Russian or English. I think they were just trying to absorb it all. But they enjoyed playing video games with Nathan and Annie and "Babushka and Didushka" came over for a late lunch. They took a drive with Annie in the afternoon to see the area around us. They seemed content and happy.

Last night we all slept much better, and the girls woke up about 8:00 and got dressed in clean clothes and brushed and fixed their hair and made their beds without any prompting. We had a great day today. We all went grocery shopping, and then all the females in our family went shopping for clothes for Zhanna and Ella. They seemed astounded by Walmart and everything available to eat and wear there. We tried to get lots of foods that they would like and we picked out several cute outfits, along with accesories like earrings and hair ties. On the way home, I said, "Zhanna and Ella, you've been in America now for 2 days. What do you think?" They both said, "I like!"

Tonight we put on some music they liked and we all danced around the living room. Then Zhanna got ahold of the post-it notes and started writing notes to each of us. She started with stuff like "Mark funny monkey," but ended up giving each one of us a note that said, "Dawn good mom," "Mark good pop," "Nathan good brother," "Annie good sister." She ended with "All good family." What treasures! Later we watched some home videos of Nathan and Annie when they were little kids doing goofy things. Zhanna and Ella laughed and thought it was really funny.

Tonight we are all going to bed, tired and still dealing with jet lag, but happy. Zhanna and Ella are making themselves comfortable in our home and in our hearts. We feel like family.

Tomorrow I'd like to write another blog post, filling in the details about the last few days of our Ukraine adoption adventure and the ways God worked through it all. It was clearly evident that His timing was absolutely perfect. So, more to come.

Good night, from home,
Love,
Dawn and Mark

It Goes On, and On, and On

2009-06-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

It is a grey evening in Mariupol. Maybe it will rain. It has been raining a bit inside of us for about 3 days now. You know the saying about the best laid plans. . . Today we had planned once again to go to the village to get the birth certificates. We arrived at the office building to pick up the 16 finished copies of the amendment that were to be attached to the 16 packets of the final court decree. It was discovered there was a small error in one statement in the amendment. Tanya and Mark and I had to drive back to the court building. The judge who needs to sign a corrected amendment was not there and was not scheduled to be back until late in the afternoon. So, another day to wait. We're tired. The girls are tired. We're all ready to go home.

The amendment is now supposed to be signed and ready by tomorrow at 8:00am. Tanya will pick it up and take it back to the office building where it is to be attached to the other copies and finalized. We are praying fervently that there are no other problems. If that part all goes well, our plan is to load all our luggage and the girls into Tanya's car tomorrow and all of us will go to the village to get the birth certificates, then on to Donetsk to get the passports. If all that goes well, we plan to buy train tickets in Donetsk and leave about 7:00 on an overnight train to Kiev. The timing will be critical and we have a slim margin for error if we are going to do this. But we know God reveals Himself best in these kinds of situations. At the same time, if it is His will that we stay here a while longer, we are willing to wait and be patient until it is in His will that we go.

The benefit of trying to get to Kiev by Friday morning is that we can begin the process on Friday, rather than wait until Monday. We will have to take the girls to a hospital for medical tests as soon as we arrive in Kiev. Then we go to the Embassy to apply for a visa. If we can get that done on Friday, then we'll have the weekend in Kiev to relax and do some sightseeing. By Tuesday it should all be finished and perhaps, PERHAPS, we can be on a plane home by Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning. We are all so ready.

Today we had to deal with Zhanna's attitude a bit, but praise God, He gave us words to speak, and it turned out beautifully. All four of us walked to Amstore one last time to purchase food for our day tomorrow. Zhanna didn't want to go, but we insisted. She put her shoes on and walked out the door ahead of us. She kept walking and wouldn't look back, even when we called her name. Mark and I and Ella stopped walking and told Zhanna to come back. At first she just kept walking, but we held our ground, so she turned around and came back. I told her, in the best words I could find, that she wasn't acting very nice yesterday and today, and that needs to change. I told her that Mark and I are doing the best we can, and we need her help. I asked her if she understood. She said yes, but still seemed a little "put out." However, we kept walking and she walked with us. After we had walked for a little while, I told her, "Zhanna, I'm going to say one more thing, and then I'm going to drop it. We love you and Ella very much, that's why we are here in Ukraine. This adoption thing is hard! We are all tired and ready for it to be over. But we love you so much, or we wouldn't be doing this! So we all just need to work together and help each other as a family! We don't have the words to use yet to talk about feelings. That will come. But for now, we just need to be kind and love each other. We love you and we will never leave you!" I hugged her. She seemed to understand very well what I was saying. After that she slowly softened and relaxed and by the time we got to Amstore it was all good. I thank God so very much for His wisdom and His words that can cross the barriers of language as we struggle together to become a family.

I promised to make a list of Blessings and Hardships. I think God has shown me through the last few days, especially, that truthfully, our hardships are a lot less severe than we think at the time, and our blessings are much more plentiful. Yes, throughout the past year, the hardest part of this process has been waiting, waiting, waiting, more waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. It is hard to wait. But we are instructed to "wait on the Lord." We understand that His ways are best, and He indeed wants us to learn patience. We are willing. So, I've just narrowed down all the hardships to that one single nugget of an idea - waiting. It has taught us so much.

Our blessings are abundant! God has grown us so much this past year. That is the best blessing. God has given us two new daughters. Fantastic! God has shown us how blessed we are with Nathan and Annie and what wonderful young people they are to be willing to open their home and their hearts and share their parents with two new little sisters. We are so proud of them. We are so blessed with Mark's parents and all the love they give us and our family all the time. They can't wait to be "Babushka" and "Didushka."

We are so blessed by our loving and wonderful church family. They have given so much to us during this past year, and for the 23 years before that. We wouldn't be here without them. They will welcome the girls with open arms and love them beyond reason. I'm so blessed to be part of a terrific, supportive staff of a wonderful Christian School. They, and my students, and their families have prayed for me and Mark and the girls for a year. I can't wait for them all to meet Zhanna and Ella. We are so blessed with extended family members who are lovingly supportive of this adoption. We have been incredibly blessed by so many giving financial support. We couldn't have done this without God's abundant blessing coming through the generous support of other people.

We have been blessed to be in Ukraine and to get to know and love so many of the people here. We have family here now. We will always love them. We have been blessed to be here this long and experience this culture as a native would. We love it, in spite of the differences and the difficulties. That's how you feel about your home. We've been blessed to stay at the TLC and to be served by such loving Christians here. We've been blessed by Tanya, who has practically run herself ragged taking care of our needs. We are thankful for Vanya, who has taken care of many details that we don't even know about. We are blessed to be thinking about going home to the comforts and familiarites there, and to introduce our girls to everything good and bad that is America. In spite of its problems and issues, it is a great nation, thanks be to God. In spite of the rain falling on our spirits this week, we must say, in everything, we are BLESSED!

Pray for us. We hope to be on a train to Kiev tomorrow night. We hope to be home by the middle of next week, if the Lord wills. We love you all and thank you.

In Christ,
Dawn and Mark

Good News Today!

2009-06-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

We went to the court building this morning. Mark and I had to sign one paper. Then Tanya and Arkadi went inside for about 2 hours. We waited outside. When they came out they were talking to themselves in Russian, and we couldn't understand what they were saying. We followed them to the car, got in, and finally had a chance to ask, "Well, what happened?" They said it was good news. The court agreed to immediately issue the document which will allow us to get the birth certificates, in spite of the problem with the numbers. They could have chosen to wait one week or maybe longer to issue this document, but God answered our prayers. Tanya has been working very hard on our behalf. Arkadi called her, "Your Majesty!" We will have the document in our hands tomorrow morning, so we can once again drive to the village (4th trip!). Then we will go to Donestk to get the passports. Hopefully it will all be done tomorrow, then we can take the train to Kiev on Thursday. We still won't know our final flight home arrangements until we get to Kiev. But as of right now, we've only been set back a few days. Praise God! We pray that the road ahead is smoother with no more stumbling blocks.

After our court appointment this morning there was nothing pressing for us to do, so we went back to the TLC and just spent the day there with Zhanna and Ella and the other kids. It was a gentle, relaxing day. Ella has been fun and silly all day. We put a puzzle together and played games and went outside to play frisbee. Zhanna, on the other hand, being 13, is rather in awe of the older teens in the TLC. It seems that she doesn't want to appear weird or uncool. She will show us affection in our room, in private, but never when the other kids are anywhere nearby. It's so typical of kids this age, but it's interesting to us that parents are uncool when you are 13, whether they've been your parents for life or for just a week! She's been listening to the CD player with the earplugs almost all day long. Oh well! We know full well these are some of the things that are ahead for us. We will have to deal with all kinds of issues, no doubt. We do believe Zhanna is in the midst of some natural age related insecurity issues. We pray that our love and consistent encouragement and attention will help her to feel secure and not so concerned about what others think. We also pray that we can help her to know a Heavenly Father who loves her unconditionally.

If all goes well tomorrow I will share our Blessings and Hardships blog tomorrow. Perhaps it will be our last night in Mariupol. Please keep praying for all the situations to work out well, and for God to keep the paths straight! Thank you.

Love,
Dawn and Mark

Patience and Faith

2009-06-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, we have a slight change in our plans. We may not be home as soon as we thought we would. Today Tanya and Valari picked us up at 7:30. We drove 2 hours to the village where the girls were born in order to get the new birth certificates. Then Tanya talked to the women in the office for 2 more hours while Mark and I and Valari waited. Come to find out, 6 years ago, when the girls' birthparents' parental rights were terminated, and they were sent to the orphanage, birth certificates were issued for both girls. We don't know if they had birth certificates prior to this or not. Perhaps the mother gave birth at home and never registered their births. However, when the certificates were issued 6 years ago, the number on the certificates was written differently than the number the office recorded in their books. The person who recorded and wrote down these numbers no longer works there. So . . . . they wouldn't issue the birth certificates unless we get a court order allowing a change in the numbers. We drove 2 hours back to Mariupol, disappointed, but trusting in God.

When we arrived in Mariupol we drove to Arkadi's office (the social worker). He called the court and arranged for Tanya to go and meet someone there. We drove over to the court building. Tanya went in and Mark and I and Valari waited for a long time until she came out. When she came she said she was told we need to add an amendment to the court decree and the court authorities would sign it, in which it states that Mark and I are asking for the birth certificates to be issued, in spite of the concern about the difference in the numbers. The court would then approve it and would generate 16 copies to be notarized and attached to the 16 original court decrees. We then went back to Arkadi's office and waited and waited and waited while Tanya and Arkadi worked on doing everything necessary to get the document done. We have an appointment at the court at 8:30 tomorrow morning to petition the court to see if they will allow this document to be done immediately. If so, we might have it in another day or two. If NOT, we must wait 5 more days until the document is approved and issued. We could then return to the village for the birth certificates next week.

So, we can't go home until we go to Kiev. We can't go to Kiev until we have the passports. We can't get the passports until we get the birth certificates. We can't get the birth certificates until we get the special documents. We can't get the special documents until the court gives approval and tells us when. Good thing God is in control of all of this.

We finally got back to the TLC about 6:00 this evening, with no lunch and not much breakfast. Zhanna and Ella had stayed here all day with Alexandra and some of the kids. They played video games and "hung out." We were very proud of them. They took it upon themselves to wash their clothes and hang them out yesterday, and today while we were gone, they packed their suitcase and bags and got everything ready to go, thinking we were leaving tomorrow. We had to come home and explain that we are not leaving tomorrow, and may not leave until next week. They seemed fine with it. They are good girls, and seem to enjoy being here at the TLC. They are very relaxed here. We were also so pleased that they seemed genuinely happy to see us when we returned this evening, and have wanted to be with us since we returned. It is now after dinner and they are playing a "tag" game here in the basement with Mark. They keep running over to me, saying, "Save us, save us!" Then they giggle. Of course, I pretend to keep them safe, and then they go right back to running away from Mark! It's all so much fun! I think the tag game started when he offered them some chocolate, and then they came in and stole his "stash." They know how to get him to run!

I had intended for this to be my last blog from Mariupol. But it looks like God has more plans for us here. It's okay. It's amazing how differently we feel about additional waiting, now that we have the girls with us. It will just be for a little while longer and then we'll be home. Of course, we are anxious to be home as a complete family with Nathan and Annie and Zhanna and Ella and Mark and I. Our older kids have been wonderful through all this, and we miss them a lot. But, we will be home soon. We are just learning a little bit more about patience and faith. If we have patience and faith we will soon bring more hope and joy into our lives. Zhanna Hope and Evelina Joy, that is. God will see us through.

So, until we get home (even home in Heaven) we will experience Hardships and Blessings. We'll just wait on the Lord. I'll save this blog topic for another day.

Dasveedanyia from Mariupol,
Dawn and Mark

A Month of Sundays

2009-06-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

We have now been in Ukraine 5 weeks and have attended church here 4 Sundays. We've become familiar with the people here, and they have warmly accepted us and loved us and prayed for us. This morning it was announced that we are legally parents of our girls now and we will be leaving on Tuesday. Mark got up and had Valari translate for him as he thanked God and thanked the people of the church and the TLC for their gracious lovingkindness. So many people greeted us after the service, and even though we couldn't understand everything that was said, we know that it was all loving encouragement and praise to God. It is such a blessing to be joined in Christ with fellow believers, no matter where you are on the planet. When you speak the language of Christ, your earthly language is no barrier.

Tanya brought most of the girls' closest friends to church this morning and after church all of us were invited to a tea party upstairs in the TLC. Alexandra, one of the housemoms here, had baked a wonderful "Sacher Torte." It was heavenly! There were crispy round layers of something similar to phyllo dough that had been baked individually, but filled with a sweet creamy center in between each layer. Wow! Mark had two pieces. Afterward he told Alexandra, "If something ever happens to Dawn, I'm going to marry you!" Alexandra is probably in her late 60's or early 70's. She is the kindest, sweetest Christian woman, and she cooks great. You should have seen how red her face became! She smiled and said, "Oh, Mark!" Tanya suggested that she and Val move to New Mexico and live with us to teach the girls English and us Russian, and then Alexandra can also move in with us to cook. I actually really like that idea (only some small matters of space and money that might need to be taken care of first)!

Last night the girls slept in the bunkbeds upstairs, so I'm sure it was a better night's sleep for all of us. Zhanna and Ella have really connected with some of the teenage girls here. They have been doing hair and nails together, and playing with the two guinea pigs the girls keep upstairs. We've already promised Zhanna and Ella we'll get a guinea pig when we get home (we've done it before, we'll do it again! Dejavu!).

Since tonight and tomorrow will probably be the last blogs before we get back to the U.S.A., I thought I would share a list of things we will miss from our time here in Ukraine, and what we won't miss.

WHAT WE'LL MISS:
~ The warmth and love of all our new friends here.
~ The TLC kids gathered (squished) around the table every evening, holding hands in prayer and then saying, "Priyatnava Apetita!" before we eat.
~ Ukrainian Chocolate
~ The cool European style windows that open at the top and lean into the room when you turn the handle one way, but open at the side all the way to let in more air when you turn the handle another way.
~ A lot of the food here - it is wonderfully tasty "kusna" and very healthy
~ Ukrainian Chocolate
~ The great European hot pots that boil water in a matter of seconds
~ Ukrainian Chocolate (okay, you get the idea!)
~ The view of the sea from the top of the hill
~ Our walks to Amstore to eat and shop
~ Passionate Russian conversation
~ The flowers of Ukraine

WHAT WE WON'T MISS:

~ Raised thresholds in random doorways on which you always stub your toe (common in Europe)
~ Not flushing your toilet paper and having to throw it in the trash can (plumbing is an issue)
~ "Squatty Potties" in public places, if you can find one at all (I guess they think they are more sanitary than toilets)
~ Our walks to the orphanage everyday
~ Passionate Russian conversation (yelling) outside our bedroom window late at night
~ Daylight at 4:00 am

In the next blog I plan to share our list of Hardships and Blessings of the year, and of the adoption experience. So tune in tomorrow! Until then, our love to all. Your prayers are being answered. Please pray for our day tomorrow as we have a long day planned to drive to the village to get the birth certificates and then to Donetsk for the passports. Tanya will pick us up in the morning at 7:30 am.

God is mighty and He is to be praised. We love Him and adore Him. He is leading the way. We only have to follow Him - all the way home.

Love and blessings,
Dawn and Mark

Building Trust

2009-06-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Last night was fine, although I had to get up in the middle of the night and put some blankets and a pillow on the floor and sleep there. There were two little furnaces on either side of me in the bed and it was the warmest night since we've been here. In addition, Ella snores and talks in her sleep, so it was not the best night's sleep I've ever had, although probably one of the sweetest!

It started so cute. They had to call their teachers and friends back at the orphanage first. They talked a short time and seemed content. Then we three snuggled in the bed and Mark got settled on the couch. I told the girls a story about two little flowers named Zhanna and Ella who had had a spell put on them by a wicked witch. A good fairy came along and touched each of them with her magic wand and "poof!" they turned into girls again. They learned they were really princesses and were going to go live in the castle of the good king and queen. I have no idea if this story has any psychological symbolism at all, but it's what came to me as I was grasping for words to tell a story. I think both girls liked it and laughed and smiled in parts. After we turned out the lights there was a normal amount of giggling and making jokes. Ella said, "Good night, Kitty princesses in the bed. Good night, dog in the doghouse." She was referring to Mark over on his couch. We all laughed and laughed. Then they were getting crazy and saying good-night to all the English words they could think of. Zhanna got stuck, and we were having a hard time understanding what she meant. Finally, she got out of bed, went to turn on the light and pointed at her stomach. "Good night stomach!" That cracked us all up. So, we had to get settled again, and then I had to shush them a few times, but they both quickly fell asleep and slept all night. It felt GREAT to be with our girls all together as a family!

This morning we all woke about 8:00 and got ready for the day. We had breakfast and then we went to the market. We had fun looking and buying a few small things for the girls. Then we walked to Amstor (we love that place!) and bought another "Rynetky" CD because the girls left the one we bought before at the orphanage. We'd rather buy another than try to go back and collect the old one. We ate lunch at Amstor again (sharing the food they couldn't finish) and went home to take a nap. The girls said they were sleepy. When we got home I went to sleep on the bed and Mark slept on the couch. The girls headed upstairs and we thought they were going to sleep in the bunkbeds. However, pretty soon they both came downstairs, and I woke up with both of them beside me on one side of the bed sharing the ear plugs for Mark's CD player, listening to the Rynetky CD! They were "whispering" ( right!) and giggling. They both wanted to go to the "Moray" or the Sea.

Our friend, Natasha, from the TLC, wanted to go, too, so she led the way. Mark and I were following, watching the girls talk with Natasha. They needed towels and water bottles and snacks. Mark put the towels in his backpack. Ella had packed a smaller bag and started out carrying it, but it wasn't long before I ended up carrying that, too. Mark and I laughed and said to ourselves, "Look, in one day we really have become parents again. We are cleaning up after these kids, buying whatever they ask for (for right now, at least), carrying all their stuff, and getting very little sleep!" Yes, the empty nest has come and gone! It is indeed full again! We praise God.

We got glimpses of the girls' personalities once again on our trek to the sea. Zhanna was ready to swim and wore her swimming suit under a coverup. Ella had no interest in swimming. Zhanna went far out into the sea on her own, and then she and Natasha asked Mark to let them ride a bungee cord/trampoline type of ride available close by. It was cheap, and Mark is ready to pay for just about anything now, as they come and ask him. Then Zhanna wanted to go down a water slide in the same area. She's a little thing, but doesn't seem to have any fear. Her quiet determination is written all over her face. Ella, on the other hand, holds back a little more. She's a bit more hesitant and reluctant to jump in to new situations and adventures. But she seems to be the one who will be extremely loyal and sensitive to others, once the barriers have come down. She's always offering to share her food or drink or anything else she has with us all the time. She constantly comes to me to lean her head on my shoulder or hold my hand. They are both just so dear to us already.

At the sea, Mark and I had time to talk about the trust that is being built right now. Mark said it is like in the book of Hebrews, which talks about Jesus indeed becoming a Jew and fully human. He came to our world, before we could have entrance to His. That trust was built. That's the way it has been with us and the girls. We have come and spent time in their world, now they trust us enough to go back to ours. I think they know we love them and will never hurt them or leave them. Last night I tried to share those words with them before we went to bed. I tried to tell them that they now have a very happy Mama and a happy Papa, and that we will always take care of them and we love them. I think they understand, but even now can't fully grasp everything that means. However, they are ready to go with us.

Our train tickets have been purchased for Tuesday evening at 5:00. We'll arrive in Kiev on Wednesday morning. So, Monday night will probably be my last blog until we get home, unless we have time to go to an internet cafe of some kind and pay to use the computers there. We'll have to see. I'll try to share as many details about travel plans as I can before we go to Kiev, otherwise we'll just contact family members to let them know. But it is looking like we'll probably be coming home next Saturday - one week!

All is well and God is good! May He be praised and glorified.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

We are Free!

2009-06-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

We have the girls! Praise God, "Slava Bog"! Thank you, God, "Spaseba Bog"! "Dvia Gracivuia Dotchki"! Two beautiful daughters! They are ours forever and ever and ever! This day feels exactly like the high a new mother feels after the pains of giving birth have passed. The endorphins kick in and WOW! Everything is wonderful! The rest of the day is just a blur of happiness!

Today was nothing like we anticipated it would be. We got up early and were ready when Tanya arrived at 7:45. We went to the court building first thing and picked up 16 copies of the court decree that says we are actually and legally the girls's parents! Then we headed to the village to get the birth certificates. It takes at least two hours to get to the village. About 45 minutes down the road, Tanya suddenly pulled over and said she just thought about something. It suddenly occurred to her that we might need to take the old birth certificates. She called Vanya, and yes, we did need those and they were back at the orphanage. So, we turned around and headed back to Mariupol. At first we were disappointed. Our day had started early and well, and we were looking ahead at getting many things accomplished today. However, God had other plans, and they were SO MUCH BETTER!

Since we already had the court decree, and we were heading back to the orphanage anyway, Tanya called the social worker to see if we could go ahead and get the girls and finalize the papers at the orphanage. That's what we've been waiting on for almost a year! It was agreed that we could do that, so we went there. We had more dealings with the director, but I'll spare you the details at this point. We signed papers in the office. The girls brought their suitcase down and we left. We had one more step to finalize at the bank, and then we returned to the orphanage to get those papers back, and it was done! The girls are ours! We don't ever have to go back to the orphanage! Hallelujah! Slava Bogu!

Tanya and Mark and I and the girls had one more stop at the central business office in town to sign more papers about obtaining the girls' birth certificate. In the meantime, Tanya called the village office where we had intended to go today. She learned that there was some special election or other event the office they were preparing for, so even if we had showed up they wouldn't have been able to help us today. We have an appointment there Monday morning at 10:00 and intend to go to Donetsk after that to get the passports. We'll spend Tuesday here, cleaning up and packing and getting ready to go. Then we'll catch a train to Kiev on Tuesday evening. We'll arrive there Wednesday morning. Then we get busy again as we do everything we need to do there. We don't exactly know yet when we'll be flying home, but maybe a week from tomorrow on Saturday, June 20. That's what we're aiming for at this time, anyway.

So, after all the "stuff" we finally celebrated being a family! Tanya dropped us off at the Amstor and Mark and I and the girls ate lunch together - just the four of us for the first time! Then we went shopping for shampoo and toothbrushes and pajamas and other things the girls needed. Then it was shopping for clothes and we had a blast! The girls were so sweet trying things on and letting me see them to give my approval or not.

The girls both seem to be more relaxed than we've seen them since we arrived here. Away from the orphanage and the peace of God is upon them. They've held our hands and laughed with us and teased with us and smiled at us and with us all day. Tanya arranged for the girls to stay in bunk beds in an empty room upstairs. But after we arrived here and got their room all ready, they came down and laid down on the bed with me in our room. Zhanna asked if they could sleep with me tonight! Mark had thought about this a couple of days ago, but I thought they might feel too weird about it. However, they really want to sleep with me in the bed downstairs, so Mark has graciously and happily agreed to take the couch so we can all be together in one room. Wow! We really are a family! The girls and I will be like little puppies or kittens sleeping together in one bed. I'll let you know how it goes!

Well, I'd better go for now. Both girls have had their showers and are reading in the bed, waiting for me. I'm a tired Mama tonight, and Mark is a tired Papa. But we are happy. Ever so happy! God is good - we praise Him with every fiber of our being. He has set the captives FREE!

Love to all!
Dawn and Mark

Happy Party, Dirty Money

2009-06-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

This was day 10 after the court decision to allow us to adopt. Tomorrow morning at 8:00 am the paperwork will be signed that will grant Mark and me legal status as the girls' parents. We will drive to the village where they were born after that to obtain birth certificates with their new names. When we hold those two pieces of paper in our hands, and I see their names and our names on them, I think it will finally feel real to me! We will be Mama and Papa! We hope and pray we will have time to drive to Donetsk in the afternoon to obtain the passports, and then go to the orphanage to get the girls and the last of their paperwork.

Our day was full today. We met Valari at the market at 8:00 am and he took us on the grand tour of places in the market we had not seen, including the huge meat market inside an old building. All kinds of sausages were hanging everywhere and chicken and fish was readily available. We haven't seen much beef. Maybe it's too expensive, or maybe people just don't eat it here, I don't know. We saw the Babushka selling hog snouts and ears again, and I asked Val what they are used for. He said people like to boil them and then freeze them and eat the meat off them. Okay, whatever! I still don't think I want to try it!

