Adjustments and Settling in

We've been home a week now. What a whirlwind of a week it has been - for all of us! Zhanna and Ella love their new big brother and sister, Nathan and Annie. They want to do almost everything with them. The girls vacilate from being happy and excited about their new life and all the new aspects of it, to being timid and afraid of new experiences. In many ways it is like having two 4-year-olds in slightly larger bodies running around trying everything out in our home. We almost crashed the computer a few days ago. Day before yesterday a CD was pushed into the stereo without being properly aligned and it got stuck. Mark had to take the stereo apart to get it out, but thankfully, the CD and the stereo were both fine. My jewelry box has been raided, and I've had to be very clear about learning to ask before you just help yourself.

We are happy the girls are feeling comfortable and are making themselves at home, but we have to teach them to respect other people's belongings and personal space. I'm not sure they have ever learned that before. Their early life certainly didn't give them any lessons in respectful personal space, and their life at the orphanage was all about "share and share alike." Another new lesson is learning how to approach life in a calm and peaceful way. At the orphanage the pace was either abruptly frantic or incredibly dull. Meals were eaten as quickly as possible and then it was on to other things. There was no such thing as sitting and visiting and socializing. It was run, run, run, or numb your mind by horribly boring and often inappropriate TV.

Since they've been here, they have been watching and enjoying some of the classic Disney videos. They especially like "The Little Mermaid," and "Beauty and the Beast." Mark has a bicycle and Ella got on it right away and began to ride. She has long enough legs that the boys' style bicycle is not a problem for her. Zhanna, however, is having a harder time. She apparently, never learned how to ride on the one old bicycle they all shared at the orphanage. Her legs are also shorter than Ella's, so she simply couldn't manuever the large bicycle. However, someone from church gave us a smaller girls' bicycle for her to learn on and she's catching on quickly, with just a little help. It won't be long before she's as proficient as Ella. We plan to get them both their own bikes sometime in the near future.

Food has been another issue. They were both eating a lot while we were in Kiev, but food here has not been the same. They both like eggs, so for a couple of days they were living on scrambled eggs and toast. We went to the grocery store and tried to get foods they would like, but when we try them at home they say they don't like them. Often, Ella will just look at something I have prepared and say "I no like." It's been a challenge to get her, especially, to try new things. Zhanna is more adventurous in being willing to taste new foods. I made lasagna the other night and neither of the girls thought they would like it, but after they tried it they ate it well. Last night I made a complete Ukrainian meal with verenyky dumplings and fried potatoes and onions, and cabbage and cucumber slaw and sliced tomatoes. They ate and ate and ate! Ella said, "Ukrainian food luchay (better)!" They asked if we could have Ukrainian food all the time. I said not all the time, but hopefully often.

If Zhanna is more willing than Ella to try new foods, she is not as willing to try new activities. I think she's at the age where she is so concerned about what others will think of her, that she is hesitant in all these new experiences. We went to play Putt-Putt last night. It was a beautiful evening and we planned to just make it a fun outing - not competitive at all. We all demonstrated how to putt the ball into the hole, and not very well, at that. But when it was Zhanna's turn she almost had a melt-down. She said, "I don't can!" Then she blasted the ball so hard it came right back at her. We all just tried to be calmly encouraging and went right ahead with the game. On the second hole she settled down and saw that none of us are golf pros, either, so she began to be able to laugh at herself, just as we were all laughing at ourselves. By the end she enjoyed it so much she wanted to play another game, but we talked her into going to the game room instead. The kids won enough tickets for Zhanna and Ella to buy some sour candy and a little toy each. It was a successful night.

The girls have begun opening up and sharing information about their past with us. They've told us a lot of things about their birth family and about life at the orphanage. Some of the information they've shared about their early life is heart wrenching. I can't stand the thought of my babies having had to go through all of that. But I'm so proud of their courage and continued desire to rise above their circumstances. I think they are trusting us enough to share all this with us now. We keep reassuring them that we love them, we will never leave them, we will always help them and take care of them and provide for them. I've even been telling them made-up bedtime stories each night about princesses and mermaids and even monkeys (last night) by the names of Zhanna and Ella who have gone through hardships and danger, but the King and Queen or the Mama and Papa monkeys are there to take care of them and love them. They seem to love these stories and ask for a new one every night.

We are beginning to work on English lessons now. Our good friend and teacher, Mary, has volunteered to work with the girls all summer and when school starts to help them learn to read and understand English. She brought workbooks this morning and scrabble letter tiles and other fun things. She's left some homework for the girls to be working on, but she says they are already well on their way. We are so grateful for her help.

Right now our days are centered on the girls and their needs. It takes 4 American adults (Mark and I and Nathan and Annie) to cater to the every whim of 2 Ukrainian girls. That must all change as we begin to integrate them more and more into the family and add responsibilites and expectations. It is a challenging transition. But God's efforts in transforming us to His expectations is challenging to Him, too. He is so patient with us. We can be patient with the girls as they learn and change and grow. We love them so much.

Till next time,
Dawn and Mark

Off to Kiev We Went

As promised, I'm back to fill you in on the last few days of our adventure in Ukraine. The true title of this post should be "Oh, Ye of Little Faith." But God continues to amaze us and grow our faith. He certainly did that throughout this entire year in pursuit of adopting Zhanna and Ella, but especially those last few days of our quest.

Last Thursday, June 18 (it seems SO much longer than that), we, and the girls got up early and packed all our bags. We were ready by 8:30. Tanya arrived and we stuffed our suitcases and our new children into her car and set off for one intensely long day. Our first stop was the office building at which the addendum to the court decree was being finalized and attached to the official, original decree. We needed that addendum in order to get the birth certificates. We arrived and walked into a hallway crowded with all different types of people. We were thinking, "Oh no. This will take forever. We are under such a time crunch if we want to take the train to Kiev tonight." However, Tanya went in to see the woman who was working on our documents. It had been prearranged that we would pick up the documents as early as possible. We had to leave the girls sitting on chairs in the hallway as Mark and I and Tanya went in to the woman's office. The process she had to go through to attach our documents was incredibly cumbersome and time consuming. In America we would simply use a large stapler. But in Ukraine they have women who actually sew the documents together using an awl to punch the holes and sew with white twine and a large needle. When the documents are sewn the woman had to type out a label on a small typewriter that certifies she is the one who sewed the documents. She signed that and glued it around the spine of the document where the stitches were. That process took about an hour. Whew!

After we had the document in hand, it was off to the town of Velikaya Novoselka to obtain the girls' new birth certificates. The trip marked the 5th time we had traveled that road. Even though it was a two hour trip and we felt pressure each time, we still enjoyed the view all along the journey. The fields looked much different than they had a month earlier. They are filled with corn and wheat and sunflowers and soybeans, all about halfway to their maturity. The sky was a bright blue with white, fluffy clouds. On each trip we saw different animals and flowers. We loved seeing a family of turkeys crossing the road, with a mama, a daddy and about 20 little ones. We also saw a man driving an old fashioned open wooden wagon with a large shaggy horse pulling it. Just down the road we saw a man and a woman who had driven an all terrain vehicle into a hilly field to milk the cows there. Truly entertaining! The first time we drove that road we had seen lilacs and irises. This last time we saw roses and daisies and poppies and daylilies. The color against the walls of the drab, old fashioned Ukrainian houses is startling. About halfway in the journey was a village with a monastary, and the golden domes of the church reflected the sun's rays brilliantly for miles. The journey itself was beautiful and pleasant.

