A New Year. A New start. Everything new, fresh, clean. Why am I feeling so "un-new" then? I think it's because, humanly, I still get bogged down with self. So much of my thinking is all about self, instead of about God. I, myself, keep me from experiencing "newness!" Christ has come to make all things new, but I get in the way.

I think I've been pondering this today, on the Sunday afternoon after New Year's, and before the Monday morning back to school because I get so overwhelmed with "my feelings." Although I enjoy teaching, I'm feeling dread about going back to school tomorrow. I've enjoyed the leisure of the holiday weeks so much. Going back to the everyday grind does not encourage feelings of "newness."

I also dread saying goodby to Annie and Nathan tomorrow. We've totally enjoyed them being home the last two weeks. We went to see movies, we played games, we stayed up late talking, we slept-in late and we enjoyed eating way too much. They'll both be driving back to Texas tomorrow, and I know the house will be very quiet this week. That doesn't encourage feelings of "newness." That just makes me feel old and sad.

Even thoughts of "New Year's Resolutions" and a desire to make physical and emotional changes, while bringing some energy, doesn't bring "newness." It also brings feelings of apprehension about the fear of failure and concern about what people think about me.

There it is again . . . me. I can't feel new because of "me." The apostle Paul said, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the old has gone, the NEW has come!" II Corinthians 5:17. My problem is that I keep forgetting that I am in Christ! I keep feeling that I'm in ME!

So, for today, (and tomorrow and everyday after) I will choose to die to myself and remember that I am in Christ as a NEW creation, and my feelings are just feelings, but my goal is to glorify Him in all things. That helps to get my focus off me and put it on Him in total trust and confidence as He leads and guides me and provides for me each day of my life.

This focus has to be applied to our continued efforts at the adoption, as well as every other aspect of our lives. I reported in the last posting of this blog that our homestudy would be finalized and sent to us soon. Well, it still hasn't happened. But rather than fret and fume, we must simply trust that, as new creatures in Christ, it is all under control! God will take care of the timing and the details! He has a plan.

One of the unexpected events of that plan occured over the holidays. We learned the week before Christmas that Zhanna and Ella would be going to Canada for the holidays. That's all the information we were given at first. We had all kinds of questions: Who were they going with? Why and how were they going? Who was paying their way?, etc., etc., etc. We even had thoughts that another family was trying to adopt them. However, a few days later, we received an email from a couple in Canada by the names of Diane and Pete. They explained that they are in the process of adopting a girl from Ukraine, named Katia, who is a friend of Zhanna and Ella. Katia has been to Canada for the past two summers through a special exchange program, but this family is just now pursuing adoption. The family paid for Katia and our girls to all fly to Canada for the Christmas Holidays!

What started as a negative quickly turned to a positive. We've communicated via email for the past two weeks with the girls, sending pictures and letters back and forth. We talked on the phone a few times, and although the language is an issue, it was just a blessing to hear their voices. Zhanna played a song on the piano for us, and we received pictures of them ice skaking and playing. I'm attaching a picture of Zhanna, Katia, and Ella on ice skates.

They will be returning to Ukraine on January 7, and Valya plans to travel to Mariupol to see them on January 10. She will finally be able to take our Christmas presents to the girls. I'm anxious to hear how they respond.

So, there you go . . . all things new. We must simply put it all into God's hands and trust that "He's the Man with the Plan!" It's amazing that when I get the focus off "me" and trust in "Him" I "feel" so much better!

One last message before I go. Christ also gave us a message about newness. He said, "A NEW command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35. Could it be that when we get our minds off ourselves and think about loving each other, we then feel the "newness" of what Christ came to do in us? I believe that to be true.

Happy NEW Year! May Christ live in you and in me and in all of us. May we love each other more in 2009. We continue to appreciate your prayerful support on behalf of our family and Zhanna and Ella.

Peace and Blessings to you,
Dawn