We also walked by a table with all kinds of fresh dairy products, including homemade cottage cheese and unsweetened homemade yogurt. Valari talked us in to buying some of that and trying it. Mark and I each took a couple of bites, but we were not impressed. That was enough for us. All we ended up buying at the market today were fresh strawberries and bananas for the going away party we were hosting for Zhanna and Ella at the orphanage this afternoon.

While I'm on the subject of food, I need to share that we have tried some very unusual dishes here. We had "tongue" pie last week. I didn't know what it was until I had already ordered it. It just looked like a nice quiche to me - perhaps mushroom or something. When I was told what it was I didn't know if I could stomach it or not, but it was actually pretty good. Chewy . . . I asked if it was pork tongue or beef tongue and the answer I received was, "I have no idea." Best not to ask too many questions. Mark and I were also served Salo last week. It is basically just pork fat that has been baked and sliced and sometimes salted, and then eaten on dark bread. It is served with dill and cucumber slices and tomato wedges. It is a traditional Ukrainian delicacy - used often in celebrations. Okay, so we celebrated. I felt like a Cossack - you have to have a strong constitution to eat a lot of Salo. Those who eat a lot of it must drink a lot of Vodka in order to get it down!

So, back to our day. The party this afternoon was wonderful. Mark and I enjoyed shopping at the Amstore the last two mornings in order to purchase things for the party. We bought cookies and candy and chips and Coke, Fanta and Sprite, as well as the fruit from the market this morning. We also bought plastic tablecloths and plates, cups and napkins. When it was time to set up for the party at the orphanage, the boys brought tables out to the living area and put chairs all around. Then Zhanna and Ella and the girls took charge. I think Zhanna and Ella felt proud of being able to make it so festive and pretty. They covered the tables with the tablecloths and put plates all around the table with the cups and napkins. They divided the food into dishes all down the table so everyone had access to all types of the food. Then the kids politely sat down to wait. I have never seen the boys so still! These boys are rowdy little things - always on the move and usually dirty from playing outside all day long. But today their faces were washed (I don't know about their hands - we can only hope!), and they sat extremely still as they waited for everything to be ready and everyone to come to the table. The table was groaning with the weight of all the good stuff it held. I thought there was no way it would all be eaten at one sitting. However, I think the kids at the orphanage are trained to eat as much as possible when good food is put before them. They don't want it to go to waste, and they know if they don't eat it now, someone else will before they'll have a chance to come back to it! I watched as they started with chips and soda and cookies and candy, and made their way to the strawberries, and eventually everyone ate at least one banana! By the end of the party almost all the food had disappeared. Then the kids thanked us profusely, and everyone helped clean up. The plastic plates that we would all throw away were carefully washed to be used again another time, and the plastic table cloths were also wiped down to reuse. The boys found a great use for all the plastic cups. They started stacking them into pyramid-type towers and played with them as if they were building blocks. Such simple objects to us are like treasures and new toys to them. The party seemed to make Zhanna and Ella feel very special and I think helped to give them some closure with their group and their friends. Everyone was in a great mood the rest of the afternoon as we played outside and picked cherries.

Another part of our day today was not so much fun. We have more news to share about the "dirty" side of this adoption procedure here. Let's just say that a part of the way things operate here is incredibly vile. We had been told before we arrived in Mariupol that the orphanage director may expect some sort of "gift" to the orphanage in return for our adoption of the girls. We were told it may be as much as $600. The orphanage director is a very moody woman and we have been concerned that she might do something to hinder the process of the adoption and stall or delay the process at some point. Tanya called the records woman at the orphanage yesterday and asked about what else needed to be done, because we would be going to court and getting the birth certificates to finalize the adoption on Friday. The records woman told Tanya the director wanted us to come in and meet with her this morning. We were shown into her office and Tanya spoke to her and let her know that we were about to finalize the adoption and asked if there was anything else that needed to be done. The director picked up a piece of scratch paper and wrote something on it and handed it to Tanya and they spoke. Tanya then explained to us that the director said that normally a "gift" is given to the orphanage. Tanya showed us the paper and on it was written "500." Tanya then said that the director said the normal amount was $500 PER CHILD, in American bills only. Mark said we needed to leave to go get that amount, and she said when we returned we should have it in an unmarked envelope and bring it directly to her office. She then insisted the scrap piece of paper be handed back to her and she tore it up. She told us the money would be used for "whatever it was needed for." We left feeling just about as sleazy and creepy as you might imagine. We returned a short time later with the envelope in my purse and went right to her office and handed it to her. We just bought two children for a thousand dollars. Yuck.

Unfortunately, that's the way things are here. There are other situations ahead in which we've been told we will pay fees to "expedite" the process. We don't mind paying extra to see that things are done as quickly as possible, but this situation with the orphanage director just felt very "under the table," as I'm sure it was. We doubt very seriously that that money will ever be used in ways to help the children. It feels dirty.

However, I'm sure Jesus felt dirty, too, as he went all the way to the cross to pay for our sins in order to bring us home. It was what had to be done at the time in order to bring salvation and new life and a promise of a new home in Heaven. So, again, if Jesus did what He did, we can do what we have to do here. We're just thankful that we have been so blessed that we have the money to give and that we are on the giving end and not on the receiving end. We have no guilt on our hands - we simply give this woman to God and pray that He will work on her heart and make choices to benefit the children and not herself.

We're just ready to be done with all of it and be on our way home with the girls. PLEASE pray about our day tomorrow, that God would bless it by allowing everything to go smoothly so we will have the girls with us by tomorrow evening. We love and thank all of you for your prayerful support. May God provide.

Love,
Dawn and Mark

New Life - Time to Leave the Orphanage!

2009-06-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

As promised, I want to share a few thoughts today about new life. New life awaits our girls, but new life awaits each one of us in Christ, as well. Our girls are having a little trouble saying good-by to the old life. But we know that the old life is death to them. They don't really have a future if they stay in the orphanage. So, why do all of us sometimes insist on "staying in the orphanage" of this life and our sinful natures?

We want to ask the girls - "Do you have any idea what's in store for you when you leave the orphanage and come with us?" Yet we can't really converse like that with them yet. Christ also asks us, "Do you know what I have in store for you if you only follow Me?" Jesus longs for us to know that we are CHOSEN by Him, and we only have to agree to follow. We want our girls to know they are CHOSEN and treasured and loved. We will do anything for them.

I just finished rereading C.S. Lewis's MERE CHRISTIANITY. I read it in college, but felt that this would be the perfect opportunity to read it again. I'm so glad I did, because Lewis's insights have been very helpful in trying to make sense of our time here in Ukraine. He's helped me to see the spiritual application around every corner. Lewis talks about the difference between Bios life (physical life) and Zoe life (spiritual life). Bios life is like living in the orphanage. You are merely existing, but it's comfortable because it's all you know. Zoe life is like going to America, with all the benefits available, and being taken into a family who loves you and will provide for you the rest of your life. Only Zoe life is when we are taken into the family of God (adopted) and He will provide for us, as His children, throughout eternity! So why would anyone choose otherwise? I know the girls will look back and wonder why they had any trouble leaving the orphanage.

Tanya told us today that our appointment at the court on Friday is set for 8:00 am! Yay! That is answered prayer! Thank you, God! Then the plan is to get right in the car and drive out to the village to get the birth certificates, and, if all goes well there, we'll drive from there into Donetsk to obtain the passports. If all goes well there, we'll drive back to Mariupol and go to the orphanage to have the official "turning over of the children." The orphanage director will need to be there, and Arkadi (the social worker), and Tanya, as our translator. Then we get the girls' suitcase and belongings and get them out of there! They will stay with us at the TLC over the weekend and then we'll take the train to Kiev on Monday. If all goes well, that is.

So we'd appreciate your prayers about all this. We are so ready for the waiting to be over. We are ready to get our girls and go home! (Please pray for our patience, as well!) I keep coming back to my favorite verses in the Bible - Jeremiah 29:11-14. These verses were written to those in exile from their homeland. They seem especially appropriate to us now.

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. And I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will give you fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.'"

These verses apply to Mark and me now in Ukraine - He will give us everything we need now, as we pray to Him, and He will return us to our home. They apply to our girls - a hope and a future is what they need. And they apply to each one of us who are truly orphans and need a loving Father to bring us back from exile and into His arms. As the words to a song I've heard says, "There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God." He loves us all so much!

New Life! It is a wonderful thing. But we all must choose to leave the orphanage. It's time.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

No Voice

2009-06-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

Mark and I find ourselves more and more frustrated by the "no voice" syndrome we are stuck in here. We are surrounded by people who converse with each other freely, yet we don't understand and can't reply on any sort of intelligent level. The housemoms and kids at the TLC have been kind and gracious, yet we aren't able to carry on much of a relationship beyond the surface. We would love to ask them more questions and share more of our thoughts, but it is not to be. The teachers and kids at the orphanage are the same way. We enjoy the interaction, but at most, it is very shallow. There are few English speakers anywhere. The only English speakers that we've had much of a conversation with are Tanya and her husband, Valari. Therefore, it was a wonderful treat that they invited us to their home last night to have dinner.

Val walked to the orphanage and met us at the front gate at about 5:30. We walked a few blocks to their apartment building. We took a small elevator to the 11th floor. There are three small apartments in their hallway. You go through heavy metal doors on concrete floors and come to the door to their apartment. Inside was small - really just 2 rooms, plus a kitchen and a bathroom, but very comfortable and nice. They have a view from the small balcony off their living room that looks over all of Mariupol and the sea. We enjoyed our dinner and our visit with them immensely. Valari is also an English teacher and speaks English quite well, as does Tanya. Their family lived in the U.S. for about 2 years as Tanya was pursuing additional education there. They have been back in Ukraine for the last 5 years and Tanya has been the director at the TLC for that entire time. Valari gives private English lessons, mostly to college students, in their home. It was such a blessing for us to be in their home and to carry on intelligent conversation with educated people! Wow! We didn't realize how much we had missed that. We are so grateful that they invited us.

Another "no voice" situation is occuring at the orphanage. There is a boy there who is probably 2 or maybe even 3 years older than Zhanna and Ella and has been with them the last couple of days we've been there. His name is Svet. Svet seems like a nice enough kid, but teases and plays around with Zhanna and Ella and then tickles them, and the girls laugh and giggle and pull away. Mark and I are having the hardest time handling this! It seems to cross the line of appropriate behavior with us, but we don't have a voice to say so at this point. Mark said today, "I'm 8 days their dad. If I were 10 days their dad I think I'd slap that boy and tell him to keep his hands off my girls!" The only thing we can do is try to divert the conversation and help them all change their focus to another direction. Today worked pretty well. I brought an American magazine I bought on the trip at the airport. We took a blanket outside and sat in the shade, and I looked at the pictures of clothes and food with the girls. We talked about the words in Russian and English. Svet went to go pick cherries from the old trees on the far side of the orphanage. That was fine until Ella got bored looking at the pictures and ran off to help Svet. When they got back we all visited for awhile, and then they wanted to get up and walk. The tickling started, so Mark and I tried to ask questions, etc. Finally, Ella asked if Mark could go get ice cream. She wanted to go, too! So, we pulled a sneaky and Ella walked to the store with Mark (they're not allowed to leave the grounds of the orphanage without permission)! I stayed behind with Zhanna and Svet and we sat in the shade and visited. That worked out okay, and we all enjoyed the ice cream treats when Mark and Ella got back. I think Ella felt empowered to be able to get out like that, and Mark felt good to be finally walking, as a parent would, with his child. But. . .when we left, Svet was still there with our girls! Aug-gh-gh-gh! Just a few more days, just a few more days!

The girls are obviously still torn about leaving the orphanage. They say they will miss it and all their friends. Many of the kids are leaving for camp on Friday, so we are planning a good-bye party for Thursday afternoon. We will buy juice and cookies and fruit and chips so they can all celebrate and say their good-byes. Our court hearing is Friday to finalize the adoption, but we're not sure yet if it will be morning or afternoon. We hope it will be in the morning so we can drive out once again to the village where the girls were born to obtain the new birth certificates. If we don't have the court hearing until Friday afternoon we'll have to wait until Monday to go to the village. Again, no choice, no voice.

We need prayers for all of this. We trust in God's perfect and impeccable timing, but it is so hard to face additional delays. We want to snatch the girls out of the orphanage environment TODAY and fly home tomorrow. However, we must wait until the proper procedures have been taken care of. After the birth certificates are obtained, then we must go to Donetsk to get the new passports. Only then can we travel back to Kiev. While we're there the girls must have medical tests at a hospital, then we go to the Ukrainian Embassy and then the American Embassy for visas. It will take a few days for all of that. So it looks like a week and half to two weeks more before we'll be flying home. We'll let you know as soon as we find out.

In this "no voice" situation, we find that we are learning about total submission. We are totally dependent on other people for everything. We must wait on the timing and on the paperwork and on the officials and on the beauraucracy. We can't communicate or understand or ask questions. But really we are totally dependent on God. We must only trust. We trust in the Lord and lean on Him and not on our own understanding. We commit our plans to Him and know we will succeed because of His great and perfect love for us and for Zhanna and Ella.

May God's wonderful treasures be revealed to you each and every day. It is not easy for us, as humans, to trust Him enough to put our lives totally in His care. But that's what Zhanna and Ella are doing in agreeing to be adopted and letting us take them to America. They've put their trust in us. Treasures and new life await them. God has treasures and new life waiting for us, too. I'll share more thoughts about that tomorrow.

Until then, Go with God. He is so good, all the time.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

New Shoes and New "Blues"

2009-06-08T12:23:00.001-07:00

I thank each of you for the comments about my "History of Ukraine" blog. The info. is a compilation of several books Mark and I have read this year. It certainly leaves much detail out, but hits the highlights of the long and tragic history of this young nation. We find it fascinating now because it is the history of our new daughters and their ancestors. We want to be able to share it with them as they get older.

Yesterday we had an interesting afternoon with Zhanna and Ella. We spent time together at church and then at the special "Sweet Table" fellowship I wrote about yesterday. Afterward, Tanya drove the four of us (along with Zhanna and Ella's friends from the orphanage, Julia, Yanna and Kristina) to Amstore. We were looking for new shoes for Zhanna and Ella. The orphanage has a shoe distribution at the beginning of summer, but Zhanna and Ella were not given new shoes because they are in the process of being adopted and will be going to America soon. I say "new shoes," but I'm not entirely sure any of the orphans get "new" shoes. As best we can tell they all just keep sharing and rotating shoes as their feet change sizes. Zhanna was wearing a pair of sneakers for the first two weeks we were here. All of a sudden, last Monday, when we went to court, she didn't have those sneakers anymore. The shoes she was wearing were much too small for her feet, and by the end of that long day of walking and running after buses, Zhanna's feel were blistered terribly. When we went to the bowling alley that day I noticed that another girl had on the very sneakers Zhanna had been wearing. The other girl (not even in Zhanna's living group) also had on a pair of shorts that we had sent Zhanna for her birthday in April. Zhanna had worn them a week prior to that. I don't know the system, but it seems that Zhanna and Ella were just labeled as "privileged" and their stuff was given to others. Wow!

Anyway, we are glad to buy Zhanna and Ella new shoes, and anything else they need. The other kids at the orphanage have so little, that we feel like Zhanna and Ella should just take the minimum amount of clothing required to get them home, and then we'll get new everything when we get there. It'll be fun. Zhanna's feet are healing now, and she and Ella seem to like their new sneakers.

After shopping, Tanya dropped us back at the orphanage. The girls wanted to show everyone their new shoes and then wanted to go play outside. We were happy to comply. It is very warm in Ukraine now, and the girls' living quarters are on the second floor. There is no air conditioning. They've taken down all the lace curtains at the windows to wash them, due to their spring cleaning efforts. In their place they've hung heavy woolen blankets. It's pretty much stifling upstairs. So, outside was great. There really isn't much in the way of playground equipment at the orphanage, but we found a small, broken down "merry go round" with 6individual wooden seats - 4 of which had been broken off. The metal bar remained on the other seats and the girls were gracious enough to give us the seats, while they sat on the bars. At least sitting there and spinning a little was kind of fun, but it wasn't long before everyone was complaining that they were thirsty. Mark asked them what they all wanted to drink, and said he would walk to the small store a couple of blocks away from the orphanage to get them something. Zhanna wanted Coca Cola, Ella wanted Sprite, Julia wanted Orange Fanta, and Kristina also wanted Sprite. What treats for these kids! So Mark walked all the way and back with big bottles of these drinks.

The girls seemed to appreciate the drinks at first, but then began to shake the bottles and then take the caps off to let them explode. We let it go by for a little bit and then told them no more "nyet!" At that point it was about time for Mark and me to get going and walk back to the TLC. We told the girls that. Zhanna wanted to go back upstairs to the living quarters, but Ella wanted to stay outside. We asked them if they wanted to walk us to the gate. We're not quite sure what happened at that point, but Ella and Zhanna began to argue. It wasn't pretty. Ella dug in her heals and closed up and got very stubborn. She wouldn't talk to us or look at us. Zhanna didn't help matters. She was calling Ella some kind of name. I think she was saying, "Frog," over and over, or something to that effect. Ella was responding back, but you could tell they weren't getting anywhere. We tried to say, "Come on, girls! Don't act like this! Be nice! Come walk us to the gate!" Ella all of a sudden shouted, "No!" We tried to respond lightly, by saying, "Come on, Ella Joy! Let's go!" Then Ella said, very bluntly, "No! Evelina Kravets!" That's her birth name. I think she was retaliating to Zhanna more than to us, but it hit Mark and me hard. At that point, I think we realized that this was something we couldn't deal with while the girls are still in the orphanage and all the other kids are around. The best thing for us to do was to just say, "Okay. We're going to go. It's okay if you don't want to walk us to the gate. We'll be back tomorrow." We hugged them both, as well as all the other kids and told them good-bye.

We talked about it on the way home, and realized that this may be the first of many scenes like that we will witness and have to deal with. We're prepared. Sibling animosity is normal, especially in times of stress and change. But what is hard is being parents on paper, yet not being fully parents in deed! Our hands are tied in so many ways, and besides that, language is also an issue. I do believe God will give us what we need in the way of language, but until we have some time with the girls alone, as a family, we can't really go deeper in addressing behavior, or just talking about feelings. We wanted to tell them, "Look girls, we had Tanya pick you up for church today, we bought you new shoes and bought drinks for you and all your friends. Is this the way you show you are grateful? Is this how you should behave? You know we love you very much, but we expect you to show kindness to each other and to be patient with each other." The time will come when we'll get to say those very things. For now, we just get through as best we can.

The interesting thing is, today when we arrived at the orphanage, the girls wanted to go outside for a water bottle fight. As we were walking downstairs, Zhanna turned to us and said, "Dawna, Marka . . . you know yesterday. . . me and Ella sorry!" Ella also turned to us and said, "Sorry!" Then they both hugged us! We assured them that we loved them and we understand and that we're thankful they apologized and said they were sorry. Today was a much better day! Praise God.

Isn't it the same sometimes with us and God? We sometimes get stubborn with God and dig our heals in about our own attitudes or behaviors. We don't always realize we're just hurting ourselves, and our loving Father is always there, simply waiting for us to say, "I'm sorry!" Then He can continue blessing us. But if we never acknowledge our sinful nature, God can get pretty tired of putting up with the nasty negativity we humans sometimes exhibit. Look at how He dealt with the Israelites. If they had simply acknowledged His love for them and shown gratitude and obedience, how different things would have been! Mark and I are seeing so many Biblical lessons coming to life right before our eyes. We are learning much from our Lord. We pray that we can be parents that can share God's love with our children, and that they in turn, will share it with their children.

We are counting down the days to Friday, when our next court date will be for finalizing the adoption. We're not sure what time that will be yet. Tanya is trying to get it scheduled in the morning so we can drive out to the village where the girls were born in the afternoon and get the new birth certificates. If we don't go to court until later in the day we won't be able to drive to the village until Monday. Please pray about that.

God's blessings on all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dawn and Mark

More History of Ukraine

2009-06-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

Sunday was good today. We enjoyed the assembly and then stayed for a special program this afternoon called their "Sweet Table." They moved the chairs back in their auditorium, and set up tables, and brought out plates of all different types of pastries, cookies and sweets, along with tea and water and juice "sok." Several people sang or played the guitar. They had the children sing a song, and Zhanna and Ella were among them. Then the gathering of people all played a game with clues of some sort wrapped into individual layers of an aluminum foil ball. We thought they had to answer a Bible trivia question and then pass the ball to someone else to peel off another layer, but we never figured out if that was truly it or not. At the end of the game and the concert, before the eating, everyone sang the song "Prayer for Ukraine." It brought tears to many eyes and people in the church were visibly moved. It is obvious that Christians here are prayerful that the heart of Ukraine will be changed more into the image of Christ.

It seems to Mark and me, that although the general population of Ukrainians tend to be somewhat cold and unfeeling, at least in business and on the street, that Christians are different. What a difference Christ makes! He opens doors and breaks down barriers. He brings truth and healing and removes distrust and lies and social ills. He thinks of others more highly than Himself. Yes, Ukraine needs more of Christ. America needs more of Christ. Every nation on earth needs more of Christ.

So, with that said, I will continue sharing a bit more about Ukraine's history. Thanks to Tim O'Hearn who left a message on the blog yesterday about additional historical information that I left out. What he added is quite interesting, so check out his message from yesterday. Thanks, Tim!

After the Revolution in 1917, all of Russia was in the hands of Lenin and the Bolsheviks. Ukraine made a bid for independence at that time, but couldn't keep peace long enough to establish a workable government. It wasn't long before the short-lived nation of Ukraine erupted in civil war. The Germans soon advanced in an attempt to capture Kiev. The Bolsheviks approached from the north, and the Poles did their best to hang on. According to different estimates, Kiev changed hands between 14 and 18 times in the years between 1917 and 1920. Hundreds of thousands were killed, many of Jewish ethnicity. Six separate armies ravaged the country, each with confused notions about its ultimate aim. It was said that "Ukraine was a country easy to conquer but almost impossible to rule."

Finally, in 1920, Ukraine was conquered decisively by the Bolsheviks and returned to Russian hands. At first all Ukrainians were expected to release all belongings and food to the Red Army. Out of protest, the peasants stopped planting. An accompanying drought led to a devastating famine, where hundreds of thousands MORE died in Ukraine. Lenin realized his tactics were backfiring, and established a policy of "korenizatsiya" (making roots), where the Ukrainian culture and language were accepted and encouraged. For the first time, educational opportunities were made available in Ukraine. More people learned to read then in Ukraine than any other time in history. However, the books available always featured the Communist party and smiling Red Army soldiers. By the time Lenin died in 1924, collectivism was ebbing and foreign investment was encouraged. Capitalism could have made headway into Ukraine and Russia, if it weren't for Stalin and his policies.

Stalin became the leader of Russia through treachery and was eager to make changes. In 1928 he introduced his "five-year plan" called the "revolution from above." This was a series of gigantic industrial goals for the cities and a collectivism plan for the farm and agricultural industry. The plan was extended another 5 years following the first plan. It all turned into disaster for the peasants and workers in the factories. Living conditions were terrible and discipline severe. Everyone was pushed to the limits. The Soviet state believed it would buy grain cheaply from the peasants, feed the people in the cities and sell the surplus grain for profit. The peasants refused to sell their grain so cheaply and began to hoard it. Hoarding drove up the market price even higher. Stalin reacted severly. During 1929 - 1930 hundreds of thousand of Ukrainian peasants were packed into freight trains, shipped to the frozen tundra of Siberia and ordered to settle the land. Most died of cold and starvation. Stalin then called for even higher grain quotas and sent in military generals to supervise the seizure. Hired gangs went from farm to farm, tearing up floorboards and torturing peasants in search of hidden grain. Another drought in 1931 killed the remainder of the failing crops. After two years of grain requisitioning, most of Ukraine's food supply had been confiscated and the countryside was left to starve. Peasants ate rats, bark, leaves, dirt, and one another. Whole villages died together. The famine of 1932 -33 was the ultimate tragedy for the Ukrainian nation. It is believed that 3 - 6 million Ukrainians starved to death in this "artificial famine," and yet it went unnoticed in the West and much of the Soviet Union. The 1930's also brought with it a new regime of terror directed toward the educated. Scientists, church leaders, writers, editors, historians and musicians disappeared. The Stalinist terror introduced a paranoia that kept people in line for the remainder of the Soviet Union's existence.

The Nazi attack on the USSR in June 1941 took Stalin by surpise. Resistance in Ukraine was futile. In western Ukraine, fascism sounded better than Stalinism. The German soldiers were perceived as liberators and given a hero's welcome in some towns. Kiev was captured in September 1941, and soon after the whole country was occupied by Nazi forces. Knowing the advantage of raw materials in Ukraine, Stalin called for a scorched-earth policy as the Red Army retreated. All political prisoners were shot, electricity plants destroyed, factories blown up and mines flooded. The three-year Nazi occupation of Ukraine was brutal and exploited the land and the people. The collective farms of Ukraine were now feeding the Third Reich, and the Germans had a particular interest in such a fertile land. A common anecdote tells of train loads of rich Ukrainian topsoil being shipped to Germany. Two million Ukrainians were also exported to Germany as forced labor. There were approximately one and a half million Jews in Ukraine prior to the war. Days after the Nazi invasion, the calculated killing of Jews commenced. The majority of Ukraine's Jews were not sent to concentration camps, but were collected, shot and buried in mass graves. By 1943 the Soviet Army had returned to Ukraine. At the war's end, it was estimated that one out of every six citizens in Ukraine had been killed. The conference at the end of the war held in Yalta in 1945 in the Ukrainian held Crimea was an historical occasion.