But obtaining the birth certificates in the town itself was another matter. It took 4 hours. Luckily, we had packed food for the girls for lunch and for dinner that night, thinking we were going to take the train. Mark and I took turns staying with them outside as they ate, and then trying to think up games and activities to keep them occupied. The facility was old, run down, and soviet style. The bathroom was hideous, but we used it, nonetheless. It was 4:30 by the time Tanya exited the office. I was certain she would say, "Well, we won't have time to go to Donetsk today to get the passports. Since tomorrow is Friday you'll just have to come back with me to Mariupol and leave on Monday." That was my lack of faith. I doubted God's ability to see us through and provide for us. But He did, and in the amazing fashion that reminds us, without a doubt, that He is God! Tanya told us to hurry and get in the car. We were driving to Donetsk!

We learned that Tanya's husband, Valari, had taken the bus from Mariupol to Donetsk in order to purchase train tickets for us. What a gift and a blessing to save us time! We were praying that he could get 4 tickets in the same sleeping compartment on the train, but again, I was very doubtful. During the summertime the train tickets go quickly, and usually you must just take what you get. However, Valari called as we were driving to Donetsk and informed us that he indeed had been able to purchase all four tickets in the same compartment. Absurd! But so God! Praises be! My faith was expanded.

The final hurdle was obtaining the passports. Vanya had called ahead and made special arrangements for the woman who makes the passports to stay late in order to process them for us. We paid a special "fee" for that. However, in that instance, it was well worth the extra payment in order to get the passports generated quickly. They were done in 45 minutes! Again, praise be to God! We made it to the 8:00 pm train with Tanya and Valari's help, and our little family was on our way to Kiev! Finally! Thank you God! We had to say good-bye to Tanya and Valari, and that was sad. They have become good friends. We are so thankful for them. They've talked about coming to America next summer. We hope they will be able to come visit us then.

We had a pleasant night on the train, eating our snacks, playing and singing with the girls, and sleeping in the rocking train compartment through the night. But we were so glad to be on our way and together as a family. The next morning, Vanya met us on the train when it arrived in Kiev at 10:00. He had arranged for a taxi and we were quickly on our way to the American Embassy to begin the process of obtaining the visas. After that initial visit to fill out paperwork we had to rush to the hospital to have the girls' medical checkups. They both had to have vaccinations as well. Poor babies! They were tired and hungry and then to have to get a shot! After the medical stuff we had to return to the embassy to try to get the visas that day. However, by that time, it was almost 3:00 and they said they would not have time. We would have to return on Monday. That was truly okay by us. We all needed to rest a little before flying home, and Mark and I wanted to do a little sightseeing and shopping.

So, Vanya had the taxi driver take us to the apartment he had rented for us. Quite comfortable and nice. He had to stay with us a few nights, so he and Mark had beds on the couch and the floor in the living room, and the girls and I slept on the bed in the bedroom. It was all quite cozy and "do-able." The one drawback was the heat, so we had to have the windows open, which brought in mosquitos. The apartment was located on a terribly busy street close to the center of Kiev - Independence Square. The street was used as a speedway at night. There was lots of engine revving and screeching tires throughout the night. We also heard lots of loud talking and laughing until about 2:00 every morning. One night Zhanna woke up next to me, after some particularly startling and loud crashing noises. She turned over and said to me, "Crazy night!" That it was!

But in spite of that, we still had fun! We were able to get out and walk to St. Sophia's cathedral and St. Michael's cathedral and St. Andrew's cathedral - all beautiful, golden-domed, and soaring with incredible architecture and art, inside and out. We went shopping at the stalls all along the cobbled streets in the part of town most frequented by tourists. We saw all kinds of Ukrainian things for sale - traditional clothing, Matriuska dolls, Pysenky eggs, wooden bowls and spoons painted beautifully with flowers and strawberries. We wanted to buy Zhanna and Ella each some Ukrainian clothing, but they would have nothing to do with it. They didn't want "Ukrainian" anything. They wanted American! We did buy a beautiful embroidered blouse for Annie, and they were pleased to help pick that out. We also went out to eat a lot. The girls ate like teenage boys! They were so hungry! I think they finally had the freedom to eat as much as they wanted and whatever they wanted. It surprised us how much they ate.

On Sunday morning we decided it would be more beneficial to us and the girls if we simply stayed in the apartment and had our own church service. Vanya chose to stay with us and it was great to have him translate for the girls. We sang songs together from the Russian/ English songbook, and then Mark shared the story of the lost sheep and told the girls that was the way we felt about them - we would do anything to bring them home with us! He also shared that Jesus felt that way about all of us, too. We shared information about Jesus and what He means to us. We also took communion together with good Ukrainian grape juice and broken crackers. We explained that we remember Jesus' body and blood and that He did what He did for us because He loves us. We told the girls that we love Jesus and we hope they will come to know Him more and more and love Him, too. The girls seemed to respond well and enjoy it.

In the afternoon, Vanya agreed to guide us to the botanical gardens in Kiev, via the subway or "Metro." The subway in Kiev is the deepest in the world. It was a long escalator ride down, and the underground stations are quite nice with chandeliers and tile mosaics done in somewhat of an Art Deco style because they were probably built during the 1920's. We enjoyed the botanical gardens very much. We probably only saw a fraction of them - all different habitats, including forest and woodland. They had a large greenhouse that included a room of cactus. It made us feel at home! Our stay in Kiev with the girls was very nice. We all had fun and spent time bonding and working through some more relationship issues. God provided everything at just the right time!

On Monday we went back to the embassy to get the visas. When we had those in our hands we were elated. That represented the last step preventing us from going home. To hold the passports and visas in our hands represented the freedom to fly!! We next headed to the Delta office to see if we could change our tickets and buy tickets for the girls. Vanya had checked at the airport two days earlier and was told there were no seats available flying out of Kiev to America for the rest of the week. However, God once again answered our prayers and provided in the most wonderful way. At the Delta office the woman at the desk did some checking and told us we could all fly to Moscow the next morning at 8:00 am, and then from there on to Atlanta, and then on to Albuquerque. Not only that, she could get us seats together on all flights. How amazing is that? So, on Tuesday morning in Kiev we woke early to begin a 24 hour journey halfway around the world to get home. It is always hard to travel that long and that far, but the girls did amazingly well.

I've already shared about our homecoming and how special that was. We are so happy to be home! I want to share more about the girls' adjustment soon, and how we see them blossoming day by day. People have told us the girls are blessed to have us, but we are blessed to have the girls. Already, they are completely and wonderfully our children. I love watching them when they don't know I'm watching them. They are beautiful and special. They are like little flowers that had been wilting somewhat in the soil they were in, but when given the water and sunlight of love they are blooming. We praise God so much! God is good and He provides. We are so thankful for all His provision and we are thankful to be home.

Love,
Dawn and Mark,
parents of four children

HOME, SWEET HOME!

We're home! We landed on home turf about 9:00 pm Tuesday night. It is so wonderful to sleep in my own bed again! It is so wonderful to deal with life from familiar surroundings and in ways that are comfortable to us. We have new eyes as we come back with with such a greater appreciation for what God has blessed us with, and the luxuries that surround us here. I hope I never take for granted anything God has given me ever again. My house feels huge. My washing machine looks huge, and I'm thankful for a dryer. My refrigerator looks huge. Our family owns 4 cars, including those of our grown children. We have an amazing variety of convenient and fresh foods ever available at a grocery store less than 5 minutes away to which we drive our car on smoothly paved streets in well controlled traffic. I have a closetful of clothes and the mall is 10 minutes away. I can afford to buy new clothes fairly often. And all these things are just the physical and material blessings. I haven't even started on the spiritual and emotional blessings.

