Monday, May 10, 2010

Reflection from a Mom


Yesterday was Mother's Day. A good day to reflect on the current state of my family. This is my first Mother's Day as the mom of 4 kids. Two years ago on Mother's Day we attended Annie's graduation from high school. I remember clearly, thinking to myself, "Well, this is it. My big job as a mom is over. Now Mark and I face the empty nest." God laughed! Little did I know that a mere 2 months later I would meet my 2 additional children!

Then last year, we spent Mother's Day in Abilene, Texas, having just attended Nathan's graduation from college. After going to church that Sunday morning we had to say our good-byes to Nathan, knowing we were flying to Kiev less than a week later. We had spent a year of intense preparation and paperwork. Our hearts were full of excitement and anticipation, and the nervousness of facing the unknown. We looked forward to bringing home our sweet, sensitive, quiet, well-behaved girls and looking ahead at years of helping them adjust and learn English. Again, God laughed.

This year, Mother's Day was the best ever. Annie and Nathan arrived home on Saturday night, along with Mark, who had driven to Lubbock early that morning to help Annie load all her stuff, and then driven back with the kids that afternoon. When they arrived home, Zhanna and Ella and I all ran out to greet them. We had been cleaning house all day and the girls were feeling the excitement and anticipation of the family all being home together. Going to bed that night was joyful for me, knowing all my "chicks" were in the nest.

Yesterday we went to church in the morning and had Mark's parents over to our house for lunch, but they brought the Kentucky Fried Chicken. It was just a sweet simple time of togetherness and I kept looking around the table and pondering at the magnitude of God who brought us all together as family. Last night, before bed, the kids and Mark and I sat around the couch in the living room and talked and laughed and sang songs and poked fun at each other and giggled and prayed. Zhanna and Ella took part in it all, as if they had always been a part of the family. What a sweet Mother's Day memory!

Our girls are growing so much. They are definitely not the shy, quiet, reluctant children who entered our home last summer. They are good students and speak English very well now. They are bold, silly, giggly, sometimes loud, sometimes crabby, full of fun, typical teenagers now. Other than their accents, you would never know they were not American kids. They like hamburgers and pizza and movies and game rooms and clothes and makeup and video games and computers and electronics and hanging out with their friends. They were on the basketball team at school this year and "had a ball" with that. They joined the new choir at school and Zhanna sang a solo at the concert. They were both in the school musical and did a great job.

They have changed our home. The nest is full. Very full! Actually, Annie just made the decision to move back home and attend the local university, rather than go back to Texas in the fall. She wants to be closer to us and the girls. So, all of her belongings must find a spot to rest, once again. This is challenging, because when we moved everything out of Nathan's room to paint and remodel for the girls, I moved some things like wrapping paper, etc., that I had stored in his closet, to Annie's closet. Now that she's home, whew! I don't know where this kind of stuff can go. But we'll get creative, and it will all work. In the whole scheme of life, a shortage of storage space is not a big problem. Having a house full of the energy of family is well worth it!

Now, we do have our challenges in the "stuff" department, however. Namely, the ever swirling, ever seething sea of things that is part of family life. Especially because the girls have never had a lot to keep up with before, and now they don't always understand the need to pick up after oneself continually and keep up with one's own stuff. They also don't really understand the concept of throwing away and down-sizing one's belongings. At this point they want to keep everything, even the little junky "kid" stuff that accumulates so quickly. I must confess, I sometimes throw stuff away when I find it lying around. But then there are the inevitable questions, "Where's my ________??" At that point I can honestly answer, "I don't know!" The most annoying items for me to find lying around all over the house are hair ties, bobby pins, pens, pencils, notes from friends, jewelry, shoes, and food wrappers. It requires constant vigilence and reminders to "pick up your _________ and put (throw) it away." But as I watch other families and other kids, I am reminded that this is not unique to our kids. This is a common kid condition. I had just gotten out of practice of dealing with it since our older two had either been gone for several years, or had learned to keep their stuff in their own room a bit more consistently. Zhanna and Ella will learn, too.

My energy level is lower with these two kids, now that I'm older. But I think my patience and wisdom levels are higher, praise be to God. I guess that all balances out. The girls seem happy and settled and content and "at home." A good friend of ours, who teaches the girls' Sunday School class asked them yesterday, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you feel about your family and your church family, after being here almost a year?" Our friend told us Zhanna and Ella both responded, enthusiastically, "10!" That helps us to know that all is well and the girls are comfortable and feeling that they belong.

One more sweet Mother's Day memory: Yesterday evening, walking to church. All 4 of my children walking along with me. Zhanna and Nathan have linked arms and Ella and Annie have linked arms. They are laughing and enjoying being family. God is with them. We are happy. God is good. There is peace. We praise God for His miracles.