United in anger toward the Germans, Stalin was able to direct the people's emotions towards rebuilding a wrecked country. Hundreds of war memorials still stand as symbols of overcoming one form of oppression in Ukraine. Frenzied activity ensued. What had been destroyed had to be rebuilt quickly. Millions of Russians moved south to Ukraine, mostly to work in the factories. Cities exploded with growth. Stalin died in 1953 and Nikita Khrushchev became the leader of the Communist Party. Khrushchev was from Ukraine, even though he was Russian by birth. In 1954, the Communist party issued '13 theses' that spelled out the everlasting union of the Ukrainians and the Russians. As a gift, Khruschev annexed Crimea to Ukraine. (Some say he was drunk at the time!)

Khrushchev gained popularity when he denounced Stalin and introduced the "thaw" - a period of relaxed censorship and general freedom. The standard of living improved. The cookie-cutter concrete slab apartment buildings seen all over Ukraine are Khrushchev's doing. They were nicknamed "khrushchoby." (Khrushchev's name along with the word for slum!) They may be ugly, but they allowed housing for the entire Soviet population to be available in a very short time. Khruschev periodically relaxed his grip and tightened the reins on Soviet society throughout his time as leader. Breshnev came into power after Krushchev died, but he was old and ill during his time. Two others, Chernenko and Andropov, came into power after Breshnev, but they also were old and ill. These last ten years of Soviet rule in Ukraine were full of decline and stagnation.

In 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev, a young reformer, claimed the highest seat in the Communist Party. He held a firm belief in the superiority of socialism, but also had resolve to transform the problems in the Soviet Union. "Glasnost" (openness) and "perestoika" (reconstruction) opened up the economy and helped to reform the political structure.

On April 26, 1986, the Chernobyl nuclear plant north of Kiev exploded. The government was reluctant to let news of the accident escape. After nearly a week, news of the disaster reached the people who were in greatest danger. Hundreds died from the first heavy doses of radiation, but countless people contracted chronic ailments and thousands of children were born deformed in the months following the accident. The power plant was a Soviet plant, but was located in Ukraine, and Ukrainians realized they would be the ones to suffer for the Soviet ineptness. This event added much fuel to a growing fire of resentment toward the Soviet Union's control of Ukraine.

Nationalist sentiment grew more vocal as people tested their boldness under the freedom of glasnost. In the summer of 1988 thousands gathered on several occasions in Lviv and Kiev with a variety of protests, but mostly for independence. All over the Soviet Union, people were now speaking their minds, and the message was freedom. Gorbachev had never intended for things to go this far, and tried frantically to hold to union together. In September, 1989 the Ukrainian nationalist party, Rukh, was founded in opposition to the Communist Party in Ukraine. In 1990, democratic elections were permitted for the first time. The Supreme Soviet, or Verkhovna Rada in Ukrainian, would be open to non-communist parties. More protests took place within the next year, and then a great snowball effect took place, when in August, 1991, the entire Soviet Union was declared in a state of emergency. A coup tried to declare Gorbachev a traitor and sought to put the Communist party back on track. The Ukrainian communists could either comply and fall under a supposed new dictatorship, or support the "democrats" in the party and split the Soviet Union. On August 24, 1991 a vote resulted in an almost unanimous decision. Ukraine was declared an independent nation!

The first years of independence were horribly difficult. Inflation skyrocked. Paper money was printed out, but became invalid almost before it came into use. People continued to go to work, but received no salaries. The shops were either empty or closed, and food and clothing could only be bought on the streets. Growing one's own food became more important than ever. Winters were the hardest, with heat and electricity rationed. Russia threatened to shut off Ukraine's gas supply if the country could not pay its bill. Organized crime ran business enterprises and corruption was the norm at all levels of government.

For a short while, there were some fears that Ukraine would split right down the middle. Ukrainians in the west were speaking Ukrainian and feeling very European. Those in the east were Russian speaking and longed nostalgically for the convenience of the Soviet Union. Slowly, Ukrainian culture and heritage began to be taught in schools and a greater feeling of united national pride began to evolve.

By 2004 a presidential election was underway between a pro-communist candidate and one whose views were more democratic in nature. The democratic candidate, Viktor Yuschenko, was the favored candidate, but was poisoned in an attempted suicide just two months before the vote. He survived, but due to widespread election fraud, the other candidate was declared the original winner in November, 2004. By the next day, many of Yuschenko's "Our Ukraine" supporters had gathered at Independance Square in Kiev to protest the vote. They wore orange clothing and carried orange banners as a form of protest. Over the next few days, up to one million people gathered in Kiev and succeeded in shutting down the city. The people brought tents and refused to leave until the Ukraine Supreme Court intervened and declared a date for a new election. The protesters continued their vigil in Kiev, and all over Ukraine, with the rallying cry, "razom nas bohato" meaning "together we are many." The second vote took place on December 26, 2004 and Viktor Yuschenko was declared the winner. The Orange Revolution, as it came to be called, represented a watershed moment for Ukraine, delivering a huge boost of confidence and self-determination to the Ukrainian people. In a country where oppression, corruption, fraud and violence had become the norm, a true show of people power had fought for change and succeeded against all odds. The Ukrainian people had begun to see their own future much more positively than they had before.

Ukraine continues to evolve and change and grow. It is still only a teenager (18 years old), so it still struggles with some issues due to immaturity. But it is on the brink of adulthood, as well, and is doing its best to use the resources available to provide for its people and its future. Ukraine is a nation with roots in the land and in a fighting spirit. The people are just now beginning to understand where they've come from and how strong they really are. No wonder the Christian people all have tears in their eyes as they sing the song, "Prayer for Ukraine."

"Merciful God, we pray for the people,
Merciful God, we pray for Ukraine.
Save us from sin and forgive,
Your grace to the people reveal.
Merciful God I know that you'll take me
Into your Glorious Heavenly temple.
You gave us joy, peace from above.
You died for the people you love.
Put their names to the Book of Life."

Please pray for Ukraine. Please pray for us. We send love to all.
Dawn and Mark

Ukrainian History

2009-06-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today marks the halfway point in our 10 day waiting period. It's all downhill from here! Mark and I walked through the market again today. It was very busy today and all the stalls were open, I guess because it is Saturday. The most amazing variety of clothing and food and other goods is represented at the market, and the individual stalls must provide a good additional source of income for many people. After walking through the market, we walked down to the sea again. Today was a day when everyone in town must have been out there on the beach, either swimming or sunbathing. Apparently, that's the place to be on a summer Saturday in Mariupol, Ukraine.

Our afternoon at the orphanage with the girls was just simple and sweet. We bought about 20 peaches while we were at the market to take to Zhanna and Ella's group. The peaches were sweet and juicy and delicious and all the kids seemed to enjoy them very much. I don't think they get good fruit very often, so they really appreciate it. We also bought little friendship necklaces at the market for Zhanna and Ella to give to all their friends. They all smiled and put them on immediately and came and told us "thank you" "spaseba." I think Zhanna and Ella love to give gifts (as do most Ukrainian people). They asked us if they could buy something tomorrow to give to their teachers. We told them of course they could. We're also planning on buying the girls new shoes tomorrow. Zhanna had on a pair the other day that were much too small and gave her blisters. They need good shoes before we travel. So we'll look forward to church and "shopping" "magazen" tomorrow "da zaftra"!

So, as promised, I'm going to use today's blog to give a brief history of this very old and very new country called Ukraine. First of all, Ukraine is not Russia. If people have heard of Ukraine at all they may refer to it as "The Ukraine." That terminalogy was used during the Soviet era and before, to designate this particular part of the U.S.S.R. However, today it is innappropriate to include "The" because Ukraine is now an independent nation (although Russia may keep its eyes on Ukraine because of the rich natural resources and industry and tourism that are coming to the forefront).

The Bradt Travel Guide, "Ukraine" by Andrew Evans, shares this information: "Ukraine is NOT Russia, just like Canada is not the USA, and Scotland is not England. Ukraine is too often defined by the shadow of its hefty neighbor. The last (18) years represent Ukraine's longest recognised independence in history, atributed by many to keeping Russia at bay in the post-Soviet era. In Ukraine, attitudes towards Russia range from friendly association to deep animosity, although most families have relations on both sides of the border."

Since 1991 Ukraine has been independent and is doing its best to rebuild after 50 years of Soviet control and wars and invasions and poverty before that. Now Ukrainians are working hard to embrace everything that sets them apart from Russia. Ukrainians will tell you that Russian civilization was actually founded in Kiev, and that the Ukrainian language is an older and more sophisticated language than Russian (although both languages are used throughout the country). Ukrainians like to consider their homeland to be inhabited by the more spirited and unconventional of the Slavs.

The earliest known inhabitants in what is Ukraine today can be dated back to about 750 BC. These were the Scythians, and we know from Greek history that these were bloodthirsty nomads. The story is they were warriors descended from Hercules. The Scythians were conquered by the Sarmatians from Persia (Iran) in about 250 BC. Even though the Sarmatians were from Persia they were supposedly more Slavic in appearance with blond hair. They wore padded trousers and leather boots. Their women were skilled in horseback riding and warfare. Some historians claim these women were the inspiration for the famed Amazon warriors feared by the Greeks.

By the 6th century AD eastern Slavic people had moved in to what is now Ukraine, Belarus and Russia. This group of people had beliefs and everyday tasks that centered on their relationship with the natural world. They were known for their skills in agriculture and cattle-raising on the plains, as well as fishing in the rivers and seas. They hunted game and collected honey in the forests. In a land that was relatively flat, the eastern Slavs used available hilltops to build protective fortresses. Legend tells us that Kiev started as just such a fort-city in AD 560. It was founded by three brothers and a sister. The brothers, Kii, Shchek, and Koriv are often depicted as rowing gently onwards as their sister, Lybed, is standing at the helm of a Viking longboat.

By the 9th century, the Germanic Varangians sought an alternate route to Constantinople in order to access the extravagant goods of the Bysantine Empire. Rus civilization officially began with the reign of the Varangian princes over the regions' trading posts. Kiev was "rediscovered." Oleh, a Varangian prince in 860 killed off his competition and became the first prince of what eventually became the empire of Kievan Rus. A treaty was signed with Byantium that allowed trade between the two empires.

In 972 a feud ensued between three grandsons of Oleh. Volodymyr went into hiding to escape being murdered by his older brother, but eventually returned with a Viking army who wiped out the competition and allowed him to rule. Volodymyr wanted to civilize Kievan Rus and make it a secure and stable empire. He chose not to attack other nations or empires, but rather worked to establish order within his own nation.

As the story goes, the Byzantine emperor was indebted to Volodymyer for putting an end to a rebellion. As a reward, the emperor offered his daughter in marriage, provided Volodymyr would convert to Christianity. Anxious to enlarge his sphere of influence, Volodymyr accepted. So, in 988, Volodymyr returned to Kiev with his new bride and insisted that all the people of Kiev be baptised in the Dniper River. The river's waters were blessed by Byzantine priests while Volodymyr watched from the bank. In this way, all of Kievan Rus was baptized and made Christian. The pagan statues were torn down and Volodymyr dedicated one tenth of the state revenue to the Church and its clergy. The Eastern Orthodox form of Christianity was already well established in Constantinople, so that's the form of Christianity that made its way to Kievan Rus.

Things continued moderately well until 1240, when Batu Khan, the grandson of Genghis Khan swept downward with his Mongol Horde and decimated Kiev. They stayed in Ukrainian land for less than a century, but enslaved the people during their reign.

In the next several centuries land went back and forth as the Mongols were defeated by the Lithuanians, and then the Poles gained control. By the 16th century, Ukraine was a no-man's land. It was called "dike polye" or "wild field." Ottoman Turks and Crimean Tatars (descendents of the Mongols) came at least yearly on slave-collecting sprees, robbing the settlers and wrecking farms. A new brand of fighter emerged, dedicated to protecting his crops, family and land from continuous invasions. These men became talented horseriders and disciplined warriors, earning a reputation in Ukrainian folklore. They gave the country its national costume and many of its folk songs and dances. These were the Cossacks. "Cossack" is the Turkish word for "freeman." The Cossacks fought for freedom and for liberty for over 100 years, in spite of continued attacks and hardship.

In 1686 Poland and Russia signed an agreement of "Eternal Peace" which split the land right down the middle. Kiev and all lands east of the Dniper river went to Russia, while Poland ruled the west. The Russian Empire was now ruled by Catherine, the Great, (who, by the way had only married the Russian prince and then found herself ruling. She didn't even speak Russian!). Catherine had a desire to expand the Russian Empire to become the largest in the world. "Malorossiya" (Little Russia) was divided into nine provinces, each ruled by a tzar-appointed governor. It was a harsh regime. Millions of serfs were owned, bought and sold by their landowners. Russian tzar after tzar came to power, but it seems that each one become stricter and more brutal in attempts to control the huge populace of what was the Russian Empire. Serfdom was abolished in 1861, but the change did not ease the peasants' life. They were not free to leave their village without specially issued passports. Land was distributed for their use, but they had to buy it from the government which forced the peasants into debt. Even the introduction of industrialization in the late 1800's didn't help the plight of the common man. Structures were put into place that held the common worker down, and elevated aristocracy.

The ideas of Marxism spread quickly in this environment after his books were introduced in the 1870's. Within 20 years, revolutionary enthusiasm was everywhere, but there was not one clear stream of thought or action. In 1881 one group assassinated Russian Tsar Alexander II. In 1903, the Revolutionary Ukrainian Party was founded and led the way for the Ukrainian nationalist political movement. Tzar Nicholas II became alarmed by these movements, and sent violent forces to put down any uprisings that threatened, or seemingly threatened, the empire. Blamed for the rise of revolutionary activity, the Jews suffered the bloodiest of pogroms in Ukraine, particularly in Odessa.

In 1905 a peaceful protest of factory workers in St.Petersburg ended when hundreds were gunned down by the tzar's troops. In Ukraine, people led strikes that shut down the major cities. The peasants became more bold and began to steal things from the rich landowners. The rising fury led to the tzar reluctantly issuing the vote to all Russian men in 1905 and calling for the establishment of an elected parliament. By 1917, the revolution had risen to such a frenzy that Tzar Nicholas, his wife, Alexandria and his four children, Olga, Maria, Tatiana, Anastasia and Prince Alexander, were captured and eventually executed in the spring of 1918. Lenin became the Bolshevik leader of Russia and is immortalized today all over Russia and former Russian lands (including Ukraine) with statues in nearly every town. Within days of the revolution, the nationalist movement in Ukraine had mobilized. The Rada was established, modeled after the Cossack's self-governing assembly. The Rada demanded recognition of Ukraine's independence. However, because of conflicts between ethnic Russians and others in the land, the provisional government granted to Ukraine collapsed within a few months and it was absorbed back into Russia.

This blog is getting too long for one day, so I think I should quit here for now and continue on tomorrow or the next day. We've got a few more slow days before the pace picks up, so I shall start next time at Ukraine in World War I.

Thank you for prayers and for your support of us in this breakneck speed/ slow as molasses journey. We love you!
In Christ,
Dawn and Mark

Limbo Land

2009-06-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

It's another day in limbo land in the great country of Ukraine! We are counting down the days until the girls are legally ours. Six more days! Six more days! Six more days!

In the meantime, every day is much like the day before. We get up, we dress, we go upstairs and eat our breakfast of tea and bread and cheese or sometimes cereal. We do whatever chores we need to do at the TLC, and then we try to think of something to do with our time until we can go to the orphanage in the afternoon. Today we stayed and read, and then walked through the marketplace on the way to the orphanage. We arrived just as the children were going to eat their lunch. (It was about 2:00, but remember in Ukraine, the meals are all scheduled differently than they are in the U.S.).

When the girls got back from lunch, they wanted us to play a game on the computer with them. There is one computer in their living quarters. It is not hooked up to the internet, but the kids play games on it. We played a game called "Chuzzle." It didn't take much skill, so it was fun for Mark and me to play with the girls while they helped us. It was just the 4 of us for awhile, and we enjoyed that. Then we hung out in their room, and looked at pictures. They told us they have both already packed their suitcase with everything they are taking to America! Mark asked if they are taking stuffed animals. Zhanna opened the suitcase and pulled out about 10 small stuffed animals they are bringing. We had fun playing with them for awhile. Then the four of us joined the other children who were watching a movie. Again, it's interesting for us to watch movies we've seen in English with voice-overs in Russian. We can hear the English being spoken quietly underneath, then we hear the Russian voice speaking. I wonder how Zhanna and Ella will feel watching movies where the lips match the voice? It may be a new experience for them!

Zhanna and Ella continue to be very affectionate and loving with me and it is getting to be very relaxed and easy for all of us to be together. We are learning the nuances of their personalities and of their facial expressions. Ella has the cutest little raised eyebrow when she's teasing, and Zhanna furrows her brow and purses her lips when she's frustrated at Ella or is doing something to aggravate her sister. They are both smiling more and more and Mark and I love those smiles.

This evening Mark and I had another interesting experience in the contrast between old and new in modern Ukraine. Tanya and her husband, Valari, took us to a new modern store that has only opened on the far side of Mariupol last December. It is called Metro, and it is a bulk membership store like Costco or Sam's Club. We really enjoyed walking through the big aisles and seeing all the selections, much like back home. They have more American products here, but still mostly Ukrainian products. You still have to have your fruit and vegetables weighed for you, however!

On our drive home, we passed the huge steel mills that offer the most industry and employment opportunities here in Mariupol. They are old, ugly monstrosities, located right in the middle of town, because the town has grown all around them. There are three steel mills located here, and the oldest was built over 100 years ago, before the Bolshevik (or Russian) Revolution of 1917. These mills have smoke stacks that are blackened and rusted with age, and they send plumes of grey smoke into the air. No wonder the sea smells bad. Tanya said that the people in Mariupol must be very strong, because they have grown up breathing that air, so they must be able to withstand anything!

Ukraine is both a very old country, and a very new country. The people here are tough, alright. The old ones, especially, have lived through so much history, just in their lifetimes. But the history of Ukraine is a fascinating one that has centered on a struggle for independence for several hundred years. Tomorrow I will try to give a brief history of Ukraine, for all who are interested. Unless, of course, we have exciting and wonderful breaking news! But, chances are, we'll just be counting down on our halfway mark toward day 10 of this waiting period. So, until tomorrow, it's another day in limbo land.

Good-bye, and "Dasveedanyia"
Love,
Dawna and Marka

Daily Life

2009-06-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

This morning, Mark and I did our laundry. (Boy, it is a slow news day if I'm talking about laundry!) The TLC has two washing machines. HOWEVER, appliances in Ukraine are generally much smaller than ours in America. The washing machines and the oven/stoves that we have seen are about half the size of those we have in America. In addition, the wording for the settings for cycles is in Russian. The temperature settings available are in Celsius, not in Farenheit. It took us awhile to figure it all out and get the clothes washed. There is no dryer, so we brought the clothes down to our room and hung them on the bedrails and on the radiator pipes that run the length of the room. There is no closet in our room and no hangers, and I haven't seen any hangers or clothing racks for sale in the stores. I don't think the orphanage has a washing machine. I think the kids all wash their clothing by hand in tubs in the shower, and hang them on cords strung across the living area.

As fashion conscious as this culture is, it is also curious to me how there is not much available in the way of clothing upkeep and care. We've also noticed that many people wear clothing over and over. Although food is quite inexpensive, clothing is as expensive as it is in the U.S., or more so. Therefore, people will save and buy really special clothing, but then wear it again and again. In many ways, it makes much more sense than buying the closet full of clothes that most of us own, and then only wearing things once or twice a season. We also usually wash things after one or two wearings back home. The Ukrainians only wash clothes when absolutely necessary and have no trouble wearing something, letting it air out a day or two, or overnight, and wearing it again and then again. Just interesting differences.

It was also cleaning day at the orphanage when we arrived this afternoon. There are old linoleum floors with ripples in them in the living quarters. There are large, heavy rugs covering most of that linoleum. I guess it is spring cleaning time, now that school is out, because the teachers had the kids rolling up all those rugs and carrying them downstairs with an old fashioned rugbeater. They hang those rugs over the delapidated metal playground structures and beat the dirt out of them. Meanwhile, others were sweeping and scrubbing and sorting through drawers and closets upstairs. It was a day of activity.

All the girls were able to take a break this afternoon when we arrived. They had Mark poke holes into the lids or the bottoms of empty water bottles they had been saving, and filled them with water. Then we all went outside and they had a splendid water fight. They kept going back inside to reload and then came out again to reattack. They were drenched by the time they had had enough. I thought it was so neat to see them having such "kid fun," in such a creative way. Kids in America think they have to have the biggest "super soaker," or the newest toy to make them happy or allow them to have fun. But these kids don't have much at all, and yet they invent their own fun.

After we all went in and the girls changed we just spent time playing funny games and looking at pictures on the camera. Zhanna was pretending to be a cat and she wanted me to be the "Mama" cat. She put her cheek next to mine and we both purred, then she kissed my cheek and I kissed hers, and she kissed my cheek, and I kissed hers. She giggled and giggled and wanted to do it again and again. Mark said he can tell that both girls are hungry for the affection of a real mom. The other kids look on when Zhanna and Ella are hugging and kissing me, and I detect a hint of longing in their faces. We try to smile and interact with them, and give them attention and hugs, too. I think they enjoy that, but it is obviously not the same. All kids need love!

Tonight we went back to the TLC a little earlier. The kids and adults there have been so wonderful to us - cooking for us every night and cleaning up after us. We wanted to do something fun and different for them in order to express our gratitude, so we decided we would take them all out to dinner! We had made arrangements with Tanya so no one would cook tonight, and we all walked down to the cafeteria at the Amstore and we let them get anything they wanted to eat and drink. Afterward, we bought everyone a gelato ice cream cone in the flavor of their choice. I think they enjoyed it, and we had a ball doing this for them. They are really a great group of teenagers - good natured and fun loving. Many of these kids grew up at the orphanage together (some were there 10 years or more). Now they are older and have been accepted at the TLC as they finish school and prepare for a future. They've been very kind to us and have included us as family, in spite of the language barrier. They rarely get out as a group, and they always cook at home and clean, so we hope the evening out was a treat. Food is so cheap here, that it was nothing for us, but I hope it was special for them.

So, I guess today, we just experienced the simple pleasures and common procedures of family life in Ukraine. Some differences, but truly, people are people all over the world. We have the same hopes, fears, needs and dreams. Everyone needs love and acceptance and home and family. Whether a person realizes it or not, we all need Jesus.

Through Him,
Bye for now, "Pakah!"
Dawn and Mark

Another Day

2009-06-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Today was a lovely spring day in Ukraine. Mark and I took a walk this morning and breathed in the scent of roses and peonies and acacia trees in bloom. The fragrances are heavenly! We also felt like we were back in New Mexico, because, believe it or not, they have Cottonwood trees here, and the cotton was flying everywhere, just like back home!

The teenagers at the TLC are enjoying the warm weather, too. Many of them are out of school now, so they go to the sea everyday to swim. They told us the water doesn't smell very good in the sea, because of the factories here in town. I'm sure there is a lot of pollution in the water. The housemoms said that when the kids swim in the sea some of them get sores on their skin. Yuck! But it doesn't seem to bother the kids! They love it!

Now that the weather is warmer, you can see many of the Ukrainian women in their spring garments. Or I should say, you can see more of the Ukrainian women than you would like to, in spite of their garments. There are many beautiful women here, and fashion is a big part of the focus for some of them. High heels are also worn by middle aged and young women much of the time, whether they are working or just walking to the store. It doesn't quite add up - wearing high heels on the cracked and broken sidewalks seems like a dangerous thing to do!

I read a joke recently from one of our books, that is reputedly something that is said in Ukraine. It goes like this: The definition of Heaven is a Ukrainian wife, an English house, an American bank account, and Chinese food. The definition of Hell is an American wife, a Chinese house, a Ukrainian bank account, and English food! I don't know about all this, but the joke is funny!

This afternoon we walked to the orphanage again ("Groundhog Day"!). The girls' group was upstairs. Tanya was there having an English lesson with Zhanna and Ella and Julia. It was fun to watch them interact and answer questions in English. After that they were only interested in watching movies and "chillin' out." I think all the kids are glad to be experiencing some down time after the busyness of last week and the end of school. Zhanna and Ella seem to be especially in need of that now.

We just relaxed with them all afternoon and watched a "Rynetky" concert video with Zhanna and Ella and the rest of the girls. We liked the group very much. They are a neat band with five pretty young women muscians. They have a huge following of preteen and teen girls in Russia and Ukraine, and probably other former Soviet countries. The music is lots of fun, and I'm glad we got to see the video, so we can talk about it more with the girls.

We also talked to the girls about what clothes they will be taking with them, and helped them find a suitcase to use from the storeroom that holds winter clothes, suitcases and other odd items like that. We told the girls not to worry about taking too many clothes. They'll only need the things they like the most right now and that fit well. We can buy more clothes when we get home, and we'll need to buy school uniforms, too. All the other clothes can be left at the orphanage for the other children. They were agreeable to that.