Anyway, we were met at the airport by Nathan and Annie, and Mark's parents, and my good friend and colleague, Regina. They were holding signs written in Russian that read, "Welcome home, Mark and Dawn, Zhanna and Ella." It was more than wonderful to see them. They brought one of our 15 passenger church vans in order to carry all the people and luggage. We drove home and the girls were amazed by the lights of the city, even though they were exhausted after traveling for about 24 hours straight. As we pulled into our church parking lot, on the way to our house, we noticed cars parked there. I asked, "What's going on at the church building?" No one said a word. Then, in total shock and surprise, it occurred to us what was going on. As we pulled through the parked cars on either side, headlights went on and horns started honking. Then people got out and started waving signs and balloons. The van drove to the end of the long line of cars and we decided we'd better get out and see everyone. Mark told the girls, "Zhanna and Ella, this is all for you! People have been waiting for you to come home and they love you!"

An amazing number of our church family and my coworkers and students and families came to welcome us home. I have never witnessed a greater outpouring of agape love. It was so humbling to be the recipients of that love. We felt so blessed as our dear friends came to hug us and welcome us home and say they had missed us. Everyone tried not to overwhelm the girls, but at the same time, they wanted to meet them and tell them they had been praying for them to come home. The girls were given balloons, and new princess blankets for their beds, and flowers, and cards and many other gifts. If they were overwhelmed it was by love. I'm positive nothing like that had ever happened before in their lives.

No one stayed long. They knew we needed to get home. They said their "I love you's," and "good nights," and we headed home. As the girls walked in and went to their new room they were quiet, but had smiles on their faces. They walked into their room and said, "Wow!" They looked all around and sat down on their beds. We showed them the empty drawers and closet and told them it was all for them to use. They seemed amazed. Then they had to bounce around all over the house, looking at everything and asking questions. They liked looking at the pictures of our family when Nathan and Annie were younger. If they were feeling tired and worn out when they arrived, they didn't feel that way any longer. As a matter of fact, at midnight, as I was trying desperately to get everyone to settle down and get to bed, I asked Zhanna, "Aren't you tired, Zhanna? Don't you want to go to sleep?" She replied, "I'm not tired. I'm happy!" What do you say to that? It brought tears to our tired eyes. We praise God.

Yesterday we just hung out at the house all day, trying to reassimilate into this environment. Mark and I were feeling zoned out all day, so I'm sure Zhanna and Ella were just numb. They didn't talk very much yesterday, in either Russian or English. I think they were just trying to absorb it all. But they enjoyed playing video games with Nathan and Annie and "Babushka and Didushka" came over for a late lunch. They took a drive with Annie in the afternoon to see the area around us. They seemed content and happy.

Last night we all slept much better, and the girls woke up about 8:00 and got dressed in clean clothes and brushed and fixed their hair and made their beds without any prompting. We had a great day today. We all went grocery shopping, and then all the females in our family went shopping for clothes for Zhanna and Ella. They seemed astounded by Walmart and everything available to eat and wear there. We tried to get lots of foods that they would like and we picked out several cute outfits, along with accesories like earrings and hair ties. On the way home, I said, "Zhanna and Ella, you've been in America now for 2 days. What do you think?" They both said, "I like!"

Tonight we put on some music they liked and we all danced around the living room. Then Zhanna got ahold of the post-it notes and started writing notes to each of us. She started with stuff like "Mark funny monkey," but ended up giving each one of us a note that said, "Dawn good mom," "Mark good pop," "Nathan good brother," "Annie good sister." She ended with "All good family." What treasures! Later we watched some home videos of Nathan and Annie when they were little kids doing goofy things. Zhanna and Ella laughed and thought it was really funny.

Tonight we are all going to bed, tired and still dealing with jet lag, but happy. Zhanna and Ella are making themselves comfortable in our home and in our hearts. We feel like family.

Tomorrow I'd like to write another blog post, filling in the details about the last few days of our Ukraine adoption adventure and the ways God worked through it all. It was clearly evident that His timing was absolutely perfect. So, more to come.

Good night, from home,
Love,
Dawn and Mark

It Goes On, and On, and On

It is a grey evening in Mariupol. Maybe it will rain. It has been raining a bit inside of us for about 3 days now. You know the saying about the best laid plans. . . Today we had planned once again to go to the village to get the birth certificates. We arrived at the office building to pick up the 16 finished copies of the amendment that were to be attached to the 16 packets of the final court decree. It was discovered there was a small error in one statement in the amendment. Tanya and Mark and I had to drive back to the court building. The judge who needs to sign a corrected amendment was not there and was not scheduled to be back until late in the afternoon. So, another day to wait. We're tired. The girls are tired. We're all ready to go home.

The amendment is now supposed to be signed and ready by tomorrow at 8:00am. Tanya will pick it up and take it back to the office building where it is to be attached to the other copies and finalized. We are praying fervently that there are no other problems. If that part all goes well, our plan is to load all our luggage and the girls into Tanya's car tomorrow and all of us will go to the village to get the birth certificates, then on to Donetsk to get the passports. If all that goes well, we plan to buy train tickets in Donetsk and leave about 7:00 on an overnight train to Kiev. The timing will be critical and we have a slim margin for error if we are going to do this. But we know God reveals Himself best in these kinds of situations. At the same time, if it is His will that we stay here a while longer, we are willing to wait and be patient until it is in His will that we go.

The benefit of trying to get to Kiev by Friday morning is that we can begin the process on Friday, rather than wait until Monday. We will have to take the girls to a hospital for medical tests as soon as we arrive in Kiev. Then we go to the Embassy to apply for a visa. If we can get that done on Friday, then we'll have the weekend in Kiev to relax and do some sightseeing. By Tuesday it should all be finished and perhaps, PERHAPS, we can be on a plane home by Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning. We are all so ready.

Today we had to deal with Zhanna's attitude a bit, but praise God, He gave us words to speak, and it turned out beautifully. All four of us walked to Amstore one last time to purchase food for our day tomorrow. Zhanna didn't want to go, but we insisted. She put her shoes on and walked out the door ahead of us. She kept walking and wouldn't look back, even when we called her name. Mark and I and Ella stopped walking and told Zhanna to come back. At first she just kept walking, but we held our ground, so she turned around and came back. I told her, in the best words I could find, that she wasn't acting very nice yesterday and today, and that needs to change. I told her that Mark and I are doing the best we can, and we need her help. I asked her if she understood. She said yes, but still seemed a little "put out." However, we kept walking and she walked with us. After we had walked for a little while, I told her, "Zhanna, I'm going to say one more thing, and then I'm going to drop it. We love you and Ella very much, that's why we are here in Ukraine. This adoption thing is hard! We are all tired and ready for it to be over. But we love you so much, or we wouldn't be doing this! So we all just need to work together and help each other as a family! We don't have the words to use yet to talk about feelings. That will come. But for now, we just need to be kind and love each other. We love you and we will never leave you!" I hugged her. She seemed to understand very well what I was saying. After that she slowly softened and relaxed and by the time we got to Amstore it was all good. I thank God so very much for His wisdom and His words that can cross the barriers of language as we struggle together to become a family.