We left sweetly this evening, about 6:00 and told them we'd be back tomorrow (and the next day, and the next . . . for the rest of our lives!).

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me!
He answers prayer. He answers prayer. He answers prayer. He's so good to me!
I love him so. I love him so. I love him so. He's so good to me!

Good-night! "Spakoinanoiche!"
Love,
Dawn and Mark

Peace

2009-06-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

After the excitement and energy of yesterday, this was a much quieter day (thankfully!). Mark and I went to the orphanage this afternoon about 1:00 and learned that Zhanna was going on another field trip with about half of the group to the University, to see the art museum. Ella was going to stay with some of the other kids and a caregiver at the orphanage.

It turned out to be a sweet afternoon. Ella asked me to go play dolls with her and some of the other girls. We had the best time playing with the odd assortment of dolls. We made up names and pretended to feed them and put them to sleep, etc. Then the girls brushed the dolls' hair and even painted their fingernails! That led to me brushing and French-braiding Ella's hair. She liked that.

Then we all went to another room to watch movies with some of the kids. The movies were American-made with voice-overs. We watched a movie where Morgan Freeman was speaking Russian! It was great! While we were watching the movie, Ella, who was sitting next to me, leaned over and laid her head on my shoulder. I loved it.

Zhanna and the other group arrived home late in the afternoon, so we didn't have as much time with her today, but we still got to see her. Mark bought the girls a CD of their favorite Ukrainian "girl group" today - Rynetky. They were thrilled. Ella was listening with headphones when we said good-bye.

We are finding that we never know what the next day may hold, and yet in some ways, it's like the days keep repeating themselves redundantly over and over - much like the movie, "Groundhog Day." We can't communicate with the orphanage. We must just go along with whatever is planned there for the day, and try to fit in time with the girls as best we can. Even though we are the official parents of the girls at this time, they still live at the orphanage. They aren't legally ours yet, and truly, they are not quite ready to be. They still need this time with friends and with the structure and security they know there. They honestly have no idea what we have done for them up to this point to be able to adopt them. They have no idea what the future will look like for them, and don't know what we'd like to do for them and how we want to provide for them and bless them. They can't see beyond the familiar of life at the orphanage.

As Mark and I walked home today, we had time to consider all this and ruminate on the spiritual correlations. There was Another who entered an incredibly foreign world in which he was considered a stranger. He had no home. He lived among the people as best He could, sharing grace and peace. He couldn't tell His children what He had done for them, or how much He wanted to bless them or the future He had planned for them. They wouldn't understand. All they knew was what they could see. He tried to explain to them, but to them His words were a foreign language. He was willing to do ANYTHING to bring them Home, because He loved them that much. Jesus spent 33 years on Earth. I guess we can spend 33 days in Ukraine.

Thank you for your prayers. God is good. We are at peace. By the way, we understand that the adoption moritorium vote by the Ukrainian Parliament has been pushed back to an indefinite date. The way things go here, it may never be voted on, or it may suddenly be brought up again any day. You never know. We'll let you know if we hear anything. In the meantime, please continue to pray for orphans everywhere, and families attempting to adopt.

May the peace of the Lord be upon you!
Dawn and Mark

Praise God!

2009-06-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yippee! After almost 10 months of painful delivery and incredibly wrenching beauracracy and paperwork challenges, we gave birth to two beautiful, bouncing daughters today! Welcome to a new world, Zhanna Hope McKenzie and Ella Joy McKenzie! May you belong to the Lord.

Our day in court went very well. "Spaseba Bog!" "Thank God!" We arrived with Tanya and Arkadi, the social worker, about 10:00. The girls arrived with a representative from the orphanage a bit later. Then we all waited and waited and waited. Our hearing was scheduled for 10:00. The female judge didn't actually show up until almost 11:00 (Ukrainian time, you know!). Then we went through about an hour of grilling. The girls were required to sit away from us. The judge read the entire case from our paperwork, with Tanya translating to Mark and me as quietly and quickly as she could. Then Mark was required to stand, state his full name, birthdate, and address, and was asked many questions by the judge. Those questions included information about salary, our home, his job, his intentions as a father, how we plan to educate them, and even if we plan to change the girls' religion. He answered that one well, "No, we just intend to show them the love of God."

I thought once they had asked all those questions of Mark that I wouldn't need to talk, but wrong! I was also required to stand and give the standard information, then the judge asked me questions about my job, about how we met the girls, about our other children, and a question about why we chose to adopt children from Ukraine, rather than Russia, or any other place. I simply said, "Because we met these two girls last year and fell in love with them. We were not even planning on adopting before, but our other kids are older now and we still have love and energy to give. God brought them to us."

The girls were then each required to stand and the judge asked them if they consented to the adoption. They both said, "Yes!" The judge asked if they were certain, and they said, "yes." Then Mark and I each required to stand again and make a statement about what we wanted from the court. We were told to say that we petitioned the court for adoption of Zhanna and Ella, that we wanted to change their names, and that we wanted to become their parents. After that there was some more formal procedure and reading to be done. This was information about Zhanna and Ella's background and the fact that their birthparents' rights were taken away and they were brought to the orphanage in Mariupol in 2005 and since then no relatives had ever visited them or attempted to make any contact with them. Also, no Ukrainian citizens had shown any interest in adopting them. That part was really sad. We wondered how the girls were feeling through all of that. Then all of us, except the judge and the officials of the court, were required to step outside for about 5 minutes. When we reentered and took our places, it was declared to be in the best interest of the girls that we become their parents and it was a done deal! It was official about noon, Ukraine time. We took some pictures and said our thank-you's and good-byes, and Mark and I became new parents to two pre-teen girls! Hallelujah!

We wanted to celebrate somehow, but God already had a day of celebration planned for us. Unbeknownst to us, June 1st just happens to be International Child Protection Day! Therefore, the kids from the orphanage had been invited to a day of fun activities. Tanya drove us to the bowling alley all the way across town so that Zhanna and Ella could join the group. She then left us with the girls so she could go back to work.

The remainder of the day was a crazy, confusing kaleidescope of contrasts between the old and the new in what is uniquely Ukraine! On the way to the bowling alley we passed street sweepers. I'm not talking about motor vehicles with big brushes. I'm talking about women with head scarves tied in the back and baggy blue pants and orange vests, sweeping the edges of the streets next to the curb with the old fashioned Ukrainian twig brooms. Then we arrived at the bowling alley, and it was more modern and cleaner than any I have been to in America!

After the bowling alley, the children were divided into different groups of about 20 children, plus teachers. We, of course, tagged along with Zhanna and Ella's group. We walked down the road a ways, then crossed a busy street and waited for a city bus. When you ride a bus in Ukraine, you can bet that most of the time, you won't be seated. There are many people that ride the buses and the buses aren't very large. They cram people in like sardines. So here we are, getting on the already crowded bus with 20 kids, plus adults. It's a wonder we didn't lose one of the children today. But we managed to squeeze in, bump along, and hang on to our next destination. After the short bus ride and a somewhat longer walk, we ended up at a pretty large cafe where they had planned tea and a program for the kids.

By this time it was already after 2:00. Mark and I hadn't eaten much for breakfast because of the nervousness about the court hearing. The kids were all seated around tables that were laden with wonderful pastries and candies. They were served hot tea and cold tea and unflavored soda water (which they love here, because they hardly ever drink sugared soft drinks). Mark and I were told to go sit in the corner and wait for them. We tried to be polite and smile at the children as they were eating and being served, but I guess they could see us salivating profusely, so some of the girls finally took pity on us and brought us a napkin filled with pastries and sweets. We greedily consumed them all over in our dark corner!

After the tea we all walked BACK to the bus stop, crossed an extremely busy street, almost lost a couple of kids under the tires of a truck or two, but it was okay. Then we waited at that bus stop trying to get on every bus that passed by, but no joke, there was not an inch of room in any bus. We have NEVER seen them so crowded. In Ukraine, people may get in at the middle door or the back door to the bus (there is no front door). Once you are on, there is a woman inside who collects the fares from each passenger. I don't know how they train these women, but they must implant some sort of infrared sensors into their eyeballs, because they can spot new bodies in a crush of humanity that defies description. One bus was already packed and we saw a man get on, barely squeeze in, and was still partially hanging outside with the door open, as the bus took off. Somebody needs to tell the Ukrainian Transportation Department that there has to be a better way!

Obviously, we weren't going to get 20 kids on any of these buses, even if they do have small bodies. So, it was decided that we ride the tram system back to the central bus loading area, try to get a bus that was initially less crowded and then ride all the way home. The tram system is not what we think of as riding up the mountain in Albuquerque. It is also a type of bus system that runs on railroad-type tracks with cables overhead. The tracks run down the middle of some of the streets. The tram buses are larger than the regular buses. But the tram buses are even older than the other buses. So even though we are not driving over all the potholes in the streets, we are bouncing and bumping as we "ride the rails."

We made it to the central loading point, and bus after bus came by, but as soon as it pulled up, people crushed inside, filled it up, and we couldn't get the kids on. Finally, one of the women leading our group went to talk to the bus driver in one of the waiting buses and made arrangements for our group to load first. Praise God. We all got in and everyone had a seat, even though several of us were sitting 3 or 4 to a seat, rather than two. Then the bus pulled to the regular loading area, and picked up the other passengers. One man got on very loud, and I think probably drunk, and started yelling at our kids. I think he was upset because they got on first and took all the room. The lady fare taker told him something like, "Come on, they are kids from the orpanage!" Thankfully he left, but many other people got on. I think the buses were only designed to hold maybe 30 or 40 at most, even with people standing. But I wouldn't be surprised if there were almost 100 people on that bus by the time we got to our stop, which was a l-l-l-o-o-o-n-n-n-g-g-g-g way. It took about half an hour to get there and it was a warm and humid day. Many people in Ukraine don't wear deoderant. We had 20 sweaty, little kids in the bus all around us. Need I say more? We were glad to get out of there! I don't know how people do that every day. One thing I think Zhanna and Ella will notice right away is the ease in which we live our lives. It is so easy for us to travel from one place to another. Our road systems and public transportation systems are easy and comfortable and comparatively clean and modern. We have SO MUCH to be thankful for.

We got everyone back to the orphanage in one piece and as the kids went to go get a snack, Mark and I said a prayer together for God's blessings on the day. Then we spent a little more relaxed time with Zhanna and Ella. We looked at some books together. Ella was looking at a book about animals, and I was saying the English names and she was repeating. Then we saw pictures of the animal families, and she and Zhanna would name them, "The whole McKenzie family - Mark, Dawn, Nathan, Annie, Zhanna, Ella." Then they would giggle. It was precious. We said good-bye to our "novi divichki" our "new daughters," with the promise we would see them tomorrow "da zaftra."

Tonight at the TLC they had a celebratory meal. We have no idea if it was planned, or a coincidence. No one said anything about it, but we ate a great dinner of a large meatball in tomato sauce with barley and cabbage slaw and bread. Then we had dessert! Pastries, and "marozhena" "ice cream!" We enjoyed these gifts from God very much.

Tonight we are full - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. God has given us so much. We are happy. Please pray for the vote tomorrow by the Ukrainian parliament on the adoption law. Please pray for all the other families waiting to adopt, and for orphans here and around the world who need a family. Please pray that our next 10 days here will go quickly as we wait out this time until the adoption is totally legal, and then please pray that the remainder of this adventure will all be in God's hands and in God's timing so that we can be home as soon as possible. Thank you, God. "Spaseba Bog."

Thank you so much again, to all who have prayed on our behalf. We have felt your love flowing around us. Your support has kept us going. We couldn't have done this without you.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

Sweet Sunday

2009-05-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

It was a sweet Sunday in Ukraine. I felt much better this morning and Mark and I woke up looking forward to being with our dear friends, Valya, Luda and Vika at church. We also looked forward to spending most of the day with the girls.

Church was pleasant this morning. Vika translated for us part of the time, and that was very helpful. It is amazing how much more you can stay engaged when you understand what's going on! The Sunday church experience here lasts the better part of the day. There is Bible class time, and then the sermon/worship/communion time. At the beginning of the worship time people stand and give testimonials about God's blessings "Slava Bog!" "Praise God!" At the end people stand and request prayers for specific needs (today we heard our names as the prayer was led for these requests. That made us feel covered by God in at least two languages!). The whole process takes about 3 hours. Then afterward everyone stays around and shares a simple meal of soup and bread together. They visit until well in the afternoon. The children play. The teenagers hang out. Then everyone goes home to rest for the remainder of the day.

Valya and her mom and Vika had to leave to catch their train before it was all over. It was hard to say good-bye to them. We didn't have enough time with them, but it was sweet, all the same. We appreciated them coming so much, and it was a blessing just to see them and hug them and be with them. They mean so much to us.

After church we stayed and visited for awhile while the girls played and Tanya took care of some other matters she had to deal with. While we were waiting we were trying to converse with some of the church ladies. We were failing miserably. We finally just had to say, "Yani pini myo" "I don't understand." Even that I think I messed up somehow, because one of the ladies repeated it and they all laughed! I don't think they meant to be rude, but I hope I didn't say anything bizarre! One of the girls from the TLC named Natasha came over and heard the entire conversation. Natasha is a beautiful blond girl, but has a funny, spitfire personality. She walked over, put her arms around Mark and my shoulders and said, (in the accent you would only imagine anyone named Natasha would use), "Mar-r-rka, Dawna, R-r-r-russian, Please!!!" Then she smiled. We keep trying to tell her that we're doing the best we can! But this will all help us to be much more sensitive when the roles are reversed somehow in the future.

When Tanya was ready, she, and Mark and I, and Zhanna and Ella, and Julia all drove to Amstore. There is a clothing store inside Amstore, and we promised to take the girls shopping. They were hesitant at first, but as we started looking at the tops and jeans they warmed up to the idea, and pretty soon we sent them all to the dressing rooms. We bought Zhanna and Ella two new outfits each and Julia a new outfit, too. Zhanna and Ella said they will wear their new clothes to the court tomorrow. We also shopped at the regular part of the Amstore for presents for their friends - all the other girls in their group. We bought things for Yana, and Kristina, and Vala, and Katrina, and Masha. I think our girls enjoyed the "big box" shopping experience very much.

We also ate at the cafe located inside Amstore. It is a small cafeteria style restaurant with ample seating. It is clean and light and airy with trays to carry your food and trash cans to throw away your trash. But they served great Ukrainian food - different selections of salad and cooked foods and the Verengy dumplings, and some good rolled up things that looked like large egg rolls, but they weren't fried and were served with sour cream. These were filled with your choice of sauteed mushrooms, or a meat filling, or apples, or potatoes. Mark was in heaven! So many choices! So much food! We all got what we wanted and Mark and I tried some new things, such as a cooked beet, carrot, pea and pickle salad, and a dish with egg plant and carrots (I know, sounds bad - but they were actually delicious!). We got the mushroom stuffed "rollup," and of course, some good Ukrainian pastry. Yu-u-u-m-m-m! (In English) "Kusna!" ("Tasty" in Russian) What did the girls get? Sandwiches and french fries! Already American!

After a great afternoon, Tanya drove us and the girls back to the orphanage. I couldn't help but notice the difference between where we had just been in the light, modern, airy Amstore, and the dark, drab, broken and crumbling orphanage. I don't know if the girls notice it or not, since it's all they know. The conditions at the orphanage aren't horrible. The children seem well-adjusted and happy. The teachers and attendants at the orphanage seem to have genuine concern for the kids. They are cared for, and their living conditions are acceptable. The kids are all very clean, in spite of meager facilities. It is just an institutional setting, without modern services, and not nearly enough money to repair the cracked cement floors, the broken windows, the peeling wallpaper and the chipped plaster walls. I guess it could be a whole lot worse, but it could be a whole lot better.

We spent some sweet time with Zhanna and Ella in their room as they gave their friends the gifts and as they held up their new clothes and looked over other things we bought. We looked at photo albums together, and then I found their English workbook that Tanya has been using to teach them. Ella and I started reading through it together, and pretty soon Zhanna came in. The two of them started fighting over who would speak first and whose legs were kicking the other, etc.,etc.,etc. I finally had to have one of them sit on one side of me and the other on the other side and take turns reading. Then it worked beautifully! We read through the entire book. They are doing a great job reading English. Their pronunciation is very cute, but we had to work on the "th" sound. They want to say "z." But I'm encouraged that they have the basics of reading English down. Now they will have to work hard on becoming more fluent and being able to read, not only for pronunciation, but for comprehension. It will come, with time.

Tomorrow is the big day at court. We understand that it will take about an hour, and the girls are not allowed to arrive with us, so someone from the orphanage will bring them. We are pretty confident that after today, Ella is fine, and ready to be our daughter. Annie sent many pictures on email of our home and our family and extended family on both sides, and we had a chance to let Zhanna and Ella see those today, as well. They were very interested. We tried to explain, as best we could, what their new life will be like. After our court date tomorrow, Zhanna and Ella will become Zhanna Hope McKenzie and Ella Joy McKenzie and their faces will forever have a place in our family photo albums. "Slava Bog!" "Praise God!"

Prayers and Blessings to all,
Dawn and Mark

Interesting Day

2009-05-30T10:47:00.000-07:00

Today started out kind of rough. I wasn't feeling well. I had stomach problems and a headache. I couldn't go to the program at the orphanage this morning, but Mark went and videotaped most of it. He was able to spend time with the girls and enjoyed that.

After about two more hours of sleep and some medicine, I was feeling well enough to get up and get going, although still feeling pretty washed out. Mark came back to the TLC at about noon, and Tanya drove us back to the orphanage after 1:00 in order to meet Valya, her mom, Luda, and Vika.

What a sweet treat to be with all of them. We love these ladies. We knew Valya and Vika because they were translators for us at camp Yestrebok last year. We had never met Valya's mom before, but she is a beautiful woman, and so kind, just like her daughter. Valya and Vika have been helping us for a year to proceed with this adoption. They were the initial encouragers and communicators. Since last summer, they have made several trips to the orphanage in Mariupol (6 hours by train from Valya's home in Dnipropetrovsk). They have been a bridge between us and the girls and have also loved and encouraged the other orphans. They have brought gifts and held parties. They are simply angels. We will always consider them family.

After we had exchanged gifts and visited for awhile we were informed that Zhanna and Ella and Julia and another boy named Nicolai were going to be traveling to a large park in town to perform in a concert. News to us, but we were happy to get to go along. One of the administrators of the orphanage led the way, and Mark and I and Vika, Valya, Luda, Zhanna, Ella, Julia, Nicolai, and two other girls, Kristina and Yana went along. We took a lengthy bus ride (always an interesting experience in Ukraine), and then walked a ways to the park. When we arrived we were told the concert would begin within a half an hour, but it didn't begin until about an hour later (Ukrainian time!).

But once the concert began we thoroughly enjoyed it. We are getting used to Ukrainian music. It is really fun to listen to. Our girls and Julia sang two songs, Nicolai sang one, and then there was one large group of performers, dressed in Ukrainian style clothing, who sang several songs. There were also several indiviual singers, as well as one young lady who did a "butterfly" belly dance with the coolest silver cape that she spread out like wings. The concert was held on an open air stage with benches for the audience. It was pleasant weather and there were many families with children strolling around.

After the concert we had to take the long bus ride and walk back to the orphange, and then Mark and I walked back to the TLC. I hadn't had anything to eat all day because I was afraid to put anything on my stomach, but was feeing well enough to eat the rice and chicken that was served for supper. It tasted very good.

Ella seemed tired today, (and understandably so). They performed this morning, and again this afternoon. They really haven't had any down time at all. But she did seem very affectionate to us and held Mark's hand as we were walking. Zhanna is just overflowing with affection. She puts her arm around me and kisses me on the lips. She told me today that Julia said that I am a "cool" mom. (Okay, Nathan and Annie! There you go! I've been trying to tell you for years that I am a cool mom!)

Tomorrow Tanya is going to pick up Valya and her mom and Vika and Zhanna and Ella and Julia for church. We told Zhanna and Ella and Julia that we would take them out to eat for lunch and then go shopping and get some ice cream. I hope that will help them to relax and feel good about going to America and about the court hearing on Monday.

Thanks so much to all who have sent encouraging emails or messages on the blog. It means so much. Your words are from God and give us comfort and peace. Please pray for Valya and Luda and Vika as they travel back home tomorrow. Please pray for our court hearing on Monday, and please pray for the vote by the Ukrainian parliament about the moratorium on adoptions on Tuesday. May God be in it all.

Much love and blessings,
Dawn and Mark

A Bit of a Concern

2009-05-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

This morning Tanya received a phone call from Zhanna. Zhanna said that Ella said she didn't want to go to America afterall. Whoa! What happened?

Obviously, we were all concerned. Tanya called Vanya and relayed the message to him. He was very reassurring and told us that this sometimes happens with the older kids. He told us not to lose heart, but to go to the orphanage as normal today and try to talk to her and find out what's going on.

When we arrived we were told that Zhanna and Ella were having a party with their group and we were to wait in the teacher's room. We waited for quite awhile and then they arrived with their friend, Julia. Julia has been to the U.S. several times and is about to be adopted, so she knows English pretty well. Ella came and gave me a hug, but was quiet and non-communicative. One of her teachers came in right after that and said something in Russian that we couldn't understand, and Ella left. This teacher tried to explain something to us, but we didn't understand at all, so Zhanna just told her that we didn't understand (or that we were extremely handicapped, or something to that effect?!).

We spent some time with just Zhanna, and Julia translating. We told Zhanna that we loved her and Ella so much and we want to give them a good home and a good family in America. But we can't take one without the other. That Ella had to decide to come to America, too, or we wouldn't be able to take Zhanna, either. We shed some tears, and Zhanna was so sweet. She just wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder.

Then all the children were called outside to practice for tomorrow morning's program. We enjoyed watching them practice. Zhanna and Ella and Julia sing a beautiful song together.

After the practice the girls came over to us and Ella immediately put her arm around me and held on. I hugged her and kissed her. Zhanna and Ella and their friends said they wanted to go up to their "group," or their living area. On the way through the dark hallways of the orphanage Ella held my hand. I asked her directly, "Ella, do you want to go to America?" She answered, "Yeah." I said, "Are you sure?" She said, "Yes." I hugged her and told her that I was SO happy. It brought Mark to tears.

The best we can figure about all this is that it has been a long week for the girls. It's the last week of school, and they've had the end of all their classes and tests. Then they've been practicing everyday for this performance. Plus, we've been coming every afternoon to hang out and play with them. Maybe Ella was just feeling a lot of stress about it all. Maybe some of her friends were trying to convince her not to leave. Perhaps she's just a little fearful of the unknown and leaving all her friends here. She did ask if they could sing and dance in America, and if we could come back to visit Ukraine. We assured her that yes, singing and dancing is allowed in America, and we will make every effort to come back to Ukraine.

After that, we spent a great couple of hours with the girls in their living area. They turned their favorite music up real loud and we all danced and got "crazy!" They had some balloons, so we kicked the balloons around like soccer. The girls confiscated our camera and video camera and took lots of pictures of their friends and their living area and bedrooms in the orphanage. I think it will mean a lot to them to have all those pictures later. Ella really relaxed and opened up. Several times she came over to show us pictures or to hug us. She wanted me to follow her into her room to see everything. She seemed happy and content.

We hope and pray that this was just an isolated event, and a fleeting emotional feeling. We do know that both girls will have to be certain of their decision by Monday when we go to court and meet with the judge. Please pray for Ella.

We did have a chance to reflect through all of this how it is the same with some people who have had every opportunity to come to know God and His hand of blessings and His plans for them, and yet they reject Him. It is so sad that some would not be willing to experience the love and peace and joy and hope that await them, but instead would continue to live life as they've come to know it, without understanding what they are giving up. We need to pray for people all over the world to understand how God longs to adopt each of us and how He longs to bless us beyond what we can see and imagine in this life.

We are walking by FAITH and not by SIGHT in this entire journey. May God be glorified. Tomorrow will be a good day, with the program in the morning and then Valya and Viki coming in the afternoon. We look forward to that.

Blessings and peace from God the Father, to all at home.
All our love,
Dawna and Marka (How they prounounce our names here in Ukraine!)

Reflections

2009-05-29T02:28:00.000-07:00

This posting is a day late. Last night as I was working on my blog during a rain storm the electricity suddenly went out. I lost what I was working on. Bummer!

It was quite dark in the basement where we live at the TLC and the only light we had was the light from the cell phone. Mark and I took turns pressing the button on the cell phone to keep the light going as we brushed our teeth and got ready for bed. Once we got under the covers, voila! The lights came back on! By that time I didn't feel like typing anymore and besides that I didn't know Tanya's password to restart her computer.

This morning it has been a rainy and gray day. It is chilly outside, so it is a good morning for me to catch up on the computer. Tanya came and restarted it, and she is gone for the day, so here I am!

Yesterday was a gorgeous, sunny day and Mark and I walked to a beautiful Orthodox church that is not far from the orphanage. This is a more modern church than those in Kiev, but is ornate and huge all the same. It is built out of red brick and is a beautiful architectural style, with the traditional gold-topped, onion-shaped domes of most of the Eastern Orthodox churches here and in Russia. The church has elaborately carved wooden doorways and the lower section of the building is covered with polished brown marble, rather than brick. The church stands on a tall hill overlooking the sea, and at the back of the church stands a huge statue with arms outstretched. The statue is carved with traditional Eastern Orthodox clergy type clothing, so we were pretty certain it was a representation of some sainted person, rather than of Christ. The railing behind the statue is a wonderful place to look at both the sea and then back at the church. The view was spectacular!

Down below the hill are homes and gardens and a more rural neighborhood. It was fun to watch the people and the cars down below. We could see people wading in the sea, and we could also see ships far out in the distance. The Sea of Azov is a very small sea compared to all the others, but to us "inland, mountain people" it looks like an ocean. The temperate wind was soothing and the sun was shining on our faces.

The grounds around the church are lovely. There are so many flowers in bloom here now. The iris are still blooming (although they are starting to fade a bit now), but the peonies are just coming on. They smell heavenly! The pink peonies smell like roses. There were also aspen trees growing in church grounds, and blue spruce and other evergreens. There were small ground-cover flowers and mounds of 5 feet tall bushes with long branches covered in white flowers. I don't know what those are called. All through the town we see apricot trees bearing small, green apricots, and apple trees and lots of vegetables beginning to come up in people's small garden plots.

The Ukrainian people are intimately tied to the land and to agriculture. Vyacheslav Lypinsky, the Ukrainian historian and socialolgist, noted that, "love for one's land is the primary dynamic force for the Ukrainian." We've read that a quarter of the world's best, black soil, "chornozem" is in Ukraine. No wonder agriculture is so important here.

The small houses that we pass each day demonstrate that love for gardening and love for the land. According to one book we have read, Ukrainians say, "The "dacha" (garden) is not a hobby, it's a way of life."

And yet again, there is a disparity here in Ukraine between the love of the land and nature, and the Soviet mentality and new European way of life. We pass by all the small, lovingly cared for garden plots and there is trash thrown all along the way. We walk around liquor bottles and broken glass and numerous pieces of paper trash and wrappers and cigarette butts littering sidewalks and streets. To us this mentality seems as if it stems from the Soviet era when all the high rise apartments were built. The removal from the land and the lack of energy for making a difference in your own life or the lives of others is reflected in the lack of respect for your environment for yourself or others. It's a shame.

Well, I will close for now and write more this evening about the girls and how things are going. We will head out to the orphanage soon to see Zhanna and Ella. Tomorrow is their last day of school performance, so we look forward to seeing that in the morning. Our dear friends, Valya and Viki, and Valya's mom, Luda, are coming by train tomorrow and will arrive in the afternoon. We can't wait to see them and spend time with them.

So for now, "Pakah!" Bye!
Love,
Dawn and Mark

Waiting

2009-05-27T09:14:00.000-07:00

Today was a day of waiting. And waiting. And waiting. It seems that now that we are in the midst of this process there will be a lot of that.

We waited at home today (the TLC) until about 1:30, when we walked to the orphanage to meet Tanya and the girls there. We all drove to the photo store for the girls to quickly have their photos made for their passports. It didn't take more than 10 minutes. Then we drove back to the orphanage.

Tanya had planned to have an English lesson with the girls but they were called to go to singing practice to prepare for the end of the school year program on Saturday. We were told to just wait for them in the teacher's room. Unfortunately, the teacher's room was being used by the teachers, who were obviously in the throes of the last week of school grading angst. (I'd recognize it in any language!) Mark and I pulled a couple of chairs out into the hallway so as not to disturb the teachers working, and we sat there for about two hours. We kept thinking the girls would be done practicing and would arrive any moment, but they never came and they never came.

Finally, the assistant director of the orphanage, who had observed us sitting there for quite some time, came and asked us in Russian where our girls were. We answered as best we could that they were in singing practice. So this woman assistant director promptly took matters into her own hands and motioned for us to follow her down to the music practice room. When we got there she went inside, but motioned for us to stay outside. Even through the closed door we could hear passionate and loud Russian conversation (it all sounds passionate and loud!). After a minute or two she came out and motioned for us to enter and have a seat on a bench. The girls ran through their song one more time, but I think by that time they figured they had had enough singing practice, and they were ready to go outside to throw the Frisbees! The singing teacher agreed that they could go, so out we went.

We did spend an hour and a half or so playing outside. We just enjoy being together, playing with the Frisbees and taking pictures. If other kids come along and look interested in the game we invite them to play, too. It's been fun.

We've seen most of the kids we met last year at camp Yestrebok in Svetegorsk. We've had fun hugging and playing with most of them. Both Slavics and Sergeis have seen us. They all come and hang all over Mark whenever they see him. They are so impressed with his muscles! We've played Frisbee with Vadeem and Vitya and Alona and Kristina and Anya and Sasha. We love all these kids a lot.

However, as much as we care for all the other orphans and will pray for them always, there is definately a different feeling for Zhanna and Ella. It's amazing that we feel the way we do after just having met them last year. We have talked about how we'd be feeling about adopting any of the others. While we long to help them, we don't feel the same about them as we do about our girls. It's love, and it's from God. Mark said it would be comparable to deciding to marry someone because you think you can help them, or deciding to marry someone for love. Deciding to marry just to try to help someone is really not for the right reasons.

Now, I'm sure there are wonderful people who have adopted children to help them and then have grown to love them, but we're thankful that God has given us the love experience at the first. It is beautiful, and helps us to know, without a doubt, this is the right thing to do. We have no doubts.

In the meantime, each day holds its share of waiting. We are trying to be patient and calm and approach each day as it comes. But we know that even the days we sit, our girls know we are there for them. Playing Frisbee with Zhanna and Ella and all the other kids is exactly where we should be for today - showing the love of God to orphans, and letting them know they are not alone. Our homesickness and desire to be done with the process and heading home is just a small piece of our lives, and we will be home soon. So we take each day as it comes.

Please continue to pray for our court hearing on Monday, June 1. If all goes well (and we expect that it will) the girls will be ours on Monday! Then we wait 10 more days and the adoption will be finalized.

Please also be praying for the decision by the Ukrainian parliament to be voted on Tuesday, June 2, whether or not to place a moratorium on foreign adoptions. There are hundreds of thousands of kids in the orphanages in Ukraine. They need the opportunity to be loved by a real family and taken to a real home. The moratorium would hurt a lot of children. Please pray.

We love and miss you all. May God bless you and us.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

Cleaning Day

2009-05-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings the teenagers at the TLC clean. Everyone has a job or two to do and it all looks great afterward. They've been cleaning up after us, so Mark and I decided to get a jump on them and clean our own room and bathroom this morning. It didn't take us long.

Afterward, we walked to the Amstore to buy some colored pencils and paper for the girls so we could draw with them this afternoon. We also bought some snacks and other things we needed. The Amstore is a fun place to just browse. It is a huge store compared to all the other little corner markets. There is a section for appliances and housewares, and a section for clothes, in addition to all the food. But even though it is a huge store you still shop in the Ukrainian way. The vegetables and fruits are all piled high and you bag them yourself, but then you take them to a lady behind a desk and she weighs the bag and puts a label on it. If you don't do that before you check out you're in trouble and you won't be able to buy the produce! There is also a section with rows and rows of all different types of sausages hanging from hooks about 6 feet from the floor in a refrigerated dairy case. The milk is not refrigerated until after you open it, and it comes in a small box. The yogurt comes in a squishy pouch and so does the mayonnaise. You have to know what you're looking for! There are 4 aisles for alcoholic beverages - only 1 aisle for meat!

The Amstore has great parking, too. Much like an American parking lot. There isn't much parking anywhere else in town. People that do have cars usually just park anywhere along the curb of the streets and they sometimes even drive up onto the sidewalk and park there! Many people ride the buses, even though they are old. You can hear the rumble of the buses coming along way down the streets. (Of course, it's hard to tell if that's due to the age of the buses or the number of potholes in the street!)

This afternoon Tanya drove us to the orphanage because she had to do some business on our behalf there, too. We took a huge bag of suckers and a big tub of bubble gum we had brought with us from America. We gave those to Zhanna and Ella's teacher, Oksana. Later we saw kids blowing huge "bolshoi" bubbles which sometimes popped all over their faces. They enjoyed it.

Zhanna and Ella had a busy afternoon. They had singing practice at first to prepare for the end of the year program which will be held on Saturday morning. Then they had to go be fitted for new shoes in a small, little room down a dark corridor of the orphanage. We got to go with them to both of these locations. We finally got to go outside for a while and throw the Frisbees. Another group of children were outside throwing paper airplanes with their teacher, but of course, when they saw the Frisbees, they had to join in, too. We had fun with a huge group sending Frisbees flying "round robin" style. Then it began to rain so we went indoors and up to the teacher room. We let them draw and I drew a picture of each of the girls. They liked that and then they colored the pictures beautifully and artistically, complete with shading, etc. They are truly very artistically and musically gifted girls. I can't wait till we get home and see them and Annie together. They will have so much fun doing all those things they all three love.

Tomorrow we need to go with Tanya to take the girls to have their pictures made for the passports. That will be a fun outing. We don't know where we'll be going, but just to get out will be a nice change.

We've been here at the TLC for one week now, and it is good. We are starting to feel like family now, even though we struggle with the language. But the kids and the housemoms and Tanya take good care of us. For example, tonight, as we were lingering at the dinner table, a couple of the girls came downstairs and cleaned our bathroom. I didn't have the heart to tell them I just cleaned it this morning. They are so great to us!

It looks like we'll be here at the TLC at least 2 more weeks, and then several more days in Kiev. So, possibly 3 weeks from now we'll be coming home. It's hard not to get anxious. We are enjoying ourselves in one regard, but feel displaced and a bit lonely at the same time. People all around us speak a different language than we do. We are foreigners. We've decided that this is a microcosmic look at our lives on Earth. "This world is not my home!" We are not to anticipate or complain, just take it as it comes and try to share Jesus along the way. There is a purpose for each day. If we look ahead too much we become anxious. If we look back too much we become melancholy. We must live in the moment in order to experience the joy God has planned just for this day. So, with God's help, that's what we will do. We will continue to live this adventure and know that it is God's plan for us that it all be carried out in exactly this way. We will joyously spend time each and everyday getting to know Zhanna and Ella better and better until the time comes to bring them home as our daughters. Praise God!

Thank you for your wonderful prayers. The peace of God is upon us. We pray for you, too.

Much love,
Dawn and Mark

The Sea

2009-05-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

This morning we left the TLC about 10:00 and were determined to find our way to the Sea of Azov, after our disastrous first attempt last week. We made it! The route was great - down a steep tree-lined walkway that ended up on a sandy beach with benches and the cutest (albeit old) little "changing" boxes that you could enter to change into your swimming suit. I think I'd still feel very uncomfortable doing that because your feet and your head are still showing, and everyone knows what you're doing, but I guess people here don't care. Mark and I sat on a bench and soaked up the sun when it came out from behind the clouds. The sea was soothing with the waves coming up over the sand and seagulls flying overhead. The water was not very clear and was greyish in color, but we saw people wading out far, so I guess it wasn't too cold or too dirty. We enjoyed our time there.

As we left the Sea we were a bit hungry and still had quite a bit of time before we promised the girls we'd be at the orphanage, so we stopped at a cafe located just on the other side of the road from the beach. We asked for a menu, but even looking at the pictures didn't help us much. We decided we would just ask for Borscht (beet soup) and Verengya (the dumplings we love so much). The waitress said "Nyet" to the Borscht, but they did have "kartoushka verengya" - potato dumplings, so that's what we ordered. They were delicious, drenched in melted butter, with bread on the side. We also had Coca-cola, which was a treat and was fun because it came in bottles with Russian words on it, except for the words Coca-cola! The entire meal cost only $25 Hrivna (greevna), which is the equivalent of about $3.50 in American dollars. We'd pay more than that for the two cokes back home!

Food here is very inexpensive. Other items are comparable in price to items in America, but food is inexpensive. We went shopping with Tanya last week and bought an overflowing basket of food to last a week here at the TLC, and the whole thing cost about $900 Hrivna, which is only about $135 dollars. Nothing when you consider that that feeds about 17 people for an entire week. They eat a lot of cabbage here and other vegetables, such as radishes, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, and potatoes. They eat very little meat, so when it is served it's a treat. They eat barley and macaroni as side dishes. Meals are served on small plates already dished out for you. There are normally no seconds, but bread is always served along with the meal. It's a simpler, but probably much healthier way of eating.

Before we went to the sea this morning we made a small detour to walk through the open market in the town. There are small, metal booths that can be locked shut at night, but opened during the daytime. These held the most unbelievable variety of goods. There was a booth that held all kitchen utensils, and another that had toys, another had electronics and cell phones (very popular here). There were booths that held plumbing parapernilia and booths with auto supplies. Then there were tables set up under a canopy and along the outer edge of the booths where the vegetable and produce venders hawked their goods. There were mounds of cabbages and potatoes and eggs stacked precariously into perfect pyramids. Someone was selling "Salo" which is a traditional delicacy in Ukraine. Basically it is pig fat which they spread on bread. We don't intend to try that! We also passed one old "Babushka" selling hog snouts and ears. I'm afraid to ask what people use those for! It is an interesting mixture of goods and people and everyone who is anyone is there, carrying their own bags to cart the stuff home. It is a different way of life than ours in America.

Our walk to the orphanage each day reminds us of those differences, too. We pass by many older, square Ukrainian homes with steep roofs covered in metal sheeting. These were probably built in the 1920's or '30's. The nicest of these have been painted within the last 10 years or so, and have well-kept and tidy, little miniscule gardens behind the fence or in the space of ground between the broken and uneven sidewalk and the street. Surrounding these small houses on all sides are towering and decaying high rise apartment buildings that were probably built in the 1940's or 50's during the Soviet era. Most people own their own apartment, and we've been told they are very expensive, and pretty small. There are a few newer brick homes that have been built along the way, but they are wedged in among the older homes. They have probably replaced an older home that was torn down. Many people are out walking and carrying bags, no matter what time it is. That is the way of life here. Not too many people own cars.

Alcoholism is also a problem here. There are liquor stores or booths every block or two, and it is not uncommon to see people carrying an open beer bottle or other alcoholic beverage with them as they walk down the street, no matter the time of day. We haven't seen any public drunkeness yet, however, so they must reserve that for at home.

This afternoon we arrived at the orphanage at about 2:00 and spent another sweet four hours with our girls and some friends. The Frisbees are very popular and we just made our own fun. When we told them we needed to leave soon they kept saying, "No, stay till 6:00 or 7:00 or 12:00 or until the morning!" We told them it wouldn't be long till we could be together all the time.

We received a phone call from Vanya today and he informed us that he submitted our paperwork to the SDA in Kiev today, but learned that the vote to pronounce a moratorium on foreign adoptions would be held on Tuesday, June 2, the day after our court date. It probably won't affect us, but he asked that we spread the word and ask for prayers on behalf of all the orphans in Ukraine and on behalf of all the families trying to adopt. This law would really hurt the children.

I've given too much information today. I'm sorry I'm such a "wordy" writer. It is fun to share our experiences and observations about life here. We feel God's presence strongly each and every day. It is hard to be patient, but we see that it truly is a necessary part of this process. Thank you for your prayers.

Much Love,
Dawn and Mark

Sunday in Ukraine

2009-05-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

I am writing this after 9:30 pm Ukraine time when it's only about 12:30 (after noon) back home. We are nine hours ahead. I know everyone at Riverside is just getting out of church and I wonder how it went today. We've been praying for all our friends and loved ones back home.

Our Sunday here went well. Tanya picked up the girls for church this morning, and we were really looking forward to sitting with them. But as it turns out, they do things differently here. The children are in a separate class from the adults and in a separate worship service until the very end when they come to the auditorium, but sit in a special "children's" section during the communion. So we didn't really get to be with them during church at all, and we were a little disappointed. But we were thankful they were there. They said they liked it. I guess we'll have to wait until we're back at Riverside to all attend church together as a family!

The people at the church were very welcoming and friendly and we enjoyed being with them, even though it is difficult for us because of the language. The preacher, Alexander (nicknamed Sasha), seems to be a very good speaker. He is animated and passionate, and interacts with the audience (kind of reminded me of Mark!). I wish I could understand more of the lesson, but I picked up words here and there, and could understand when he gave a Bible reference, so I would turn to that and read for awhile. Mark said he was able to get a lot of the main idea, so it wasn't too bad for him. The words, "Slova Gospadah" were used a lot. This means "The word of the Lord." I got that every time! They played some really neat Russian accapella Christian music before class and in between class and assembly. Mark was visiting with the man who was running the sound system, and told him he liked the music, so the man made him a copy of the CD! Fun!

When we sang songs they used a hymn book that only has words - no music, but it has the English words on the left side and the Russian words on the right, so we could sing along to most of the songs. This morning one song the song leader led was "Anywhere with Jesus." We thought that was totally appropriate for our situation, and thought it must have been a gift of God and a reminder just from Him!

After church Tanya drove the girls and some other children back to the orphanage, but we told the girls we'd come later in the afternoon to see them. It rained today, but at about 4:00 it cleared, so we set out on foot to the orphanage. Everyone was kind of just "hanging out" when we arrived there. It seems that Sunday afternoons are really considered a time of rest. We found the girls upstairs in the living area that their bedrooms open onto. The orphanage is a huge, old building, probably built in the '40's or '50's. It has long, meandering hallways with patched and cracked cement floors and narrow stairways leading up to the living quarters. Mark and I said it reminded us of the descriptions of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter books!

So we found Zhanna and Ella watching TV in the "commons room" with other kids and the caregivers from their group. We came in and asked if they'd like to stay or go. They immediately said they wanted to go with us, and promptly ran to put on their shoes!

We brought them Frisbees today that Mark found in a store, so we went outside to play. That was a blast. We also brought them a digital camera that Pete and Diane, the family in Canada, who hosted them at Christmas, had sent to us after the girls left it there. The girls loved looking over the pictures on the camera from their stay in Canada, and then began taking pictures of us and their surroundings, and that led to funny pictures of themselves. It wasn't long before Zhanna was giving orders - "Mark, give me camera!" "Now, Mark and Dawn, you stand here!" "Now, Ella, you take picture of me!" It was amazing how much Zhanna's English improved when she started giving orders! She's got the "older sister" gene. Yay! (I'm not alone!) She also started teasing with Mark as they were playing Frisbee, and of course, he teased back. Then she started talking about "our crazy family!" But the interesting thing was she was including herself in that description. It was wonderful.

At about 6:30 it was time for us to go, and the girls, once again, walked us to the gate and hugged us and kissed us and told us they loved us. It's such a sweet time right now with them. We can hardly believe it's been less than a week since we were reunited. It seems that huge hurdles are being crossed every day, and each day our connection to them and our love for them grows deeper. I think they feel the same with us. We are becoming much more relaxed with each other, and are comfortable with one another. We're really becoming family now(maybe even a "crazy" family!).

As Mark and I walked back to the TLC from the orphanage we had a chance to talk and reflect about all that is happening. It is a blessing from God that He has given us this chance to see things from His point of view, as the "adopting" parent. He continually comes to us, longing to see us and hear from us. He is so thrilled when we jump at the chance to spend time with Him. It makes Him so happy when we express our love for Him, and He longs for us to call Him "Father" or "Daddy."

Another thing God wants to do for us is give us a new name - that of "Christian" or "Christ follower." We also wanted to give Zhanna and Ella additions to their names. In Ukraine they don't give middle names. We thought it would be unfair to change their first names, and besides that, we love their names. But several months ago God gave me the names we should give to our new children - Zhanna Hope and Evelina (Ella) Joy. We shared those names with the girls yesterday and wrote their full new names down for them. They carefully copied them and smiled. They like them. So now, just for fun, we say, "Hi, Zhanna Hope!" "Hi, Ella Joy!" I think they feel special knowing that we've picked out these names just for them.

God continues to provide everything we need. We are so grateful. Thank you for prayers.
Much love,
Dawn and Mark

Take a walk/ Play some games

2009-05-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

We don't have much in the way of "new" news to share today, but our day was blessed and simple. We got up leisurely this morning and after breakfast Mark and I took a long walk. Our goal was to walk to the Sea of Azov and back, but we kept walking and never found it, so we turned around and went back to the TLC. We asked Tanya about directions and learned we had been walking the wrong way! Oh well! We enjoyed our walk and we'll look forward to going to the Sea another day.

This afternoon we walked to the orphanage (only about a half an hour walk from the TLC). We arrived there about 1:30. The kids were eating lunch, so we waited for Zhanna and Ella to come. Meals are served on a different schedule here than they are in the U.S. Breakfast is usually around 9:00, lunch is at 1:30 or 2:00 and dinner is at 7:00 or 7:30. They will have tea in the afternoon sometimes and that might include a snack.

When Zhanna and Ella came they were surrounded by their friends, and they all wanted to go outside and play. The orphanage doesn't have much of a playground - really just a few old metal climbing structures and an old metal basketball goal - so we had to be inventive. We taught them how to play "Red light, Green light," and "Mother May I?," and "Duck, Duck, Goose." These games had little language barriers, but helped a little with learning new words at the same time. It was fun to play with the kids. We enjoyed being with Zhanna and Ella and Masha, Kristina, Vala, Andre, Ruslan, and Julia.

After we had played for quite a while everyone was ready to quit, except for Mark (the energizer bunny!), but he agreed to give everyone else a break. Then Zhanna and Ella and Mark and I went inside to the teacher's room at the orphanage - just a meeting room with a table and chairs in the middle and some sofas against the walls. We've been allowed to go there to visit with the girls.

We talked about lots of stuff - family and home and likes and dislikes. If we didn't know a word for something Mark would look it up in the Russian/English dictionary and we communicated what we needed to. Then we shared some chocolate we brought with us - the international language! We're glad Zhanna and Ella both like chocolate as much as we do. We gave the girls necklaces that Mark's mom and dad had given us to give to them, and we talked about "Babushka" and "Didushka" - Gammy and Grandaddy. Mark also tried to propagandize our poor, new little daughters by showing them his cap with the Bronco symbol on it and telling them it was very important for them to learn the words, "I like the Denver Broncos!" The girls figured out pretty quickly what he was up to and then we had lots of fun talking about "crazy daddy!"

We showed them the video we took of them dancing and singing in the performance yesterday, and it was wonderful to hear their giggles as they laughed at themselves and pointed to each other and their friends.

At 4:30 it was time for us to say goodbye and walk back to the TLC. The girls walked us out to the orphanage gate and hugged and kissed us, then we waited as they walked a ways back into the orphanage. They kept turning around to wave and blow kisses. Sweet stuff!

We're now waiting for dinner to be ready here at the TLC. We are so grateful to be able to stay here. They have been more than hospitable. The kids and the housemoms cook every night and we eat with them here. Then they all clean up. We're spoiled! We have our own private bedroom in the basement, right beside Tanya's office. We use the bathroom in the hallway next to her office, and it includes a shower. It's also fun to interact with the kids here. Most don't know much English, but they really are great kids, and they are fun to be with. We bought ice cream treats for everyone on our walk home from the orphanage today. We will share the surprise after dinner!

Much love to all. Our prayers are with you.
Dawn and Mark

Court Date is Set

2009-05-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

This morning Mark and I and Tanya picked up Arkadi at his office and we drove to the judge's office. Tanya and Arkadi told us to wait in the hallway and they went in to submit our paperwork and talk to the judge. It only took them a few minutes, and they came out and said the court date has been set for June 1, the earliest possible date. Praise God!

Vanya traveled to Mariupol today and met with Arkadi and the social worker. He also came to collect the papers from Tanya that had been generated here - the approval from the orphanage, the statement from the social worker, and medical reports, etc. He is traveling to his home in Gorlovka tonight and on to Kiev on Sunday, in order to present the papers at the SDA on Monday. The SDA will hopefully give all approval by Friday, just in time for the court date on Monday, June 1. Yay!

We understand that if all goes well on June 1 the adoption will be approved, but then there is a 10 day waiting period before it is finalized. At the end of the 10 days we will go back to the village/town where the girls were born to get new birth certificates with their new names on them, and then we'll get their new passports. When those tasks are done we will go back to Kiev for a couple of days to get medical tests for the girls, then get the visas from the Ukrainian Embassy and register the girls with the American Embassy. Then they'll be ours and we'll be heading home! If all goes well, it may be as early as June 16! That would be great!

So for the next couple of weeks things will slow down a bit. We must be patient and wait. But that will give us time to relax and explore the city of Mariupol and to spend time with the girls every afternoon after school. Mariupol is located right on the Sea of Azov. The sea is only about a 15 minute walk from the TLC, so Mark and I plan to take some long walks and see what we can find. We hope to be able to get out with the girls some, too. Mark has already promised ice cream at our earliest possible outing. This next week is their last week of school, so we should have more opportunities after that to take them places. The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous, praise God! We're hoping that continues and we can have lots of adventures together outdoors.

We're doing okay with communication here. Mark has learned enough Russian that he is usually able to find the words to say what we want to say in a round about way. I am not able to speak much Russian, but I find myself understanding the jist of what people are saying (sometimes), and have even been able to give some insights to Mark when people are speaking to us. So, I guess we make a good team. We're asking Tanya and others this question a lot, "Koks Cazet, pah Ruski?" "How do you say that in Russian?" Or we have to say, "Ni pinye myo." "I don't understand."

One of the housemoms at the TLC, Sveta, lived in Argentina for a time, so she speaks Spanish and Russian, but no English. You should hear her and Mark talking! It is great! They are creating a new language - Spanssian! They say words in Spanish and in Russian in the same sentence, but the communication happens! It's fun!