I promised to make a list of Blessings and Hardships. I think God has shown me through the last few days, especially, that truthfully, our hardships are a lot less severe than we think at the time, and our blessings are much more plentiful. Yes, throughout the past year, the hardest part of this process has been waiting, waiting, waiting, more waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. It is hard to wait. But we are instructed to "wait on the Lord." We understand that His ways are best, and He indeed wants us to learn patience. We are willing. So, I've just narrowed down all the hardships to that one single nugget of an idea - waiting. It has taught us so much.

Our blessings are abundant! God has grown us so much this past year. That is the best blessing. God has given us two new daughters. Fantastic! God has shown us how blessed we are with Nathan and Annie and what wonderful young people they are to be willing to open their home and their hearts and share their parents with two new little sisters. We are so proud of them. We are so blessed with Mark's parents and all the love they give us and our family all the time. They can't wait to be "Babushka" and "Didushka."

We are so blessed by our loving and wonderful church family. They have given so much to us during this past year, and for the 23 years before that. We wouldn't be here without them. They will welcome the girls with open arms and love them beyond reason. I'm so blessed to be part of a terrific, supportive staff of a wonderful Christian School. They, and my students, and their families have prayed for me and Mark and the girls for a year. I can't wait for them all to meet Zhanna and Ella. We are so blessed with extended family members who are lovingly supportive of this adoption. We have been incredibly blessed by so many giving financial support. We couldn't have done this without God's abundant blessing coming through the generous support of other people.

We have been blessed to be in Ukraine and to get to know and love so many of the people here. We have family here now. We will always love them. We have been blessed to be here this long and experience this culture as a native would. We love it, in spite of the differences and the difficulties. That's how you feel about your home. We've been blessed to stay at the TLC and to be served by such loving Christians here. We've been blessed by Tanya, who has practically run herself ragged taking care of our needs. We are thankful for Vanya, who has taken care of many details that we don't even know about. We are blessed to be thinking about going home to the comforts and familiarites there, and to introduce our girls to everything good and bad that is America. In spite of its problems and issues, it is a great nation, thanks be to God. In spite of the rain falling on our spirits this week, we must say, in everything, we are BLESSED!

Pray for us. We hope to be on a train to Kiev tomorrow night. We hope to be home by the middle of next week, if the Lord wills. We love you all and thank you.

In Christ,
Dawn and Mark

Good News Today!

We went to the court building this morning. Mark and I had to sign one paper. Then Tanya and Arkadi went inside for about 2 hours. We waited outside. When they came out they were talking to themselves in Russian, and we couldn't understand what they were saying. We followed them to the car, got in, and finally had a chance to ask, "Well, what happened?" They said it was good news. The court agreed to immediately issue the document which will allow us to get the birth certificates, in spite of the problem with the numbers. They could have chosen to wait one week or maybe longer to issue this document, but God answered our prayers. Tanya has been working very hard on our behalf. Arkadi called her, "Your Majesty!" We will have the document in our hands tomorrow morning, so we can once again drive to the village (4th trip!). Then we will go to Donestk to get the passports. Hopefully it will all be done tomorrow, then we can take the train to Kiev on Thursday. We still won't know our final flight home arrangements until we get to Kiev. But as of right now, we've only been set back a few days. Praise God! We pray that the road ahead is smoother with no more stumbling blocks.

After our court appointment this morning there was nothing pressing for us to do, so we went back to the TLC and just spent the day there with Zhanna and Ella and the other kids. It was a gentle, relaxing day. Ella has been fun and silly all day. We put a puzzle together and played games and went outside to play frisbee. Zhanna, on the other hand, being 13, is rather in awe of the older teens in the TLC. It seems that she doesn't want to appear weird or uncool. She will show us affection in our room, in private, but never when the other kids are anywhere nearby. It's so typical of kids this age, but it's interesting to us that parents are uncool when you are 13, whether they've been your parents for life or for just a week! She's been listening to the CD player with the earplugs almost all day long. Oh well! We know full well these are some of the things that are ahead for us. We will have to deal with all kinds of issues, no doubt. We do believe Zhanna is in the midst of some natural age related insecurity issues. We pray that our love and consistent encouragement and attention will help her to feel secure and not so concerned about what others think. We also pray that we can help her to know a Heavenly Father who loves her unconditionally.

If all goes well tomorrow I will share our Blessings and Hardships blog tomorrow. Perhaps it will be our last night in Mariupol. Please keep praying for all the situations to work out well, and for God to keep the paths straight! Thank you.

Love,
Dawn and Mark

Patience and Faith

Well, we have a slight change in our plans. We may not be home as soon as we thought we would. Today Tanya and Valari picked us up at 7:30. We drove 2 hours to the village where the girls were born in order to get the new birth certificates. Then Tanya talked to the women in the office for 2 more hours while Mark and I and Valari waited. Come to find out, 6 years ago, when the girls' birthparents' parental rights were terminated, and they were sent to the orphanage, birth certificates were issued for both girls. We don't know if they had birth certificates prior to this or not. Perhaps the mother gave birth at home and never registered their births. However, when the certificates were issued 6 years ago, the number on the certificates was written differently than the number the office recorded in their books. The person who recorded and wrote down these numbers no longer works there. So . . . . they wouldn't issue the birth certificates unless we get a court order allowing a change in the numbers. We drove 2 hours back to Mariupol, disappointed, but trusting in God.

When we arrived in Mariupol we drove to Arkadi's office (the social worker). He called the court and arranged for Tanya to go and meet someone there. We drove over to the court building. Tanya went in and Mark and I and Valari waited for a long time until she came out. When she came she said she was told we need to add an amendment to the court decree and the court authorities would sign it, in which it states that Mark and I are asking for the birth certificates to be issued, in spite of the concern about the difference in the numbers. The court would then approve it and would generate 16 copies to be notarized and attached to the 16 original court decrees. We then went back to Arkadi's office and waited and waited and waited while Tanya and Arkadi worked on doing everything necessary to get the document done. We have an appointment at the court at 8:30 tomorrow morning to petition the court to see if they will allow this document to be done immediately. If so, we might have it in another day or two. If NOT, we must wait 5 more days until the document is approved and issued. We could then return to the village for the birth certificates next week.

So, we can't go home until we go to Kiev. We can't go to Kiev until we have the passports. We can't get the passports until we get the birth certificates. We can't get the birth certificates until we get the special documents. We can't get the special documents until the court gives approval and tells us when. Good thing God is in control of all of this.

We finally got back to the TLC about 6:00 this evening, with no lunch and not much breakfast. Zhanna and Ella had stayed here all day with Alexandra and some of the kids. They played video games and "hung out." We were very proud of them. They took it upon themselves to wash their clothes and hang them out yesterday, and today while we were gone, they packed their suitcase and bags and got everything ready to go, thinking we were leaving tomorrow. We had to come home and explain that we are not leaving tomorrow, and may not leave until next week. They seemed fine with it. They are good girls, and seem to enjoy being here at the TLC. They are very relaxed here. We were also so pleased that they seemed genuinely happy to see us when we returned this evening, and have wanted to be with us since we returned. It is now after dinner and they are playing a "tag" game here in the basement with Mark. They keep running over to me, saying, "Save us, save us!" Then they giggle. Of course, I pretend to keep them safe, and then they go right back to running away from Mark! It's all so much fun! I think the tag game started when he offered them some chocolate, and then they came in and stole his "stash." They know how to get him to run!

I had intended for this to be my last blog from Mariupol. But it looks like God has more plans for us here. It's okay. It's amazing how differently we feel about additional waiting, now that we have the girls with us. It will just be for a little while longer and then we'll be home. Of course, we are anxious to be home as a complete family with Nathan and Annie and Zhanna and Ella and Mark and I. Our older kids have been wonderful through all this, and we miss them a lot. But, we will be home soon. We are just learning a little bit more about patience and faith. If we have patience and faith we will soon bring more hope and joy into our lives. Zhanna Hope and Evelina Joy, that is. God will see us through.