We went to the performance at the orphanage this afternoon, and it was wonderful! The girls did a superb job and we were very proud of them, but we were reminded that we are bringing two preteen girls into our home. We were waiting for them and the others in their group as they changed into their costumes and did their hair. Some of the other girls didn't like the flowers they were required to wear around their heads as part of the costume, and were in tears before they went down to perform. Zhanna and Ella didn't have a meltdown, for which we were grateful, but after the performance they both seemed down and insisted they didn't do a good job, even after our reassurances that we loved it! Oh well! It's life ahead of us with daughters, right? Can't be helped ~ so we'll just deal with it!

Thank you to those who are reading our blog and for your prayers. Thank you for those who've left a message on the blog or have emailed us a message. Those are priceless to us. They help us feel connected to home. It's very hard to find time to respond to each one, but please know that your support and messages to us mean the world. It's such a blessing to know that you all are there behind us. We miss you all and pray for you daily as you pray for us. God bless you all!

Much love,
Dawn and Mark

A Sweet Day

2009-05-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

Today was not as "action packed" as the previous days, but it was sweet. We were scheduled to take paperwork to the judge this morning in order to receive a court date. However, the paperwork did not get finished because of further medical testing needed by the girls, so Mark and I ended up "hanging loose" until about 2:00 this afternoon.

Our downtime felt strange because we've been going so hard the last several days . . . weeks . . . months! But we were able to take a nice walk in the neighborhood around the TLC. There are several small stores nearby, and we also enjoyed seeing the flowers, especially the irises. Then we came "home" and sat on a sofa together and read. It has been ages since we've sat down and read together for any length of time! It was wonderful!

At 2:00 Tanya drove us to the orphanage and we met Zhanna and Ella there and sat and visited with them in a private room for more than an hour. It was fantastic! We talked and talked - just the four of us. Mark pulled out the English-Russian dictionary and we were able to cover several topics of conversation that way. We laughed together and ate candy and played with the official orphanage pet - a rat named Lareesa! (It's not as bad as it sounds - it's a very small domesticated and very tame brown and black rat with at least some hair on its tail!).

At about 3:30 the teacher, Oksana, came to get the girls to go rehearse for a performance they are in tomorrow afternoon. We were invited to go watch. What a special treat! It was the first time we were able to sit in an audience as proud parents and watch these two children perform. We were WOWED! I can honestly tell you that Zhanna and Ella are coming into the right family. They are every bit as talented and dynamic on stage as their older brother and sister, Nathan and Annie! Zhanna and Ella have the lead roles in all the dancing and singing numbers in the show, and truthfully, they are amazingly talented young ladies! (I'm not just saying that because I'm their mother, either!). The show is in Russian, of course, but it doesn't matter. The elegance and playfulness of the dancing and the quality of their singing voices is mesmerizing. Tomorrow we will go to the actual performance and will take our video camera. Our first video of our new children!

When we left the orphanage we went to the grocery store with Tanya. They have a large grocery store close by called the "Amstore." It rivals Wal-mart! (Okay, almost, but not quite!). We had fun helping Tanya shop for the family at the TLC. We insisted on buying chocolate for everyone, and it was enjoyed tonight after a good dinner of cabbage, radish and onion slaw and pasta and chicken. What a great day!

Tomorrow morning we will wait until the medical tests are completed and then take all the paperwork to the judge. Hopefully we will be given a court date soon. Vanya is traveling here tomorrow. He will pick up all our paperwork and personally carry it to Kiev where he will deliver it to the SDA on Monday morning. What an amazing week! Last Monday we just met before the SDA and were able to come to Mariupol, meet with the girls, receive permission to adopt the girls, go before the judge, and have all the paperwork returned by next Monday! Whew! God is so good, and Vanya and Tanya and Arkadi are all working so hard on our behalf. We have so much to be grateful for.

One more piece of good news. Tanya asked the director of the orphanage if Zhanna and Ella could come to church with us on Sunday. The director gave her permission. Yes! It will be the first time we go to church together as a family! We are looking forward to that.

We are feeling happy and peaceful and blessed. It is all good and it is all in God's timing. Thank you for your prayers.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

What an Anniversary!

2009-05-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

I posted one blog earlier today, but mostly told about what happened yesterday. We went to church tonight (all in Russian, but very lively!). It's after dinner now (we had Verengy again, and cabbage and radish and dill slaw. Yum!), so I'm writing once more to tell about the wonderful events of today!

Today is our 31st wedding anniversary, and God blessed it! We had to be up and ready to go by 8:00 in order to get to the orphanage by 8:15 to meet with the director. Zhanna and Ella were with us as we arrived this morning. Their hair was in braids with big bows and they both had on red sweaters and blue skirts. They hugged us and held on to us as we walked inside. As the other children walked by the girls held on to us very possessively.

The other kids from camp came and gave us hugs, too, which was sweet and special. I'm feeling guilt toward the other kids. So many of them touched our hearts last summer - Alona, Yana, Sergai and Slavik, Anya, etc., etc., etc. I wish we could take them all home, but it's not possible. I'm so happy that Zhanna and Ella will be our girls, but I will always pray for the others.

After our initial greeting we went to the Director's office. She is an attractive woman, but we understand that she can be moody. She seemed pleasant enough this morning, however. She talked to Tanya and Arkadi and then asked us some questions, such as how much money we make, how we met the girls, information about Nathan and Annie and where they were living and what they were doing. Then she brought the girls in and had them sit and asked them questions about how we met and if they wanted to go with us to America. The girls both said, "Yes," enthusiastically. The director asked if anything was wrong with the orphanage. The girls said no, but they still wanted to go with us. I was proud of their wise answers and the poise they displayed in the process. Then the orphanage doctor came in and gave us a brief medical history of the girls. She asked if we still wanted them or wanted time to think it over. We said of course we still wanted them! (There are no problems, but even if there were, we've already decided they are ours!)

After this "grilling" Tanya and the girls and Mark and I were escorted upstairs so we could visit in another room while Arkadi and the Director's secretary finished the paperwork. When it was time to go we were asked to sign a paper stating that we want to adopt Zhanna and Ella. It felt so good to do that on our anniversary! What a gift!

We had to say good-bye to the girls then, but promised to see them later in the day. It was about 11:30 by that time, and Mark and I and Tanya were on a mission! We had to go to a small village/town in a distant part of the Donetsk region where Zhanna and Ella had been born. We had to retrieve a document saying that all the other adoptable siblings had already been adopted.

So, we set out on this journey on totally unknown roads through farming community after farming community. It was an absolutely beautiful day! The sun was shining and it was warm. The purple lilacs and red tulips and purple and white irises and chestnut trees are all in full bloom all at once here and grew lavishly all along the journey. There were milk cows and goats tied up beside the roads through every village we drove through. I guess the new spring grass needs to be eaten! There were old men sitting in the yard, while old women were working in the garden. We saw baby geese and even a man on a bicyle, steering with one hand and holding a bird cage containing a live parakeet in the other! Ah, Spring in Ukraine!

We saw Ukraine today in a totally different way. Up to now we had been mostly in the cities, but the country is beautiful - so green and lush, with field after field of fertile soil, plowed and waiting,or already bursting with the promise of a new crop. We could see clearly why Ukraine is called "The Breadbasket of Europe." Many crops are grown here such as wheat and potatoes and sunflowers for oil. The old Ukrainian ramshackle houses have a beauty all their own. Some were painted old world style with bright colors surrounding the windows and doors while the rest of the house is drab brown or grey. What tranquility! What a pastoral scene!

Until we hit a pothole - which was every 3 - 5 seconds, unless you were an expert swerver - which, thankfully, most of the time, Tanya was. She also expertly dodged the dogs, chickens and other farm animals that could have easily become roadkill under our tires. Also, there was the small issue of no signs on the road to tell you where you are going, and no highway numbers. Then, in driving through small villages, often the road would fork or split suddenly, and you had to guess as to which small, unlined fork was the main highway, and which was just the cow path through the town. We kept praying for God to give us a "sign!" We've decided that we think the Ukrainian government should put more money into its Transportation Department. Da!

Miraculously, after 2 hours, we arrived (in one piece - mind, body and soul!) in the larger village which is home to the district records office. This town was like taking a step back in time into an old Soviet village. There were buildings that are now vacant that had obviously once been Soviet offices. In order to get to the correct building we had to walk through an old park and around some old apartments. The office building we were looking for was entered through a heavy steel door and over a cracked and broken cement floor. We entered the actual office through an initial steel door off the hallway and then opened another wooden door within a square cubical area. There were about 5 women working inside within 2 extremely small rooms. I don't know how they kept from stepping on each other all the time! But they were very friendly. It didn't take long to get the document and they congratulated us and we left.

We then found a small market in the village to purchase some lunch. The lady shopkeeper didn't use a cash register. Instead, she had a large, old abacus attached to the counter, which she methodically used to keep track of our purchases. She seemed amused that we couldn't understand how much everything cost. We bought a hunk of Swiss cheese and a hunk of Muenster cheese, some bread, some chocolate and some juice. A great Ukrainian lunch! We ate in the car on the bumpy and swervy and picturesque 2 hour drive back to Mariupol!

We got to see the girls for just a few minutes when we returned. It was too late for us to spend much time with them, but tomorrow afternoon, Tanya has promised that we'll get to go with her to an English lesson with Zhanna and Ella.

Tomorrow we will be up and out the door at 8:00 again. We must take all our paperwork to the judge tomorrow morning. We have no idea how this will go. We must present our case and then in a day or two we will be given a court date. This could be as much as two weeks from now. Once we go to court everything is put on hold for 10 days. At that time, if no one has come forward to protest, the adoption is finalized here, and we get new birth certificates and new passports for the girls. (They can get passports in one day here for adoptions! Wow!) We do all that here in Mariupol. Once those things are all done we pack up the girls and take the train back to Kiev. We'll stay another few days in Kiev as we have to have medical tests on the girls there and register them with the American Embassy. Then we get to come home!

We're really not sure about how long all this will take at this point. But we've been told we have a good chance to be able to come home before July 1, maybe even as early as June 20, if all goes well. We'll pray.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying. God is good and He provides. Happy Ukrainian Anniversary to us!
Love,
Dawn and Mark

We Saw the Girls!

2009-05-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after we had eaten at the TLC (finally) we went to the Social Worker's office. Tanya has a car, so she drove us there and she asked us to stay in the car while she went inside to talk to him about what needed to be done. We were in the car for more than an hour. Finally, Tanya and the social worker (his name is Arkadi)came out to the car and we drove to the orphanage. We went in and were shown to the director's reception room. The door was open to the hallway and we could watch the children passing. We saw many kids we met at the camp last year and they looked surprised to see us, but then waved happily. Then, lo and behold, Zhanna and Ella passed by, looked in and saw us, and both ran to give us big hugs! It was an amazing experience! Mark and I were both in tears and couldn't stop hugging and holding them. We all sat down on the sofa and waited for the director to come.

As it turned out, the director never showed up yesterday afternoon, as she had scheduled. Finally Tanya called her and she told us she could meet us at 8:15 in the morning. But Mark and I and the girls didn't mind. It gave us a good hour together to visit and catch up. Tanya helped with translation when necessary, but the rest of the time we just "winged it." We'll be okay as we begin the communication process. It will just take time for Zhanna and Ella to learn English and for us to learn more Russian. We reluctantly said our good-byes, with the assurance that we would meet again in the morning.

We spent the evening at the TLC with the older kids there. The TLC is a great Christian facility for kids who choose to be there and apply and are accepted. They have regular home duties and responsibilities as they live here and continue to go to school or get job training. They must attend church (it is connected to the TLC building) and maintain good grades and/or good behavior. The kids were all very polite to us and they prepared a great dinner of shredded cabbage and cooked barley and sausage. It was very good.

Well I must go for now. We had a wonderful day today, but it is almost 6:00pm and Wednesday night, so they have church service. Mark and I will go and then I'll write more later.
Blessings,
Dawn

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles!

2009-05-19T01:59:00.000-07:00

We arrived safely in Ukraine on Sunday afternoon, and were greeted at the airport by Vanya. What a nice, young, Christian man he is! We enjoyed being with him. We went from the airport by taxi to the apartment Vanya rented for us. It was located right in the heart of Kiev, within a block of Kiev square, which is the hangout location of the city, surrounded by statues and fountains, and is on top of a large underground shopping mall. Our apartment was small, but quite nice by Ukrainian standards, and was very comfortable for us for the one night we stayed there.

We really enjoyed our short stay in Kiev. It is a beautiful city - full of history and culture. There were grand gold-topped cathedrals all around us. There are also statues and war memorials on every corner. We went walking a little on Sunday night after Vanya left us for the evening. What fun! The city has that old European feel - similar to Paris, but with a lot more military history. We'll come back to Kiev with the girls at the end of the adoption process. Then we'll get to shop at the many booths in the open air market.

Yesterday was a hurry up and wait kind of day. Vanya met us at 9:00 and we went to breakfast. We enjoyed Verengya (not sure about the spelling, but they are cheese or meat filled dumplings), along with potato pancakes with sour cream (latkes). It was a good breakfast, which was a good thing, because we didn't know it was going to be our only meal for a day and a half! We were at the SDA (State Department of Adoption) long before our 11:00 appointment, which didn't take very long at all. We were readily given approval, but then the race was on. When we left the office we had to go to the copy center where Vany made copies of our entire dossier. We then returned the original dossier to the SDA so they could combine it into book form and get the last approval there - hopefully by the afternoon. Meanwhile we walked blocks in order to go to the notary's office (notaries here are more like attorneys than in the U.S.). We then presented the documents and waited and waited and waited for them to be signed. If we had known it would take so long there we might have left and returned later, but we didn't want to miss it when the documents were ready. When they were finally signed we took a cab to the apartment to hurriedly pack, and Mark walked back to the SDA with Vanya to sign the finalized documents. When they returned we raced to the train station in a cab, headed for Mariupol, and the girls!

It was a traveling experience we'll never forget. We took an old Soviet-era sleeper train on an overnight 12-hour journey. The train itself was quite a different experience - creaking and swaying through the night as we slept in the clothes we'd been wearing all day in a small compartment with Kostya (Vanya's partner, whom we'd just met), and another Ukrainian woman who just happened to buy a seat in the same compartment (she snored loudly, by the way!). We hadn't eaten lunch yesterday because it was rush, rush, rush all day trying to get all the documents approved and ready for us to bring here. Then we had to run to catch the train and didn't have time to buy dinner, so the only food available was potato chips and cookies. That was our supper last night on the train. When we arrived at our destination this morning we were picked up at the train station by Vanya's brother, Slava, who doesn't speak any English. So we couldn't ask if we could stop anywhere for breakfast, so no food then, either! It took 2 1/2 hours to drive to Mariupol. Slava has a modern, very fast car, but a large part of the trip we couldn't go very fast because of all the enormous potholes in the road, which Slava carefully drove around - even into oncoming traffic. The rest of the time he made up for the pothole slowdown by driving extremely fast and passing as many other vehicles as possible. We saw several cars with 3 or 4 50-lb. bags of vegetables (cabbages, radishes and cucumbers) strapped to the tops of the cars. It was an interesting sight! A couple of times I was afraid Slava was going to collide with one of those cars and we'd all be waist deep in cabbages! At other times there were Soviet-style military trucks on the road that we swerved around. In the towns we drove through we passed the old busses full of people going to work - many babushkas in scarves tied under their chins, as well as young women or men dressed in very tantalizing, and sometimes revealing fashions. Ukraine is a study in contrasts between the old Soviet and the new modern Europe. It is sometimes hard to juxtopose the two.

When we arrived at Mariupol, Slava drove us to the TLC (transitional living center) where Tanya greeted us warmly. She asked if we'd like some tea or something and we explained we hadn't had anything to eat and she and another woman (Sveta) pulled out all kinds of wonderful leftovers. It was one of the best meals we've ever eaten!

We are still wearing the same clothes we had on yesterday, but we have an appointment shortly here in Mariupol with the next authority in line in the adoption process. We have no idea how many steps this will take, although Tanya and Vanya seem to clearly understand the process, so we just trust them to get us where we need to go and see whomever we need to see. Tanya is taking care of us here, because Vanya had to travel to Odessa with another couple adopting from the orphanage there.

We don't know yet when we'll see the girls, but we can't wait. Tanya says they are ready and excited to see us.

We are so appreciative of the prayers! I felt the presence of God especially strongly this morning at about 7:00 am here as we were sitting on the train before our exit stop. I wondered if some back home were praying for us before they went to bed. God has certainly sustained us, with energy and strength - despite strange sleeping conditions and sometimes no food. He is giving us everything and more than we need.

We'll be able to use the computer here at the TLC in Tanya's office for the next few weeks, so I can check my email and write in the blog. Thanks to all who are praying. God is good, and HIs presence is very evident now that we are here in Ukraine. We've waited so long to be here. We'll be with our girls soon!

Love,
Dawn and Mark

Leaving on a Jet Plane!

2009-05-15T15:23:00.000-07:00

We leave for Ukraine tomorrow at 6:30 am! Yippee! (I never thought I'd be so excited about sleep deprivation!) We are ready to do this. God has been so good to us. His leading has been perfect. We had no idea when we received the word two weeks ago how we were going to possibly get everything done in time to go. But He has worked through everything and has provided the time, money and energy that has been required every day.

The girls' room is ready for them to come home. I posted pictures for you to see. We invited our dear church family over to see the girls' room and to pray there for them. Other loving friends have come over at different times, as well. The blessings have meant so much to us. We pray that Zhanna and Ella will walk into that room and feel love like they've never known before and that they'll feel God's presence giving them peace.

We're ready to go, but we know there will be challenges ahead. The six weeks in Ukraine may not be a picnic. There are some issues ahead that may need to be dealt with. We hear there's a possibility that some people we meet with may be expecting "gifts" of money in order to move things along speedily. That is often the way things are done in Ukraine, and you can't blame the people. The incomes there are low and inflation is high, and they struggle financially. It seems to be just the way things are done.

Well, we're not really surprised by this, but we're not sure what else we will encounter along those lines. I was feeling a bit anxious when we heard about this. We had estimated the amount of money needed pretty exactly. We were told we had to carry a large sum of money with us in new American bills in order to make certain transactions. Mark had to make special arrangements at the bank for the new bills. We were concerned that we wouldn't have enough money for this and other things that will come up. However, God has shown himself mightily! In the past two days we have been given a total of $1700 by several different people - just out of the blue! God provides before we even need it! He is so good!

The journey is just beginning, but the journey has been ongoing for 9 months now. We are about to give birth to a new family dynamic and welcome two new members. This journey is a physical journey, but it has also been a spiritual journey for everyone involved. We've been so blessed to feel used by God in this endeavor, but to also witness how it is affecting those around us. The generosity and support of faith has been amazing. The way God muliplies one situation to bring about a greater understanding of Him and a greater love for all mankind is astounding. We are humbled to be at the hub of this venture, and we know that we'll never see where all the ripple effects will go. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Our faith has grown this year. Someone handed me a little book marker the other day that had these words on it: "Radical Christianity. There's safety in complacency, but God is calling us out of our comfort zone into a life of complete surrender to the cross. To live dangerously is not to live recklessly, but righteously, and it is because of God's radical grace for us that we can risk living a life of radical obedience for Hm." We feel that is the journey we have been on with Christ, and what a GRAND adventure it has been! And there is more to come! Hallelujah!

So for now, God be with you till we meet again. Hopefully we'll be able to blog a little from Ukraine, but if not, we look forward to sharing when we return home. Remember, "The eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose hearts are completely His." II Chronicles 16:9

Dasveedanya! Goodbye for now. We'll be home soon and so will Zhanna and Ella!
Much love,
Dawn and Mark

We're Going to Ukraine!

2009-05-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

Our appointment date in Ukraine is set for May 18 in Kiev at 11:00 am! We received the word on Wednesday while we were in Texas with my 8th graders on a mission trip. We were living and working in a homeless shelter there, so the whole experience was rather surreal!

Our first response was to panic because of the suddeness of the appointment. But then Mark and I cried and prayed together. We have been waiting so long for this!

The next two weeks will be an absolute whirlwind. We have been gone this entire last week, so we have lots to catch up on here. We'll be in Texas again next weekend for Nathan's graduation from Abilene Christian University (we're so thankful we won't have to miss that!). Then 4 or 5 days after that we'll be on a plane to Kiev. Mark will have much to do to leave all the demands of preaching and ministry to others while we'll be gone for up to 6 weeks. I will have to scramble like crazy to get all my important projects and grading for report cards done before I leave. In addition, I'll have to leave lesson plans for a sub for the last week to week and a half of school and I'll have to get my classroom all packed up and stored away before I leave. Whew!

Yes, it will be incredibly overwhelming, so we appreciate all prayers you can offer on our behalf. God is so good, and we know He will provide everything we need. We can't wait to bring Zhanna and Ella home, and for all our friends and loved ones to meet our beautiful Ukrainian daughters!

I'll try to write more, as time allows, before we leave. May God bless us, every one!
Dawn and Mark

Waiting, waiting, waiting . . . . .

2009-04-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

After the last blog posting, you should have seen us go into overdrive! We contacted our social worker, Malisa, and asked her to generate the additional addendum document to our homestudy. She did it that day, had it notarized and mailed it overnight to us. We received it on Thursday morning, April 2, and Mark drove it up to Santa Fe immediately for the apostile. He got that done and then took it directly to the Fed Ex office in Albuquerque to mail express mail to Ukraine. It would arrive in 3 business days, but at a cost of $123! Add that to the expenses of the overnight mailing, the trip to Santa Fe, the cost of the apostile, etc., and that one document cost us about $200! Whew! But it's all worth it. Vanya received it on Tuesday, he translated it on Wednesday and drove it to Kiev on Thursday, April 9.

That and other paperwork was submitted to the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption (SDA) by Vanya last week. We hoped to get a date then when we'd be asked to come to Ukraine. Nope! Not yet! Vanya then submitted our entire dossier yesterday. Were we given a date? No-o-o-o! We were informed that we'd be told in 10 to 14 days. Oh-h-h-h! The waiting is so long! It is so hard not to be anxious!

We find ourselves worrying about all the little details and the timing and how it will all work out. We were told that we may need to be there in about a month from now, but we have so many other commitments to deal with before we can go. I have my commitments at school. 22 of my students are going to State History Day next Friday. I'll find out then if any of them will go to National History Day in Washington D.C. in June. (I probably won't get to lead that trip this year, as I have the past 3 years.) Mark and I are going with my 8th graders on a mission trip to work with the poor and homeless at Love and Care Ministries in Abilene April 27 - May 1. Annie comes home from college for the summer on May 2 and Mark will help her haul all her belongings home. Nathan graduates from college on May 9, so we'll be returning to Abilene then. After that I have 2 more weeks of school with all of the end of the year grading, report cards, packing up the room, 8th grade graduation ceremony, May Day Play Day, etc., etc., etc. Mark has commitments of ministry and counseling and teaching. It gets so overwhelming when you worry it out to the last detail.

But then we take a step back and look at the entire journey. We see so clearly that God has been actively involved in every step that has been taken. Everything has happened at exactly the right time. Why should this be any different? When we turn our trust over to God and allow Him to work in us and through us, we experience peace. I wish I could remember to do this all the time! I'm so fickle and frail! I must die daily, and continually give my life up to God. Then He can work. He has shown us that over and over again this past year throughout this adoption process. It has certainly been a faith - builder!

The girls' room is done! It is so adorable! I want to have an open house one Sunday before we go and invite all our friends and church family over to see it and to pray in it. I want the walls to be bathed in prayer before the girls come!

So, for now, we are waiting. But we trust that this is God's perfect timing, reflecting His pure and perfect and loving will for us. We'll continue to wait and hope and pray. He is so good. We know He'll take care of us and all our needs. After all, "consider the lilies and the sparrows!" God takes care of them, and he'll take care of us and Zhanna and Ella, too.

In Peace and Love and Trust,
Dawn

More Hoops

2009-04-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Did I say all our paperwork was in Ukraine? Well, it was. However we received an email yesterday morning from Teresa, the adoption agency director, who carried our paperwork with her, and is now in Ukraine. She informed us that the State Adoption Board there wants one more document. Aagh-gh-gh! Teresa described it as frustrating and crazy, but we'll be the "circus lion that jumps through the hoop!"

This morning we received the following email from Vanya, our new facilitator in Ukraine. He is working on our behalf there. We were pleased and surprised to learn that he is a Christian. Just his words were comforting to us, and a reminder that God is still in control, and there is a plan and a purpose in everything that is happening. We'll do what needs to be done and trust that the timing is perfect, because God is perfect!

We want to share Vanya's letter:

Greetings, Mark and Dawn!

It is the first time I am writing to you, although after translating your dossier and working with your case for a few weeks it feels like I've know you for a quite a while:)

Let me introduce myself quickly, my name is Ivan Litvinov, but friends call me Vanya. I work as adoption facilitator, this has been my full time job for about 4 years. I am 22, I was born the same year as your son, 1986. Now you know that I am young and will not be "surprised" when I meet you at the Kiev Airport and you think: "He is green! I hope he knows what he's doing!". :) A lot of my clients thought that at first. This is ok.

Alright, let's get down to the essence of this note. I wanted to clarify a little what Teresa has written to you. First of all, I want to say that I admire your determination and persistence with this adoption - I know how frustrating all this paperwork gathering can become. You do everything very promptly and accurately, which makes it much easier for Teresa and I to move along the process on this end.