So, until we get home (even home in Heaven) we will experience Hardships and Blessings. We'll just wait on the Lord. I'll save this blog topic for another day.

Dasveedanyia from Mariupol,
Dawn and Mark

A Month of Sundays

We have now been in Ukraine 5 weeks and have attended church here 4 Sundays. We've become familiar with the people here, and they have warmly accepted us and loved us and prayed for us. This morning it was announced that we are legally parents of our girls now and we will be leaving on Tuesday. Mark got up and had Valari translate for him as he thanked God and thanked the people of the church and the TLC for their gracious lovingkindness. So many people greeted us after the service, and even though we couldn't understand everything that was said, we know that it was all loving encouragement and praise to God. It is such a blessing to be joined in Christ with fellow believers, no matter where you are on the planet. When you speak the language of Christ, your earthly language is no barrier.

Tanya brought most of the girls' closest friends to church this morning and after church all of us were invited to a tea party upstairs in the TLC. Alexandra, one of the housemoms here, had baked a wonderful "Sacher Torte." It was heavenly! There were crispy round layers of something similar to phyllo dough that had been baked individually, but filled with a sweet creamy center in between each layer. Wow! Mark had two pieces. Afterward he told Alexandra, "If something ever happens to Dawn, I'm going to marry you!" Alexandra is probably in her late 60's or early 70's. She is the kindest, sweetest Christian woman, and she cooks great. You should have seen how red her face became! She smiled and said, "Oh, Mark!" Tanya suggested that she and Val move to New Mexico and live with us to teach the girls English and us Russian, and then Alexandra can also move in with us to cook. I actually really like that idea (only some small matters of space and money that might need to be taken care of first)!

Last night the girls slept in the bunkbeds upstairs, so I'm sure it was a better night's sleep for all of us. Zhanna and Ella have really connected with some of the teenage girls here. They have been doing hair and nails together, and playing with the two guinea pigs the girls keep upstairs. We've already promised Zhanna and Ella we'll get a guinea pig when we get home (we've done it before, we'll do it again! Dejavu!).

Since tonight and tomorrow will probably be the last blogs before we get back to the U.S.A., I thought I would share a list of things we will miss from our time here in Ukraine, and what we won't miss.

WHAT WE'LL MISS:
~ The warmth and love of all our new friends here.
~ The TLC kids gathered (squished) around the table every evening, holding hands in prayer and then saying, "Priyatnava Apetita!" before we eat.
~ Ukrainian Chocolate
~ The cool European style windows that open at the top and lean into the room when you turn the handle one way, but open at the side all the way to let in more air when you turn the handle another way.
~ A lot of the food here - it is wonderfully tasty "kusna" and very healthy
~ Ukrainian Chocolate
~ The great European hot pots that boil water in a matter of seconds
~ Ukrainian Chocolate (okay, you get the idea!)
~ The view of the sea from the top of the hill
~ Our walks to Amstore to eat and shop
~ Passionate Russian conversation
~ The flowers of Ukraine

WHAT WE WON'T MISS:

~ Raised thresholds in random doorways on which you always stub your toe (common in Europe)
~ Not flushing your toilet paper and having to throw it in the trash can (plumbing is an issue)
~ "Squatty Potties" in public places, if you can find one at all (I guess they think they are more sanitary than toilets)
~ Our walks to the orphanage everyday
~ Passionate Russian conversation (yelling) outside our bedroom window late at night
~ Daylight at 4:00 am

In the next blog I plan to share our list of Hardships and Blessings of the year, and of the adoption experience. So tune in tomorrow! Until then, our love to all. Your prayers are being answered. Please pray for our day tomorrow as we have a long day planned to drive to the village to get the birth certificates and then to Donetsk for the passports. Tanya will pick us up in the morning at 7:30 am.

God is mighty and He is to be praised. We love Him and adore Him. He is leading the way. We only have to follow Him - all the way home.

Love and blessings,
Dawn and Mark

Building Trust

Last night was fine, although I had to get up in the middle of the night and put some blankets and a pillow on the floor and sleep there. There were two little furnaces on either side of me in the bed and it was the warmest night since we've been here. In addition, Ella snores and talks in her sleep, so it was not the best night's sleep I've ever had, although probably one of the sweetest!

It started so cute. They had to call their teachers and friends back at the orphanage first. They talked a short time and seemed content. Then we three snuggled in the bed and Mark got settled on the couch. I told the girls a story about two little flowers named Zhanna and Ella who had had a spell put on them by a wicked witch. A good fairy came along and touched each of them with her magic wand and "poof!" they turned into girls again. They learned they were really princesses and were going to go live in the castle of the good king and queen. I have no idea if this story has any psychological symbolism at all, but it's what came to me as I was grasping for words to tell a story. I think both girls liked it and laughed and smiled in parts. After we turned out the lights there was a normal amount of giggling and making jokes. Ella said, "Good night, Kitty princesses in the bed. Good night, dog in the doghouse." She was referring to Mark over on his couch. We all laughed and laughed. Then they were getting crazy and saying good-night to all the English words they could think of. Zhanna got stuck, and we were having a hard time understanding what she meant. Finally, she got out of bed, went to turn on the light and pointed at her stomach. "Good night stomach!" That cracked us all up. So, we had to get settled again, and then I had to shush them a few times, but they both quickly fell asleep and slept all night. It felt GREAT to be with our girls all together as a family!

This morning we all woke about 8:00 and got ready for the day. We had breakfast and then we went to the market. We had fun looking and buying a few small things for the girls. Then we walked to Amstor (we love that place!) and bought another "Rynetky" CD because the girls left the one we bought before at the orphanage. We'd rather buy another than try to go back and collect the old one. We ate lunch at Amstor again (sharing the food they couldn't finish) and went home to take a nap. The girls said they were sleepy. When we got home I went to sleep on the bed and Mark slept on the couch. The girls headed upstairs and we thought they were going to sleep in the bunkbeds. However, pretty soon they both came downstairs, and I woke up with both of them beside me on one side of the bed sharing the ear plugs for Mark's CD player, listening to the Rynetky CD! They were "whispering" ( right!) and giggling. They both wanted to go to the "Moray" or the Sea.

Our friend, Natasha, from the TLC, wanted to go, too, so she led the way. Mark and I were following, watching the girls talk with Natasha. They needed towels and water bottles and snacks. Mark put the towels in his backpack. Ella had packed a smaller bag and started out carrying it, but it wasn't long before I ended up carrying that, too. Mark and I laughed and said to ourselves, "Look, in one day we really have become parents again. We are cleaning up after these kids, buying whatever they ask for (for right now, at least), carrying all their stuff, and getting very little sleep!" Yes, the empty nest has come and gone! It is indeed full again! We praise God.

We got glimpses of the girls' personalities once again on our trek to the sea. Zhanna was ready to swim and wore her swimming suit under a coverup. Ella had no interest in swimming. Zhanna went far out into the sea on her own, and then she and Natasha asked Mark to let them ride a bungee cord/trampoline type of ride available close by. It was cheap, and Mark is ready to pay for just about anything now, as they come and ask him. Then Zhanna wanted to go down a water slide in the same area. She's a little thing, but doesn't seem to have any fear. Her quiet determination is written all over her face. Ella, on the other hand, holds back a little more. She's a bit more hesitant and reluctant to jump in to new situations and adventures. But she seems to be the one who will be extremely loyal and sensitive to others, once the barriers have come down. She's always offering to share her food or drink or anything else she has with us all the time. She constantly comes to me to lean her head on my shoulder or hold my hand. They are both just so dear to us already.

At the sea, Mark and I had time to talk about the trust that is being built right now. Mark said it is like in the book of Hebrews, which talks about Jesus indeed becoming a Jew and fully human. He came to our world, before we could have entrance to His. That trust was built. That's the way it has been with us and the girls. We have come and spent time in their world, now they trust us enough to go back to ours. I think they know we love them and will never hurt them or leave them. Last night I tried to share those words with them before we went to bed. I tried to tell them that they now have a very happy Mama and a happy Papa, and that we will always take care of them and we love them. I think they understand, but even now can't fully grasp everything that means. However, they are ready to go with us.

Our train tickets have been purchased for Tuesday evening at 5:00. We'll arrive in Kiev on Wednesday morning. So, Monday night will probably be my last blog until we get home, unless we have time to go to an internet cafe of some kind and pay to use the computers there. We'll have to see. I'll try to share as many details about travel plans as I can before we go to Kiev, otherwise we'll just contact family members to let them know. But it is looking like we'll probably be coming home next Saturday - one week!

All is well and God is good! May He be praised and glorified.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

We are Free!

We have the girls! Praise God, "Slava Bog"! Thank you, God, "Spaseba Bog"! "Dvia Gracivuia Dotchki"! Two beautiful daughters! They are ours forever and ever and ever! This day feels exactly like the high a new mother feels after the pains of giving birth have passed. The endorphins kick in and WOW! Everything is wonderful! The rest of the day is just a blur of happiness!

Today was nothing like we anticipated it would be. We got up early and were ready when Tanya arrived at 7:45. We went to the court building first thing and picked up 16 copies of the court decree that says we are actually and legally the girls's parents! Then we headed to the village to get the birth certificates. It takes at least two hours to get to the village. About 45 minutes down the road, Tanya suddenly pulled over and said she just thought about something. It suddenly occurred to her that we might need to take the old birth certificates. She called Vanya, and yes, we did need those and they were back at the orphanage. So, we turned around and headed back to Mariupol. At first we were disappointed. Our day had started early and well, and we were looking ahead at getting many things accomplished today. However, God had other plans, and they were SO MUCH BETTER!

Since we already had the court decree, and we were heading back to the orphanage anyway, Tanya called the social worker to see if we could go ahead and get the girls and finalize the papers at the orphanage. That's what we've been waiting on for almost a year! It was agreed that we could do that, so we went there. We had more dealings with the director, but I'll spare you the details at this point. We signed papers in the office. The girls brought their suitcase down and we left. We had one more step to finalize at the bank, and then we returned to the orphanage to get those papers back, and it was done! The girls are ours! We don't ever have to go back to the orphanage! Hallelujah! Slava Bogu!

Tanya and Mark and I and the girls had one more stop at the central business office in town to sign more papers about obtaining the girls' birth certificate. In the meantime, Tanya called the village office where we had intended to go today. She learned that there was some special election or other event the office they were preparing for, so even if we had showed up they wouldn't have been able to help us today. We have an appointment there Monday morning at 10:00 and intend to go to Donetsk after that to get the passports. We'll spend Tuesday here, cleaning up and packing and getting ready to go. Then we'll catch a train to Kiev on Tuesday evening. We'll arrive there Wednesday morning. Then we get busy again as we do everything we need to do there. We don't exactly know yet when we'll be flying home, but maybe a week from tomorrow on Saturday, June 20. That's what we're aiming for at this time, anyway.

So, after all the "stuff" we finally celebrated being a family! Tanya dropped us off at the Amstor and Mark and I and the girls ate lunch together - just the four of us for the first time! Then we went shopping for shampoo and toothbrushes and pajamas and other things the girls needed. Then it was shopping for clothes and we had a blast! The girls were so sweet trying things on and letting me see them to give my approval or not.

The girls both seem to be more relaxed than we've seen them since we arrived here. Away from the orphanage and the peace of God is upon them. They've held our hands and laughed with us and teased with us and smiled at us and with us all day. Tanya arranged for the girls to stay in bunk beds in an empty room upstairs. But after we arrived here and got their room all ready, they came down and laid down on the bed with me in our room. Zhanna asked if they could sleep with me tonight! Mark had thought about this a couple of days ago, but I thought they might feel too weird about it. However, they really want to sleep with me in the bed downstairs, so Mark has graciously and happily agreed to take the couch so we can all be together in one room. Wow! We really are a family! The girls and I will be like little puppies or kittens sleeping together in one bed. I'll let you know how it goes!

Well, I'd better go for now. Both girls have had their showers and are reading in the bed, waiting for me. I'm a tired Mama tonight, and Mark is a tired Papa. But we are happy. Ever so happy! God is good - we praise Him with every fiber of our being. He has set the captives FREE!

Love to all!
Dawn and Mark

Happy Party, Dirty Money

This was day 10 after the court decision to allow us to adopt. Tomorrow morning at 8:00 am the paperwork will be signed that will grant Mark and me legal status as the girls' parents. We will drive to the village where they were born after that to obtain birth certificates with their new names. When we hold those two pieces of paper in our hands, and I see their names and our names on them, I think it will finally feel real to me! We will be Mama and Papa! We hope and pray we will have time to drive to Donetsk in the afternoon to obtain the passports, and then go to the orphanage to get the girls and the last of their paperwork.

Our day was full today. We met Valari at the market at 8:00 am and he took us on the grand tour of places in the market we had not seen, including the huge meat market inside an old building. All kinds of sausages were hanging everywhere and chicken and fish was readily available. We haven't seen much beef. Maybe it's too expensive, or maybe people just don't eat it here, I don't know. We saw the Babushka selling hog snouts and ears again, and I asked Val what they are used for. He said people like to boil them and then freeze them and eat the meat off them. Okay, whatever! I still don't think I want to try it!

We also walked by a table with all kinds of fresh dairy products, including homemade cottage cheese and unsweetened homemade yogurt. Valari talked us in to buying some of that and trying it. Mark and I each took a couple of bites, but we were not impressed. That was enough for us. All we ended up buying at the market today were fresh strawberries and bananas for the going away party we were hosting for Zhanna and Ella at the orphanage this afternoon.

While I'm on the subject of food, I need to share that we have tried some very unusual dishes here. We had "tongue" pie last week. I didn't know what it was until I had already ordered it. It just looked like a nice quiche to me - perhaps mushroom or something. When I was told what it was I didn't know if I could stomach it or not, but it was actually pretty good. Chewy . . . I asked if it was pork tongue or beef tongue and the answer I received was, "I have no idea." Best not to ask too many questions. Mark and I were also served Salo last week. It is basically just pork fat that has been baked and sliced and sometimes salted, and then eaten on dark bread. It is served with dill and cucumber slices and tomato wedges. It is a traditional Ukrainian delicacy - used often in celebrations. Okay, so we celebrated. I felt like a Cossack - you have to have a strong constitution to eat a lot of Salo. Those who eat a lot of it must drink a lot of Vodka in order to get it down!