The whole point of doing this addendum to the home study is to save time for you. The stumbling block is that part where you say that if Zhanna and Evelina are unavailable, you want to adopt two other children 5-14. When I first saw your homestudy I knew that could put off the time of submission greatly because the line of families who want to adopt little children (and 5 is considered little) is very long. This is how it works - before I can submit your dossier to the SDA I have to bring it them for the registration. The lady checks it and depending on the age of the children desired assigns me a date to come and actually submit the dossier. The SDA is open for dossier submission Mon-Thurs 9-11. On Mondays and Tuesdays they take the dossiers of the families who want little children and Wednesdays and Thursdays - those who are willing to take children of older ages (like 10 and up). Now, as you imagine, there are a LOT of families who want small kids. So the Mondays and Tuesdays are all packed through August. This means that given your age preference of 5-12 I will be scheduled to submit you dossier only in August. This would mean that you would have to re-do all the papers because they will expire by then.

Now, I did petition the SDA about Zhanna and Evelina on your behalf. Basically I asked whether they are available for international adoption. The official response from the SDA was positive. Yes, the girls are available for adoption. SDA, however, put a notice in the response letter, that these girls can also be adopted by Ukrainian citizens or by other foreign citizens. (this basically means that the SDA will not hold these girls for you, if somebody desires to adopt them before you come, the can). To us this letter gives a green light to go ahead and submit the dossier for these girls. But the problem is in that phrase "5-12". According to the SDA's reading of the law (and they are the ones who decide how it should be read, just like Pharisees) you should submit Monday or Tuesday, even though the girls you primarily want are 12 and 13. Now, to solve the issue we need that addendum that will say that you want either these two girls or any other two children 10-14. By raising the lower age limit from 5 to 10 we get the chance to submit the dossier on Thursday or Wednesday (the older kids submission day). With this addendum I will be able to submit your dossier in April, granted I receive the apostilled document from you before April 10-12.

I hope this lengthy email helped to clear things up for you a little. I know it all sounds ridiculous sometimes, and as often happens with governments, it is! They get so legalistic to the point of absurdity. But we can only pray for them, being faithful followers of Jesus. :)

I look forward to meeting you!

In Him,

Vanya

We do look forward to meeting Vanya, and all the others who have been so kind to us. God will see this to fruition. We believe it IS His plan that we adopt Zhanna and Ella. We will just keep walking the path that is laid before us. Please keep praying that God will miraculously intervene when necessary, and that He will give us patience to wait on Him when necessary. I hope we have very positive news next time I write.

God's blessings to all,
Dawn and Mark

Deja-vu!

2009-03-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

Didn't Yogi Berra have a line that went something like, "It's deja-vu all over again?!" That's the way we are feeling. But we continue to trust that it is all part of God's plan!

We have had many complications with submitting our adoption paperwork. We submitted the entire dossier more than a month ago, but since then we've been notified time and again that the wording on this document or that document needed to be changed slightly, or Ukraine had changed the forms, or the medical tests we had done last summer were "too old." (We about flipped out on that one. That was the hardest part! But thankfully, our doctor agreed to change the dates for us, since the tests were still timely as far as she was concerned). Everytime we had to make changes on a document it required retyping and recopying the document (sometimes 4 copies of certain documents were needed). Then we had to get them notarized again, then they had to be taken to Santa Fe to the Secretary of States' Office to be apostiled. (A special page attached to the document, basically approving our notary, and verifying the legality of the document). Every page that is apostiled costs $3. We paid over $150 for the first complete dossier, and I'm sure we've paid at least that in getting all these corrections made. Mark has made 5 trips to Santa Fe. I got to go with him this week, on Monday, since I'm on Spring Break. We sent those documents overnight, and they arrived in Florida on Tuesday. The adoption agency director is flying to Ukraine tomorrow (Friday). She says all our documents finally look okay, and she is carrying them with her to be hand delivered on Monday! Praise God! We hope and pray all goes well, and that we are told soon when we can go and get "our girls!" Please pray about this!

We also learned, in the process of checking to see if the girls are legally adoptable (they are), that they have 5 siblings! Whew! They have an older half-brother in his 20's, and 4 younger siblings. They have 2 brothers, ages about 5 and 6, and a set of twin sisters, about 3 years old. We understand the twins have been adopted, and Zhanna and Ella have never met them. From what we understand they have not seen their brothers in 4 years, when their parents' rights were terminated, and the girls were put in the orphanage. I'm not sure they even know where their brothers are. We are interested to see if anything comes of this.

While I'm on Spring Break we've been painting the girls' room and buying things to decorate. This has been fun! We painted two walls a pretty yellow (Ella's favorite color), and two walls a pretty pink (Zhanna's favorite color). We're hanging a really colorful border with those colors. We have already bought bedspreads with yellow, pink and green. Mark and I went to Hobby Lobby and bought several things to add to the decor. It is going to be the cutest room, if I do say so myself! Very colorful and whimsical - almost Dr. Seuss-like, or something out of Disney's "Toontown," but very classy and fairy garden-like, too. I love it! I hope the girls will enjoy it as much as Mark and I have enjoyed working on it. We know the Ukrainian people, in general, love color. Probably in response to the dark days of the Soviet era. We just want Zhanna and Ella to feel that they are "coming home," and that they are loved and wanted.

Annie is back in the states now, and has shared much with us about the Ukraine trip. She loved being there, and especially loved seeing "her sisters" and all our dear friends from the trip last summer. Annie is very fond of Ukrainian culture. The people take time to warm up to strangers, but once the friendship or relationship is established, Ukrainian people will do anything for those they care about (as we've experienced through the wonderful friends there who have been so helpful to us, like Valya, Viki, and Tanya). The Ukrainians are also VERY hospitable. They, themselves, may not have a lot in the way of worldly goods, but they will give you the best they have when you go to visit them. Annie said the entire choir was treated that way wherever they went. They went to serve and to share, and ended up being served. We felt the same way last summer. We hope we can establish and maintain the tradition of loving hospitality in our home when the girls come. They need to know how much we appreciate the culture they've come from, and how Christ-like it is.

Praise God, the church fund to which everyone is contributing toward the adoption now shows over $19,000 has been donated! Wow! We've used about $10,000 so far for the expenses that have come up, but we have not had to worry about money at any time in this endeavor. God is so good, and He has used so many of you to bless us and to bring Zhanna and Ella home. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We anticipate the total expenses to be somewhere between $25,000 and $28,000.

It is evident to us that God's fingerprints are all over this situation. We don't understand why He called us to do this, but we are doing everything we can to faithfully follow the road He has laid out for us. It is humbling and exciting and frightening and joyous to be doing this, when a year ago we would never have imagined this is where we'd be. We're so thankful God sees the big picture and knows exactly how this will all play out. It's been an amazing journey!

Blessings to all. Thank you, friends. Your outpouring of love is beautiful.
Dawn and Mark

Beautiful Girls

2009-03-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

Did you ever see three more beautiful girls? Annie is now in Ukraine and Zhanna and Ella got to go see her and hear the Praise Choir in concert. This picture was taken two days ago and emailed by Tanya. It brings tears to our eyes whenever we look at it! We already love Zhanna and Ella as much as we love Annie! They are all our daughters, and we are the proud "Mama" and "Papa." Annie and the Praise Choir will return to the States on Sunday. We appreciate prayers.

So, we mailed off our paperwork. It needed corrections. We made corrections, got the documents notarized again, Mark drove them to Santa Fe for the apostil, we mailed them off again. They needed corrections, . . . . Four different times now this has occurred! This last week we thought we were going to fall apart. The adoption agency called and said that after looking at our paperwork they discovered that the medical tests we had done last summer were "too old." Everything has to be less than 6 months old, or Ukraine won't accept it. The Medical Tests? That was one of the hardest steps in the process (besides the crazy fingerprinting!) Not only that, there is now a two week deadline we are trying to meet to get our paperwork to Ukraine.

We felt hopeless for a short time. Mark called me at work and we both felt despair. I shared with my students, and bless them - they lifted me and Mark and the girls up in prayer as only kids can. Their sweet spirits and hearts released the burden to God. And God answered their prayers rapidly! Mark called our doctor, and explained the situation. Lo and behold, she agreed to change the dates on the form for the medical tests! She normally wouldn't do something like that, but since the tests were still timely, as far as she was concerned, and the requirements were so unreasonable, she agreed to do that! Praise God!

So, Mark picked up those forms from the doctor's office on Monday, had them notarized, drove them to Santa Fe for the apostile, and mailed them off once again. Whew! We pray that was the last time. Hopefully and prayerfully, our dossier will be on its way to Ukraine within a week to be translated.

We appreciate all your prayers. Thank you our friends. Blessings to all.
Dawn and Mark

Wild Ride!

2009-02-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

Our paperwork has been sent off! The last two weeks were a whirlwind. We received our approval letter from the Bureau of Immigration and scrambled to get every document notarized. Our good friend from church, Wesley, who is a notary, came to our house twice last week and spent more than an hour each time notarizing the documents. Mark then took everything to Santa Fe to the Secretary of State's office to receive the apostil and was told some of the documents were not worded correctly. He brought them home. We changed them. Wes notarized them again. Mark drove to Santa Fe again on Monday. All was good! Everything received the apostil! Praise God!

Mark sent them to Florida on Tuesday and they were received on Friday. They are being reviewed this weekend. If all is in good shape they'll be mailed to Ukraine this coming week to be translated. Please pray!

I have a good friend who told me she's had a recurring dream about our paperwork landing in Ukraine in a pile of paperwork in a room that is being sorted through by the traditional "Babushka" type women you think of from Russia or Ukraine. What's neat about my friend's dream is that she said that our packet of paperwork keeps rising to the top of the pile of papers, and the "Babushkas" look startled to see it again, but pass it along to the next necessary approval area. In that fashion our paperwork keeps being moved along! I pray that this is a good sign from God that He will do everything possible to move the process along and put it in the correct hands! We have faith that He will do that very thing, "Babushkas" or not!

We spoke to our girls by telephone this morning! It was so sweet to hear their voices! We have arranged for them to be taking English lessons from a Christian woman in Mariupol named Tanya. Tanya manages a transistional living center that some of the orphans go to after they are put out of the orphanage at age 16. The living center provides further opportunity for job training and education, as well as a Christian home environment for those orphans who are interested. Tanya also gives English lessons on the side as additional income for herself and to help the orphans who will be adopted. We're so thankful for her. So, the girls were able to speak to us in halting English, and we were able to speak to them in halting Russian. It was not the deepest conversation, but it may have been one of the sweetest we've ever had! They say they love us and they miss us.

Nathan is home this weekend. We have been cleaning and sorting through the stuff in his room. It's like going on an archaeological dig! But he came home this weekend to make some decisions about what he wants to keep and what he wants to get rid of. It's great to have him home. It's a little bittersweet to be getting rid of Nathan's room, but he's so good about it and he's ready, so that makes it easier. We're very excited to think about repainting and redecorating it for the girls. Their favorite colors are yellow and pink, and they love the outdoors, so I bought bedspreads that are yellow and pink and green. I think it will be cute to create a beautiful and whimsical garden-type bedroom for them. We're going to try to be ready to paint by the end of March during the week of my spring break. Then we'll get new furniture and put it all togeher. What fun! I look forward to their reaction with anticipation!

Annie is going to Ukraine in March with the Praise Choir from Lubbock Christian University. They have been invited by Eastern European Missions to give concerts in two different cities in Ukraine. Annie is so excited to be going. Some of our dear friends, including Valya and Viki, have told us they will go to the concerts and that they look forward to seeing Annie. We've asked Tanya if she would be able to bring Zhanna and Ella by train to Donetsk to see the concert and see Annie. She hasn't decided if she will be able to do that or not, but we're praying it will happen.

We truly appreciate everyone's continued concern and prayers and outpouring of financial help. The Lord has blessed us mightily in this through the love of so many others. We've been overwhelmed by the blessings we've received. We've had to make incremental payments to the social worker and then to the adoption agency in Florida, and we've always had the money at hand, plus more available, when we've needed to make a payment. It is so clear that God is leading this effort and providing everything we need. He'll do the same for us and the girls once they become part of our family. We're so excited about that day coming!

We understand more than ever the idea of God adopting us as orphans and making us a part of His family. He longs for us more than we long for Him, because He is preparing a place for us and is anticipating our reaction. He longs for us to know how much He loves us. He wants to bless us and show us His love.

May you know how much God loves you. Thank you for your prayers.
Love from Dawn and Mark

Good News!

2009-01-19T20:54:00.000-08:00

After a very long, very dry spell of nothing happening, we finally have good news! Our final homestudy arrived in the mail on Saturday! Also in the mail on Saturday was the Bureau of Immigration appointment letter to have our fingerprints taken on January 31. We're moving again, praise God! We have several other letters and forms we now need to have notarized and approved by the adoption agency in Florida, then when that's all done we have to take everything to the Secretary of State's office in Santa Fe for the apostil, or special notary designation. Then we send it all off to Ukraine to be translated. After that, 3 documents are submitted to the Ukrainian National Adoption Board requesting permission to submit our documents. We are given an appointment to submit our documents. Once the documents are submitted and if/when they are approved, then we are given a date when we can go to Ukraine to get the girls! If all goes well, we are praying it will be in early summer.

As I shared in the last post, our girls were in Canada for the holidays. Because of that, our friend, Valya, was not able to go take our Christmas presents to the girls, as well as other items the church and my students sent to all the orphans. In addition, the church had collected money for Valya to use for the children. This past weekend Valya and another friend of ours in Ukraine, Vicki, went to Mariupol to see the girls and deliver all the gifts. Let me just let you read about the experience in Valya's own words from an email she sent when she returned home:

Dear Dawn and Mark, Hello !!!!
I have just come back from Mariupol. Everything is O.K. Vicki came on Saturday and
helped me to carry bags because there were many things.
We gave girls many hugs, rested a little and then went shopping. We asked them what they need and made a list, asked the teachers what kids need and spent three hours shopping. We bought underwear, warm socks, gloves, hats, tights, shampoo, bars of soap, washing powder, things for girls, toilet paper, high boots for Ella,Zhanna, Yanna, sneakers for Katia and of course candies and cookies. Both boys and girls were happy to get things which your colleague has sent toys, bracelets, socks and other things.
Ella and Zhanna were excited to get gifts from you; they were happy and thanked you for hats, dolls, pencils and especially digital cameras, at once they began to make pictures. They showed me a photo album from Toronto (Pete and Diane) gave them, very nice pictures, girls enjoyed staying there. I will send you pictures, I took a camera and this week I will develop all pictures and send you. Ella and Zhanna have also signed you cards.
They thanked all people who collected money. I stayed in the bedromm with Ella and Masha, Zhanna and Katia are living next room. Girls always share clothes and things and seem kind and polite. They have a dog which sometimes sleeps with them and domestic rats. They all love pets.
Teachers were friendly and thanked for help, everytime they have good attitude to us. I am glad that Vicki helped me to go shopping and choose clothes. On Saturday it was raining heavily and we were wet. It was snowy and watery on the ground, but we did it. On Sunday it was snowy and slippery. In the morning Zhanna, Ella and Katia went with me to the market and again we did shopping. We also bought clothes and fruit, candies for smaller kids ( you remember Slavik and his brother who always climb) and they were happy to get toy-cars and pencils. Of course, we cannot help each kid but we try to make them happier. Please, tell everyone who gave money thanks. Little kids were very happy and joyful for toys.
I think that in April or May Vicki and I will go to visit them again, but this time if you do not mind we'll organise a little party with a cake and will drink tea together and will have games and socialising.
Dawn and Mark, you are wonderful people I have ever met in my life, I think everything will be O.K. Girls love you and want to live with you, when I was reading your Christmas cards they were listening attentively. Mark is a great father.
Love, you
Valya,
And thanks for praying for our trip.

That just about says it all, doesn't it? We are thankful that God is in control. We look forward to bringing our girls home. Thank you for your prayers, and please keep praying! God is so good.
Dawn

2009-01-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

A New Year. A New start. Everything new, fresh, clean. Why am I feeling so "un-new" then? I think it's because, humanly, I still get bogged down with self. So much of my thinking is all about self, instead of about God. I, myself, keep me from experiencing "newness!" Christ has come to make all things new, but I get in the way.

I think I've been pondering this today, on the Sunday afternoon after New Year's, and before the Monday morning back to school because I get so overwhelmed with "my feelings." Although I enjoy teaching, I'm feeling dread about going back to school tomorrow. I've enjoyed the leisure of the holiday weeks so much. Going back to the everyday grind does not encourage feelings of "newness."

I also dread saying goodby to Annie and Nathan tomorrow. We've totally enjoyed them being home the last two weeks. We went to see movies, we played games, we stayed up late talking, we slept-in late and we enjoyed eating way too much. They'll both be driving back to Texas tomorrow, and I know the house will be very quiet this week. That doesn't encourage feelings of "newness." That just makes me feel old and sad.

Even thoughts of "New Year's Resolutions" and a desire to make physical and emotional changes, while bringing some energy, doesn't bring "newness." It also brings feelings of apprehension about the fear of failure and concern about what people think about me.

There it is again . . . me. I can't feel new because of "me." The apostle Paul said, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the old has gone, the NEW has come!" II Corinthians 5:17. My problem is that I keep forgetting that I am in Christ! I keep feeling that I'm in ME!

So, for today, (and tomorrow and everyday after) I will choose to die to myself and remember that I am in Christ as a NEW creation, and my feelings are just feelings, but my goal is to glorify Him in all things. That helps to get my focus off me and put it on Him in total trust and confidence as He leads and guides me and provides for me each day of my life.

This focus has to be applied to our continued efforts at the adoption, as well as every other aspect of our lives. I reported in the last posting of this blog that our homestudy would be finalized and sent to us soon. Well, it still hasn't happened. But rather than fret and fume, we must simply trust that, as new creatures in Christ, it is all under control! God will take care of the timing and the details! He has a plan.

One of the unexpected events of that plan occured over the holidays. We learned the week before Christmas that Zhanna and Ella would be going to Canada for the holidays. That's all the information we were given at first. We had all kinds of questions: Who were they going with? Why and how were they going? Who was paying their way?, etc., etc., etc. We even had thoughts that another family was trying to adopt them. However, a few days later, we received an email from a couple in Canada by the names of Diane and Pete. They explained that they are in the process of adopting a girl from Ukraine, named Katia, who is a friend of Zhanna and Ella. Katia has been to Canada for the past two summers through a special exchange program, but this family is just now pursuing adoption. The family paid for Katia and our girls to all fly to Canada for the Christmas Holidays!

What started as a negative quickly turned to a positive. We've communicated via email for the past two weeks with the girls, sending pictures and letters back and forth. We talked on the phone a few times, and although the language is an issue, it was just a blessing to hear their voices. Zhanna played a song on the piano for us, and we received pictures of them ice skaking and playing. I'm attaching a picture of Zhanna, Katia, and Ella on ice skates.

They will be returning to Ukraine on January 7, and Valya plans to travel to Mariupol to see them on January 10. She will finally be able to take our Christmas presents to the girls. I'm anxious to hear how they respond.

So, there you go . . . all things new. We must simply put it all into God's hands and trust that "He's the Man with the Plan!" It's amazing that when I get the focus off "me" and trust in "Him" I "feel" so much better!

One last message before I go. Christ also gave us a message about newness. He said, "A NEW command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35. Could it be that when we get our minds off ourselves and think about loving each other, we then feel the "newness" of what Christ came to do in us? I believe that to be true.

Happy NEW Year! May Christ live in you and in me and in all of us. May we love each other more in 2009. We continue to appreciate your prayerful support on behalf of our family and Zhanna and Ella.

Peace and Blessings to you,
Dawn

Hallelujah!

2008-12-05T18:13:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah, praise the Lord! I know I just posted a couple of days ago, but we have great news! We heard from Malisa, our social worker, this morning. My second set of fingerprints were accepted by the state police, and Malisa received the results. Our homestudy should be completed by next week!

We are so thankful and are praising God. This was the hinge upon which the rest of our dossier preparation was waiting on! We can now proceed with the rest of the immigration bureau application. We will have to have fingerprinting done again for that. I'll keep applying vaseline!

God is so good. We had just come to the point of understanding that we needed to let go and quit fretting and worrying, and to let Him have total contol. That is when God can rush in and work! I don't know why it is so hard for me to remember that! I always try to handle things myself, rather than giving it up to Him. But, invariably, when I let go and give it all to God, it all works out swiftly and beautifully.

Thank you for all your prayers! Be sure to thank God on our behalf! We're also thanking God for the wonderful donations that continue to come in toward the adoption. We are so blessed.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIm and He will make your paths straight."

Blessings to all,
Dawn and Mark

Season of Advent

2008-12-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

We continue to wait and ponder. This adoption process takes so long. But I am reminded that it took a long time for God to be able to adopt us as his children. It was a season of waiting. Advent – the waiting for the arrival of the Messiah.

Many Christian traditions celebrate this season of Advent. There is reflection on the season every Sunday in the four weeks before Christmas. Each week a different facet of Advent is considered – hope, faith, joy, and love.

This season of Advent has become increasingly clear to me this year. We have hope that our girls in Ukraine will be ours. We have faith that God is at work in all of this. We anticipate the joy of reunion. Our love is already established for the girls, and will most certainly grow as we bring them home to be our daughters.

God had hope that all souls on Earth would come to know His son, and accept Him. He had faith in His son, Jesus, and knew Jesus would increase the faith of people in the world. God anticipates the joy of reunion with us, as He most likely anticipated the joy of reunion with Jesus. God so loved the world that He gave His own son.

In the season of Advent the world waited – not understanding the glory of what they were waiting for. The world had no idea that God was coming into the world in the form of a newborn baby born in a manger. The humility of it all is the most glorious aspect.

Consider the stunning proclamation given to the shepherds in Luke, chapter 2: “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.’

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’

We have hope, faith, joy and love as we wait. Please pray for us and for God’s leading. We are still waiting on the homestudy. We are doing as much as we can without it, but can’t proceed too much farther until the homestudy is done.

We’re so grateful for the hope, faith, joy and love that our friends, family and Christian brothers and sisters have shared with us. Thank you.
Much love,
Dawn

Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T17:51:00.000-08:00

We have so much to be thankful for this year! God is so amazing and has been so good to us.

Little did we know a year ago what God would bring our way in a year. We had no idea we would have been to Ukraine and back, and that He would have brought two girls to us that we hope will become our daughters!

Actually this journey began about two years ago. We knew that the year 2008 would be a special one for our family. Mark and I would be celebrating our 30th anniversary, and Annie would graduate from High School and Nathan would graduate from college. We talked about what we could do to celebrate this big year. At first we thought about a cruise.

But as time went on we all came to feel that if we were going to spend that kind of money we would rather use it to do something beneficial for others, rather than just have fun ourselves. We began to think about a mission trip. We had no idea where we would go, but we all began to pray about it.

Our prayers were answered last December when 10 college students from Lubbock Christian University came to stay overnight with us during a choir tour. They were all talking about a mission trip to Ukraine in the summer. When we expressed interest they said, "You should come! We need more people on our team, especially adults!" So our decision was made.

We applied and received information from Eastern European Missions. We became part of "Team Inspire" and began to prepare to leave for Ukraine on July 13. We would be working in a youth camp and teaching Bible lessons and giving Bibles to the children.

The experience of our family going to Ukraine was life-changing. It was not nearly as comfortable and luxurious as a cruise would have been. I'm sure the food was not at all what the food on a cruise would have been! But Mark and I and Nathan and Annie all agreed that the blessings that came from the trip have been amazing and so much greater than a mere vacation. The blessings have been ongoing.

I think we've all grown in our faith and our trust in God this year. God has shown us that we as humans often walk around with our fists closed trying to take care of things in our own ways, but God wants us to open our fists and hold His hand. Then He can take us on wonderful faith journeys which involve great blessings.

As we struggle through this adoption process we are trying to remember those lessons of faith and trust in God. He will bring this all about, because it is all from Him. We are so thankful for what He is doing.

We're thankful we are growing a relationship with our girls. We've met a woman here in Albuquerque who is originally from Russia. She has translated the letters and drawings the girls have sent to us. Her name is Anjella, and she has been so gracious to help us. Our dear Valya in Ukraine continues to keep our relationship with the girls growing. She has traveled to Mariupol twice by train now, and is planning to go again in a few weeks before Christmas.

We've sent gifts to Valya and the girls. It was so much fun to buy gifts for them and to mail them off. We can't wait to hear from them and to know how they feel about what we got them. I hope they will just know that we love them. We long to be with the girls face to face. It is hard to be patient. We are praying for that. However, we are so thankful that God is providing this time to grow our relationship with them. They are really becoming our daughters!

We are extremely thankful for our dear Christian brothers and sisters and all the support we are receiving throughout this endeavor. The Riverside congregation has set up a fund that people continue to contribute to. As of this past week we have half of what we anticipate as needed expenses - $14,000! It is unbelievable to see such an outpouring of generosity from sweet people - especially during a time of economic struggles. We are so grateful.

Yes, God is so good to us. He has truly blessed us this past year. I pray that He will show us ways to bless others more as we continue to learn how to keep our fists open and hold His hand.