So, back to our day. The party this afternoon was wonderful. Mark and I enjoyed shopping at the Amstore the last two mornings in order to purchase things for the party. We bought cookies and candy and chips and Coke, Fanta and Sprite, as well as the fruit from the market this morning. We also bought plastic tablecloths and plates, cups and napkins. When it was time to set up for the party at the orphanage, the boys brought tables out to the living area and put chairs all around. Then Zhanna and Ella and the girls took charge. I think Zhanna and Ella felt proud of being able to make it so festive and pretty. They covered the tables with the tablecloths and put plates all around the table with the cups and napkins. They divided the food into dishes all down the table so everyone had access to all types of the food. Then the kids politely sat down to wait. I have never seen the boys so still! These boys are rowdy little things - always on the move and usually dirty from playing outside all day long. But today their faces were washed (I don't know about their hands - we can only hope!), and they sat extremely still as they waited for everything to be ready and everyone to come to the table. The table was groaning with the weight of all the good stuff it held. I thought there was no way it would all be eaten at one sitting. However, I think the kids at the orphanage are trained to eat as much as possible when good food is put before them. They don't want it to go to waste, and they know if they don't eat it now, someone else will before they'll have a chance to come back to it! I watched as they started with chips and soda and cookies and candy, and made their way to the strawberries, and eventually everyone ate at least one banana! By the end of the party almost all the food had disappeared. Then the kids thanked us profusely, and everyone helped clean up. The plastic plates that we would all throw away were carefully washed to be used again another time, and the plastic table cloths were also wiped down to reuse. The boys found a great use for all the plastic cups. They started stacking them into pyramid-type towers and played with them as if they were building blocks. Such simple objects to us are like treasures and new toys to them. The party seemed to make Zhanna and Ella feel very special and I think helped to give them some closure with their group and their friends. Everyone was in a great mood the rest of the afternoon as we played outside and picked cherries.

Another part of our day today was not so much fun. We have more news to share about the "dirty" side of this adoption procedure here. Let's just say that a part of the way things operate here is incredibly vile. We had been told before we arrived in Mariupol that the orphanage director may expect some sort of "gift" to the orphanage in return for our adoption of the girls. We were told it may be as much as $600. The orphanage director is a very moody woman and we have been concerned that she might do something to hinder the process of the adoption and stall or delay the process at some point. Tanya called the records woman at the orphanage yesterday and asked about what else needed to be done, because we would be going to court and getting the birth certificates to finalize the adoption on Friday. The records woman told Tanya the director wanted us to come in and meet with her this morning. We were shown into her office and Tanya spoke to her and let her know that we were about to finalize the adoption and asked if there was anything else that needed to be done. The director picked up a piece of scratch paper and wrote something on it and handed it to Tanya and they spoke. Tanya then explained to us that the director said that normally a "gift" is given to the orphanage. Tanya showed us the paper and on it was written "500." Tanya then said that the director said the normal amount was $500 PER CHILD, in American bills only. Mark said we needed to leave to go get that amount, and she said when we returned we should have it in an unmarked envelope and bring it directly to her office. She then insisted the scrap piece of paper be handed back to her and she tore it up. She told us the money would be used for "whatever it was needed for." We left feeling just about as sleazy and creepy as you might imagine. We returned a short time later with the envelope in my purse and went right to her office and handed it to her. We just bought two children for a thousand dollars. Yuck.

Unfortunately, that's the way things are here. There are other situations ahead in which we've been told we will pay fees to "expedite" the process. We don't mind paying extra to see that things are done as quickly as possible, but this situation with the orphanage director just felt very "under the table," as I'm sure it was. We doubt very seriously that that money will ever be used in ways to help the children. It feels dirty.

However, I'm sure Jesus felt dirty, too, as he went all the way to the cross to pay for our sins in order to bring us home. It was what had to be done at the time in order to bring salvation and new life and a promise of a new home in Heaven. So, again, if Jesus did what He did, we can do what we have to do here. We're just thankful that we have been so blessed that we have the money to give and that we are on the giving end and not on the receiving end. We have no guilt on our hands - we simply give this woman to God and pray that He will work on her heart and make choices to benefit the children and not herself.

We're just ready to be done with all of it and be on our way home with the girls. PLEASE pray about our day tomorrow, that God would bless it by allowing everything to go smoothly so we will have the girls with us by tomorrow evening. We love and thank all of you for your prayerful support. May God provide.

Love,
Dawn and Mark

New Life - Time to Leave the Orphanage!

As promised, I want to share a few thoughts today about new life. New life awaits our girls, but new life awaits each one of us in Christ, as well. Our girls are having a little trouble saying good-by to the old life. But we know that the old life is death to them. They don't really have a future if they stay in the orphanage. So, why do all of us sometimes insist on "staying in the orphanage" of this life and our sinful natures?

We want to ask the girls - "Do you have any idea what's in store for you when you leave the orphanage and come with us?" Yet we can't really converse like that with them yet. Christ also asks us, "Do you know what I have in store for you if you only follow Me?" Jesus longs for us to know that we are CHOSEN by Him, and we only have to agree to follow. We want our girls to know they are CHOSEN and treasured and loved. We will do anything for them.

I just finished rereading C.S. Lewis's MERE CHRISTIANITY. I read it in college, but felt that this would be the perfect opportunity to read it again. I'm so glad I did, because Lewis's insights have been very helpful in trying to make sense of our time here in Ukraine. He's helped me to see the spiritual application around every corner. Lewis talks about the difference between Bios life (physical life) and Zoe life (spiritual life). Bios life is like living in the orphanage. You are merely existing, but it's comfortable because it's all you know. Zoe life is like going to America, with all the benefits available, and being taken into a family who loves you and will provide for you the rest of your life. Only Zoe life is when we are taken into the family of God (adopted) and He will provide for us, as His children, throughout eternity! So why would anyone choose otherwise? I know the girls will look back and wonder why they had any trouble leaving the orphanage.

Tanya told us today that our appointment at the court on Friday is set for 8:00 am! Yay! That is answered prayer! Thank you, God! Then the plan is to get right in the car and drive out to the village to get the birth certificates, and, if all goes well there, we'll drive from there into Donetsk to obtain the passports. If all goes well there, we'll drive back to Mariupol and go to the orphanage to have the official "turning over of the children." The orphanage director will need to be there, and Arkadi (the social worker), and Tanya, as our translator. Then we get the girls' suitcase and belongings and get them out of there! They will stay with us at the TLC over the weekend and then we'll take the train to Kiev on Monday. If all goes well, that is.

So we'd appreciate your prayers about all this. We are so ready for the waiting to be over. We are ready to get our girls and go home! (Please pray for our patience, as well!) I keep coming back to my favorite verses in the Bible - Jeremiah 29:11-14. These verses were written to those in exile from their homeland. They seem especially appropriate to us now.

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. And I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will give you fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.'"

These verses apply to Mark and me now in Ukraine - He will give us everything we need now, as we pray to Him, and He will return us to our home. They apply to our girls - a hope and a future is what they need. And they apply to each one of us who are truly orphans and need a loving Father to bring us back from exile and into His arms. As the words to a song I've heard says, "There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God." He loves us all so much!

New Life! It is a wonderful thing. But we all must choose to leave the orphanage. It's time.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

No Voice

Mark and I find ourselves more and more frustrated by the "no voice" syndrome we are stuck in here. We are surrounded by people who converse with each other freely, yet we don't understand and can't reply on any sort of intelligent level. The housemoms and kids at the TLC have been kind and gracious, yet we aren't able to carry on much of a relationship beyond the surface. We would love to ask them more questions and share more of our thoughts, but it is not to be. The teachers and kids at the orphanage are the same way. We enjoy the interaction, but at most, it is very shallow. There are few English speakers anywhere. The only English speakers that we've had much of a conversation with are Tanya and her husband, Valari. Therefore, it was a wonderful treat that they invited us to their home last night to have dinner.