May you all know God's blessings. Happy Thanksgiving! Face each day with gratitude!
Love, Dawn

Education

2008-10-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

The adoption process drags merrily along. I went today for my second round of fingerprints. The first set were not acceptable because my fingertips are too dry. I wanted to yell, "Hey, come on guys! I'm a good person. To prove it, I have dry fingertips because I'm a teacher and wash my hands every chance I get throughout the day and handle paper all day long, everyday. Doesn't that count for anything on the self-sacrifice scale? Dry fingertips are an occupational hazard for a good teacher!" I don't think it would have done any good to share that insight with the federal authorites or the fingerprinting personnel. So, when the request came for another set of fingerprints I just slathered on vaseline for several days and went back. I still have dry fingerprints! I'll send this set in and keep using the vaseline. I may need another set. It's crazy.

In addition to getting an education about proper fingerprinting procedures, Mark and I have been learning so many new things. We are learning words like "apostil" (a special notary designation only given through the Secretary of State's office), initials "USCIS" (stands for United States Citizenship and Immigration Services), and "dossier" (the finalized packet of all of our paperwork that will be sent to Ukraine for translation and scrutiny).

We're trying to learn some Russian. Mark is very diligent about it. He takes an hour lesson every day from the CD's we purchased to learn conversational Russian. He can now say, "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" He can also say, "What would you like to buy?" Or, "I would like to have lunch in the hotel with you today." He hasn't learned to ask where the restroom is located yet, but today's lesson was about how to order beer and vodka! Mark thinks he'd better skip this lesson and go straight to the one about the bathrooms. I haven't been as good about fitting in my Russian lesson everyday, but I try to put the CD's on in the car on my drive home from work. Road rage in Russian is quite interesting! It adds a whole new dimension to an otherwise humdrum day!

Another part of our education is the social science aspect of all of this. We have met or learned of many others who have done or attempted to do what we are doing right now. We just learned of a family here in Albuquerque who adopted three sisters from Ukraine 10 years ago. The mother then wrote a book about their experiences. A friend of ours who goes to church with that family loaned us the book, and I've started reading it. How helpful it is! It really helps to know we're not alone, and to be encouraged to keep pursevering for the sake of the kids. They are worth it.

The books paints a dim view of the lives of some Ukrainian children. The three sisters in the book were not much more than toddlers when they were removed from the dirty and unsafe home of their drunken and immoral mother and placed in an orphanage. We're not sure what our own two girls have experienced, but we want to be prepared to help them through making sense of whatever their lives have been in the past. We recently received an email from someone associated with Eastern European Missions who gave us some pretty sobering statistics. He said that when the children are released from the orphanages at age 16, 20% of them commit suicide within the first year. Of those that remain, 80% of the boys wind up in the Russian mafia and 50% of the girls become prostitutes. If only we could rescue more of them. But we long to save our Jana and Ella from a future like that. We,like God, long to give our girls "a future and a hope." We long to "prosper them and not to harm them." (Taken liberally from Jeremiah 11).

The biggest lesson we are learning right now in this educational experience is patience, patience, patience. We are truly "waiting on the Lord." It is so hard. We want the girls here with us today. I walk through the stores and long to buy things for them. We think about the holidays and wonder what their experiences have been in the past and want them here to share our traditions with them and to build memories with them. We are growing in love with them more and more through our prayers for them and our thoughts of them. In our minds they are firmly and forever, "our girls."

We are prepared for whatever comes with the girls becoming part of our lives. Another term we've learned about lately is "reactive attachment disorder" (negative learned behaviors many older orphans engage in as survival skills). We didn't observe any of these behaviors in our girls, although we certainly did in many of the other orphans at the camp we were at. But we are aware that things may surface once the girls become part of our home and family. We are realizing more and more the magnitude of adjustment that the girls will have to make in leaving everything they've ever known and coming to an entirely new life. They will be amazed and astounded by much of it, but we are aware that they may go through a grieving process at the same time. They will be thrown into an entirely new and different culture, and will have to learn an entirely new language. Who knows what other educational and emotional adjustments they will have to make? We just hope and pray that the love of God, the love of a good church family and many others, and love of a real family will help them overcome whatever hardships they may face. God will give us all we need.

So, our education continues to broaden our horizons and our hearts. Growth is sometimes a painful process, but we're sure God intends for these "growing pains" to bring about two beautiful new limbs in our family tree.

God is good. Much love to all,
Dawn

Hurry up and wait!

2008-10-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

We have been playing the waiting game for about a month now. We had to rush to get fingerprints done, medical checkups, background checks, autobiographical information, and reference letters. We submitted all of that to our social worker, Malisa, (from New Mexico Christian Children's Home in Portales) the first week of September. Since then we have been waiting. But Malisa came to our home and spent the night with us Wednesday night. Yesterday afternoon she conducted our homestudy interview to follow up on the information we had already submitted. The interview took several hours.

Mark and I were somewhat nervous about this interview. Not that there was anything we were afraid of revealing. But the questions are very probing - dealing with issues from our past and situations we've experienced in our life and our marriage. It was as if we had been turned inside out and upside down and shaken. Malisa is very nice and is just doing her job, but whew! We were emotionally spent when the interview was over.

Malisa will now gather the rest of our information and write a full report about our life and family. When that is finished we can begin working on the International part of the adoption. This will all be done through Cornerstone Adoption Agency in Florida. They specialize in International adoptions and have facilited many adoptions from Ukraine, so they are very familiar with all the requirements and regulations of the Ukrainian government.

We are working on a very tight timeframe. We have to have all of our background checks, reports and paperwork completed by December in order to send it to Ukraine to be translated. The translation will take place in January. February is the only month in which the Ukrainian government considers adoption requests. If we want the adoption to take place this year everything has to be in order and ready to be considered by the first of February. Then, from what we understand, Ukraine only allows 1500 children to be adopted, within the country or internationally, each year. When we consider the needle in the haystack aspect of all of this it seems overwhelming. But God is so much in control of this! He brought us to it and He will bring us through it. We continue to walk by faith and not by sight.

If all goes well and we are approved for adoption by Ukraine in February, then we will have to go back to get the girls in the summer. We've been told that we will have to spend at least 30 days in the country. Part of that time we would be in Kiev where the national adoption board is. We would probablly have court appearances, etc. When we are released from Kiev we would travel to Mariupol (by plane to Donesk and then by train to Mariupol, where the orphanage is located). We will probably spend a couple of weeks there, finalizing all the girls' information and appearing in court with them. Only when all that is finished can we bring them home. But even after we have them with us we'll have regular checks on our family and on the girls to see how they are doing. The girls will remain Ukrainian citizens until they are 18, when they will choose which country they want to claim for citizenship.

We are convinced that God has chosen these girls for us. He is forging our relationship with them. Thanks to our dear Valya, we received a packet of letters and drawing from the girls two days ago. Most of it is in Russian, so we will need to find someone to translate, but the drawings are so expressive! We could make out "Mama" and "Papa" on most of the pages. On one paper they had drawn 6 faces and labeled "Papa," "Mama," Nathan, Annie, Zhanna and Ella. Our family! How all these things touched our hearts! We feel so connected to the girls and long to hold them and hug them and give them our love. We pray for patience as we hurry up and wait.

Our great appreciation to all who have been praying for us and the girls. Others have shared encouragement and cards and gifts to remind us to trust in God and that He is at work. We are so grateful to those who have given donations toward the adoption. Almost $8000 has been given so far. Praise God! We've already had to submit about $5000 to Cornerstone to begin the process, but it was supplied at just the right time.

We thank you and we praise our God in heaven for His abundance and joy as we continue to be led by Him! The waiting isn't so bad when friends join in the journey.

Much love to all,
Dawn

Our Girls!

2008-09-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

The process for the adoption seems intermitable, even though we have only been at it for about a month and a half. We've filled out the paperwork for the homestudy (the U.S. part of the adoption process). We are now just waiting for the social worker to get all our letters of reference and background check information back before she can schedule a meeting with us. Once the homestudy appointment is made then we can contact the adoption agency in Florida to begin sending us the paperwork we need to complete for the International part of it. Please pray that all this will move along expediently. We're patiently anxious!

We have heard from the girls! One of the translators who worked with us last summer went to visit the orphanage where the girls are. Valya is a teacher in Ukraine, and is a Christian. We are so appreciative that she was willing to do this for us. She blessed us by taking the time to travel and to serve as a bridge between us and the girls. She sent us an email as soon as she returned to her home. I will just let her words speak because they tell the story more powerfully than I can.

Dear Dawn and Mark,
It was a nice trip to Mariupol. I came on Saturday at 1p.m. It took about six hours to get to this town. Vova, Zhenya, and Vova's father were waiting for me at the bus station. We had a lunch and at once came to the orphanage. Before going to girls I wrote a letter to them that I was going to visit them on the 20th of September. They were waiting for me and I had a conversation with them, gave them many hugs. I tried to be calm, but in side I was almost crying. I read a translation of your letter, asked girls to write the answer. They miss you very much and love you very much. They want to go to America and be your daughters. Zanna and Ella showed me their day-books and copy-books. They are studying well. A teacher, who looks after all girls, allowed me to come inside the building and girls showed me their rooms. Zanna lives in a separate room from Ella, next to Ella's. The rooms are clean, there are four beds, a wardrobe and bed-side tables with shelves. Ella lives with another girl.
All kids live and study at the same building in different wings. This is a three-storyed building. The canteen is on the ground floor. There is a TV set in the big room.
Dawn, I will send and translate the leters from girls, they also drew many pictures for both of you. In their drawings they call you mama and daddy.

This is Zanna's letter
Dear Mark and Dawn,
We were very happy and glad to get your letter from Valya. We miss you very much. We will be waiting only for you. Everything is OK with us. We also want to see you, always remember our time spent at the camp "Little Hawk". We told everyone about our classes and what you told us about God. We want to be your daughters. We study English at the orphanage. We want to see you as soon as possible.
When Ella and I think about you we are always crying and wait when you take us. We still have Bibles and read them. At first we thought that you had forgotten us, but when Valya brought a letter from you, we thought that you would never forget us. We are waiting for you and love you.

This is Ella's letter
Dear Mark and Dawn,
I am very glad that you have decided to take us in your family. We want you to become our parents. We miss you so much. And if you have a chance, take us to America for summer hoidays. We pray every day. I kiss you.

Dawn, girls answered your questions
Ella's favourite color is yellow; Zanna's favourite color is pink. Their favourite subjects are History and English. They do not like Maths. Zanna likes reading encyclopedia and Ella - fairy-tales. Zanna and Ella likes singing and knitting. Zanna is going to perform in the concert soon. They both like sports.

I think that in November the 8th I will visit girls again and for sure before the Christmas time it is necessary to bring some candies and little presents. My students will help with shampoo and soap and other things.
Today in the morning I visited girls again, they gave me your letters and drawings. We again talked and at 11.30 I went to the bus station. I came home at 7 p.m.
I took pictures of girls and I am going to send them to you.
I love you,
Valya

Needless to say, Mark and I were in tears as we read this. God is graciously opening up their hearts and ours to form a family. We have a better understanding now of God's feelings about us as He adopts us as His sons and daughters. He longs for us to come to know Him so that we can one day live with Him forever. We are longing for the time we can be with the girls as God longs for the time He can be with us.

Blessings to all,
Dawn

Abraham and Sarah

2008-09-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay. So we're a little older than most new parents. But 50 is not so old by Biblical standards! Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90 (and still attractive from what I read) when Isaac was born.

However, this past week Mark and I were in our office at home, both busily working on paperwork for the adoption. We were complaining because the print was small and there were so many questions to be answered. Suddenly we both looked at each other (over our reading glasses) and began to laugh like Sarah! The thought of this entire endeavor is hilarious when you take a step back and look at it.

God took a couple of very settled people who had lived in the same place for over 20 years, who had raised their children well, and who should now be looking forward to the peace and quiet of their "dotage" years. God sent these people around the world to a completely foreign country where they were uncomfortable and feeling ill-equipped to do what He had called them to do. Then He said, "Okay, now you are where I want you. You see I have something for you to do, but you have to understand that it is not your idea. You have to know that it comes completely from Me, otherwise there's no good in it." Then God brought in two young girls who could not be shaken from this couple's mind. There was some disbelief and bargaining that took place within hearts and heads, but in the end God won out. It seems that God works best in these kinds of circumstances. He loves to have the last laugh!

We've been learning so much from God these days. The first lesson is patience. This adoption paperwork process is intense and time consuming. Mark's brother Joel recently emailed. Joel and his wife, Jo, have adopted five children, so they understand completely what this is all about. Joel's words were these, "One thought that struck me when reading your blog is that the process of adoption is long and drawn out and seems very unreasonable. Anybody can have a child without any questions asked. But to adopt and provide a better future you have to go under the microscope. More info is required to adopt than to get a mortgage or go to work for the FBI. All in all, though, it isn't a bad deal because if the kids were easy to get then there would be no telling where they might end up. At least if someone is willing to put the time and effort into getting them they are more likely to really want them." Wise counsel!

It seems to us like a very long tunnel before the girls can be ours. But a friend of ours recently emailed and encouraged us to remember that this time of stress and pressure will only be for a short time. Then it will be over and the girls will be with us. That seems very Biblical to me, as well. II Corinthians 4:16-18 says, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temprary, but what is unseen is eternal."

That's another lesson. God is the author of this story. He is the One in charge here. We are merely the instruments of His great love for all His children. We're so grateful to be playing a part in this. It is humbling and gratifying. We have to believe that God was planning this several years ago. Jana and Ella told us that they were left at the orphanage by their parents three years ago. Two years ago Mark and I began to think about what our family might want to do to celebrate this very special year in which we commemorate our 30th wedding anniversary and Annie and Nathan graduate from high school and college, respectively. We originally thought about a cruise. But God kept knocking that idea down. His voice kept returning saying, "Do something for me. Do something to help others." We began to pray about a mission trip. We had no idea where to go or what to do. The team from EEM literally showed up on our doorstep one night in the form of college students from Lubbock Christian University who stayed in our home and excitedly told us about their plans for the trip. They encouraged us to come along. God planned that, too. So, there we were in Ukraine, in God's right place, at God's right time to meet the girls. Isn't He good?

Our third lesson is about opening our fists to receive His blessing. Most of us are not very good at that. We keep our fists pretty tightly closed, thinking that we will have more control that way. It's not true. Yes, it's risky to open up and go places and do things we've never done before. It's not comfortable. We may come home compelled to change our lives, for Heaven's sake! (Pun intended!) But God, the great author and perfector of our lives just waits for us to open our fists so that He can take our hands and guide us down a path that leads to new and amazing experiences and blessings we've never enjoyed before. He is our loving Father, ever ready to help us grow. All it takes is a bit of faith to let go and let Him lead. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. . . By faith Abraham, even though he was past age - and Sarah herself was barren - was enabled to become a father because he considered Him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore." Hebrews 11:1,11-12.

Abraham and Sarah had faith. Our faith is growing. God is good. He is ever present and He will hold our hands all the way. After all, this is completely His idea. Yes, Jana and Ella will be our daughters. He'll see to that!

Blessings to all,
Dawn

Changes Ahead

2008-08-28T17:52:00.001-07:00

A week ago we said goodbye to Annie on the campus of Lubbock Christian University. Nathan parted from us and drove back to Abilene that same day. Mark and I returned to Albuquerque and an empty house. The kids' closets and drawers are empty. We miss their voices, their messes, their laughter. It has been a week of adjustment for Mark and me. It has been, in many ways, like experiencing a grief, although we keep saying to each other, "They're not dead. They're only away at college!"

I shared all this with a friend at school and she said, "See, God is telling you, you need more children in your home!" I guess that's right. At any rate, it is evident and clear to us that God is at the helm of all this. Whenever we falter and doubt, He rushes in with direction and momentum.

We've struggled with several issues as of late, and God's mighty provision has poured down upon us. We were so concerned about the financial aspect of all this, but people have already been graciously contributing to the special fund that has been set up for the adoption. As of today we already have about $4300 that has been given to bring Jana and Ella home. Thank you, God! Just in time to send in the first installment to the adoption agency of $4500. We signed a contract with Cornerstone Adoption Services in Florida. They specialize in international adoptions and have experience with adopting children from Ukraine.

We have been concerned about getting a Christian social worker to do our home study. We contacted some faith - based adoption agencies here in Albuquerque to inquire about beginning the process for our home study, but they couldn't do it because it's an international adoption. We finally contacted New Mexico Christian Children's Home in Portales, and they can do our study. We feel very comfortable with them, and we will receive the paperwork soon. It is a very involved process. We must get fingerprints and background checks and medical physicals. We must give complete financial information and have references from employers and others. Mark and I and each of the kids must write up an autobiographical account of our life and family life. It will take time to get all this done, but again, we trust in God that it will all happen expediently.

We have been concerned about communicating with the girls, and hoping that they hadn't given up on us. God provided a wonderful translator for us in Ukraine by the name of Valya. Valya is a Christian, and a teacher there in Ukraine. We have been emailing and Valya told us that she is planning to travel about 3 or 4 hours to Mariupol in September to visit the orphans. She offered to translate letters to the girls so we can begin to communicate with them. We will mail her some pictures that she can also take to them. We're so thankful for this and so excited about the lines of communication being opened so we can get to know our daughters.

God is so good. He is carrying us through the adjustment of the empty nest and on to the excitement of new children. We are so thankful to Him. We continue to ask for your prayers on behalf of Jana and Ella, and all the orphans in Ukraine and all over the world. This verse seems so appropriate: "Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children." Lamentations 2:19 It is comforting to us that so many others care and are lifting the names of our children up to God for a new life. As you look at the faces of our girls, we think you will see, as we did, those gentle and quiet spirits that hunger for the love of family and God. We long to have them in our arms.

With Blessings and Grace,
Dawn

The Hand of God

2008-08-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

What a week this has been! We've been home from Ukraine only two weeks now, and have jumped fully back into our lives and activities here, all the while seeking out answers and direction concerning our desire to adopt the girls.

As we've talked about it, and shared with people we know, and asked them to pray about it, it has been amazing to us how God is answering those prayers. It seems that threads of connection are being woven all around us that lead us to the paths we need to make this happen. Last week we were given the name of a missionary who lives in Kiev as a possible source of information. He referred us to a Christian adoption agency in Florida that specializes in international adoptions. We emailed and made contact with a woman who works at the agency. She and her husband have also adopted two children from Ukraine. We made arrangements to speak with her personally by phone last Sunday afternoon. We had an hour long conversation. She was very kind, but very honest. She gave us lots of information, but also related many personal experiences of her own family and others who had adopted or attempted to adopt from Ukraine. Some experiences are positive, but others were difficult.

We learned that if we want to do this we'll need to begin the process right away and make every effort to complete the paperwork by October or November. All paperwork will have to be sent to Ukraine to be translated and finalized by January. In February the Ukrainian government looks at all adoption applications, both nationally and internationally. They only allow around 1500 children to be adopted in or from Ukraine each year, so it is very important that the paperwork be there and finalized, or we would have to wait another year and begin the whole process again. She also told us that it will cost about $25,000 to adopt the two girls. Mark and I agreed that we wanted to begin the process, so she emailed us the application and contract forms.

Mark and I talked about it more that evening, and discussed all the pros and cons. School started here on Monday, so I was back in the classroom. I don't know if I was feeling stressed from that, or still dealing with adjustment and lack of sleep from travel, in addition to "hitting the ground running" when we returned. Whatever it was, I began to have doubts about the whole "adoption thing" on Tuesday. I think I just panicked a little when I thought about how involved the whole process would be, including the money. I talked to my sister, Debbie, on Tuesday evening and she was asking all kinds of pointed questions about the process and life beyond - when we'd actually have the girls with us to raise. I realized as I was talking to her that having the responsibility for the girls once they are with us is not worrying me at all. What I was worried about was the process of getting there. As I hung up the phone I knew I was struggling and needed to pray about it. I prayed that if this was God's will that He would make it all clear, and if I was having a lack of faith, He would just show me that He's taking care of it.

Well, God really showed me! Mark called me at school at lunchtime on Wednesday and said he had talked to Jackie, who works for Eastern European Missions (EEM) and went on the trip with us. She just learned of a family living in their town who had adopted three children from Ukraine. She gave Mark their number. Mark called this woman, and found out that not only had they adopted from Ukraine, but from the very same orphanage (Mariupol) that our girls are in, and not only that, their two new daughters know our girls and longed for them to be adopted, too! This woman, Rhonda, told Mark that she had some contacts in Ukraine, and she would inquire to try to find out if Jana and Ella are truly adoptable. She promised to call us back soon. On Friday she called back and told us her contact is almost 100% certain that our girls are adoptable, and not only that, their paperwork is already in order to allow that! Isn't God good?

It was if God was saying very clearly, "Just trust in Me! I've got it under control, and this is what I want you to do!" My faith lapse was turned around very quickly! In additon to all this, we are learning through many contacts, of people in Albuquerque who speak Russian, and would be willing to help with language when the girls come. We had no idea that there was anyone in Albuquerque who spoke Russian! God is putting together all the pieces of the puzzle beautifully. We've stepped out in faith, and it is exciting! All we have to do is hang on and enjoy the ride!

As to the finances, many people this week have asked us if we are going to start a fund to help with this. Everyone has been so gracious and excited for us. I think this is God's way of letting others grow in the joy and grace of this experience along with us. So, we've started a fund through our church to help with expenses. If you'd care to contribute please send your donation to:

Riverside church of Christ
3100 La Orilla NW
Albuquerque, NM 87120
(earmark your check - adoption fund)
These donations would all be tax deductable for charity.

More than anything, we appreciate your prayers. Please pray for God's continued leading and for our wisdom to follow. Please pray for Nathan and Annie as they go away to college this week and have this to think about as well as everything else. Please pray for Jana and Ella, that God will give them peace and hope, and that they won't think we've forgotten them. Thank you, friends and family. We'll continue to share as God leads us down this new, exciting and blessed path. Your support means so much!

Love, Dawn and family

Back Home!

2008-08-13T17:52:00.001-07:00

August 10,
Hi everyone!

We're home from 3 weeks in Ukraine! Our trip was challenging and amazing. We all four feel so blessed to have been able to go.

The conditions were difficult. Picture this: 30 or more people (some who only spoke Russian) sharing a dirty bathroom with one shower and 2 toilets. No tools or cleaning products available and no privacy. Sleeping in 55-year old sagging metal beds with torn and stained sheets and woolen blankets. That was a challenge.

Picture this: Pushing and shoving your way onto a crowed Soviet-era bus where everyone is standing, the windows are closed, everyone must hold onto overhead bars, and no one wears deodorant. You are an armpit away from the next person! Whew! Two buses we rode on broke down in the middle of the route. The driver got out and tried to tinker with the engine, but pretty soon everyone just got out and walked to the next bus stop to wait for another bus. That was challenging.

Picture this: Eating a mystery-meat-meatball every morning, along with cold oatmeal or barley with 2 chunks of cucumber on the side. No cold drinks, only hot, and no refrigeration available. Heat in the high 90's. That was challenging.

Picture this: Working with 55 orphans at the camp, many of whom were literally climbing the rafters and grabbing everything in sight. They needed to be taught manners desperately, but we didn't speak the language. The best we could do was lovingly and firmly show them how to behave. They hung onto us.

But picture this: Russian- speaking orphans who latch onto you and immediately begin calling you "Mama." Sweet smiles and hugs in abundance. Bibles given to the kids who will stand in line for an hour to get one, and then immediately sit down and begin reading them. Some of the kids read their Russian children's Bible within a day, and came back and asked for an adult Bible.

Picture this: Working with the oldest kids in the camp (non-orphans who were 15 or 16 years old). These were the star soccer players and dancers and fun leaders of the kids at camp. But given a choice of going to play sports or come to our class and do child-like crafts, they came to our class. It was hilarious to watch the big boys juggle the craft on their lap (no tables), and put the stickers on. Even these kids are hungry for love and attention.

Then picture this: The morning our team was preparing to leave the camp, nearly all the children - big and little rushed out to the front gates where we drug our luggage to wait for the bus. They were crying and we were crying. They would hold onto us, saying "Don't go!" in Russian. We would hug them and tell them, "Ya lyoobof vas," which means "We love you all." As we finally got on the bus and looked out the windows all the kids were waving their arms with tears streaming down their faces, and they ran after the bus as it pulled away.

That is our experience in a nutshell. We have so much more to tell, and I'm sure we will as time goes on. The travel alone was quite a grueling adventure. But for now I just want to share with you that Mark and I are considering adopting 2 of the orphan girls we met. They are sisters and their names are Jana (pronounced Zhana) and Ella. They are 12 and 11 years old. They've been in the orphanage for 3 years. We talked to them with the help of our translator, and they gave us information, but we're not 100% sure they are really adoptable or not. However, we are going to pursue this as fervently as we can. These two girls reached a special place in our hearts. They are both beautiful and gentle and loving. Our translators told us if we can adopt girls, do it. When they reach the age of 16 the orphanage puts them out on their own, and many of them resort to prostitution. That simply perpetuates the cycle of the children in the orphanages. We have a home and love to give and we feel we could make a difference in the lives of these girls. Nathan and Annie are all for it, as well. So, please pray about that for us, will you?

Well, just wanted to touch base and let you know of our adventure. Our normal life and routine seems so insignificant compared to what we've seen and experienced, but we're getting back into it. School starts again here tomorrow, so I'm back in the classroom already. Nathan leaves to go back to Abilene next Monday. We take Annie to Lubbock Christian next Tuesday the 19th. We'll have an empty nest for awhile, but then maybe God will fill it again!

Love,
Dawn and family