Val walked to the orphanage and met us at the front gate at about 5:30. We walked a few blocks to their apartment building. We took a small elevator to the 11th floor. There are three small apartments in their hallway. You go through heavy metal doors on concrete floors and come to the door to their apartment. Inside was small - really just 2 rooms, plus a kitchen and a bathroom, but very comfortable and nice. They have a view from the small balcony off their living room that looks over all of Mariupol and the sea. We enjoyed our dinner and our visit with them immensely. Valari is also an English teacher and speaks English quite well, as does Tanya. Their family lived in the U.S. for about 2 years as Tanya was pursuing additional education there. They have been back in Ukraine for the last 5 years and Tanya has been the director at the TLC for that entire time. Valari gives private English lessons, mostly to college students, in their home. It was such a blessing for us to be in their home and to carry on intelligent conversation with educated people! Wow! We didn't realize how much we had missed that. We are so grateful that they invited us.

Another "no voice" situation is occuring at the orphanage. There is a boy there who is probably 2 or maybe even 3 years older than Zhanna and Ella and has been with them the last couple of days we've been there. His name is Svet. Svet seems like a nice enough kid, but teases and plays around with Zhanna and Ella and then tickles them, and the girls laugh and giggle and pull away. Mark and I are having the hardest time handling this! It seems to cross the line of appropriate behavior with us, but we don't have a voice to say so at this point. Mark said today, "I'm 8 days their dad. If I were 10 days their dad I think I'd slap that boy and tell him to keep his hands off my girls!" The only thing we can do is try to divert the conversation and help them all change their focus to another direction. Today worked pretty well. I brought an American magazine I bought on the trip at the airport. We took a blanket outside and sat in the shade, and I looked at the pictures of clothes and food with the girls. We talked about the words in Russian and English. Svet went to go pick cherries from the old trees on the far side of the orphanage. That was fine until Ella got bored looking at the pictures and ran off to help Svet. When they got back we all visited for awhile, and then they wanted to get up and walk. The tickling started, so Mark and I tried to ask questions, etc. Finally, Ella asked if Mark could go get ice cream. She wanted to go, too! So, we pulled a sneaky and Ella walked to the store with Mark (they're not allowed to leave the grounds of the orphanage without permission)! I stayed behind with Zhanna and Svet and we sat in the shade and visited. That worked out okay, and we all enjoyed the ice cream treats when Mark and Ella got back. I think Ella felt empowered to be able to get out like that, and Mark felt good to be finally walking, as a parent would, with his child. But. . .when we left, Svet was still there with our girls! Aug-gh-gh-gh! Just a few more days, just a few more days!

The girls are obviously still torn about leaving the orphanage. They say they will miss it and all their friends. Many of the kids are leaving for camp on Friday, so we are planning a good-bye party for Thursday afternoon. We will buy juice and cookies and fruit and chips so they can all celebrate and say their good-byes. Our court hearing is Friday to finalize the adoption, but we're not sure yet if it will be morning or afternoon. We hope it will be in the morning so we can drive out once again to the village where the girls were born to obtain the new birth certificates. If we don't have the court hearing until Friday afternoon we'll have to wait until Monday to go to the village. Again, no choice, no voice.

We need prayers for all of this. We trust in God's perfect and impeccable timing, but it is so hard to face additional delays. We want to snatch the girls out of the orphanage environment TODAY and fly home tomorrow. However, we must wait until the proper procedures have been taken care of. After the birth certificates are obtained, then we must go to Donetsk to get the new passports. Only then can we travel back to Kiev. While we're there the girls must have medical tests at a hospital, then we go to the Ukrainian Embassy and then the American Embassy for visas. It will take a few days for all of that. So it looks like a week and half to two weeks more before we'll be flying home. We'll let you know as soon as we find out.

In this "no voice" situation, we find that we are learning about total submission. We are totally dependent on other people for everything. We must wait on the timing and on the paperwork and on the officials and on the beauraucracy. We can't communicate or understand or ask questions. But really we are totally dependent on God. We must only trust. We trust in the Lord and lean on Him and not on our own understanding. We commit our plans to Him and know we will succeed because of His great and perfect love for us and for Zhanna and Ella.

May God's wonderful treasures be revealed to you each and every day. It is not easy for us, as humans, to trust Him enough to put our lives totally in His care. But that's what Zhanna and Ella are doing in agreeing to be adopted and letting us take them to America. They've put their trust in us. Treasures and new life await them. God has treasures and new life waiting for us, too. I'll share more thoughts about that tomorrow.

Until then, Go with God. He is so good, all the time.
Love,
Dawn and Mark

New Shoes and New "Blues"

I thank each of you for the comments about my "History of Ukraine" blog. The info. is a compilation of several books Mark and I have read this year. It certainly leaves much detail out, but hits the highlights of the long and tragic history of this young nation. We find it fascinating now because it is the history of our new daughters and their ancestors. We want to be able to share it with them as they get older.

Yesterday we had an interesting afternoon with Zhanna and Ella. We spent time together at church and then at the special "Sweet Table" fellowship I wrote about yesterday. Afterward, Tanya drove the four of us (along with Zhanna and Ella's friends from the orphanage, Julia, Yanna and Kristina) to Amstore. We were looking for new shoes for Zhanna and Ella. The orphanage has a shoe distribution at the beginning of summer, but Zhanna and Ella were not given new shoes because they are in the process of being adopted and will be going to America soon. I say "new shoes," but I'm not entirely sure any of the orphans get "new" shoes. As best we can tell they all just keep sharing and rotating shoes as their feet change sizes. Zhanna was wearing a pair of sneakers for the first two weeks we were here. All of a sudden, last Monday, when we went to court, she didn't have those sneakers anymore. The shoes she was wearing were much too small for her feet, and by the end of that long day of walking and running after buses, Zhanna's feel were blistered terribly. When we went to the bowling alley that day I noticed that another girl had on the very sneakers Zhanna had been wearing. The other girl (not even in Zhanna's living group) also had on a pair of shorts that we had sent Zhanna for her birthday in April. Zhanna had worn them a week prior to that. I don't know the system, but it seems that Zhanna and Ella were just labeled as "privileged" and their stuff was given to others. Wow!

Anyway, we are glad to buy Zhanna and Ella new shoes, and anything else they need. The other kids at the orphanage have so little, that we feel like Zhanna and Ella should just take the minimum amount of clothing required to get them home, and then we'll get new everything when we get there. It'll be fun. Zhanna's feet are healing now, and she and Ella seem to like their new sneakers.

After shopping, Tanya dropped us back at the orphanage. The girls wanted to show everyone their new shoes and then wanted to go play outside. We were happy to comply. It is very warm in Ukraine now, and the girls' living quarters are on the second floor. There is no air conditioning. They've taken down all the lace curtains at the windows to wash them, due to their spring cleaning efforts. In their place they've hung heavy woolen blankets. It's pretty much stifling upstairs. So, outside was great. There really isn't much in the way of playground equipment at the orphanage, but we found a small, broken down "merry go round" with 6individual wooden seats - 4 of which had been broken off. The metal bar remained on the other seats and the girls were gracious enough to give us the seats, while they sat on the bars. At least sitting there and spinning a little was kind of fun, but it wasn't long before everyone was complaining that they were thirsty. Mark asked them what they all wanted to drink, and said he would walk to the small store a couple of blocks away from the orphanage to get them something. Zhanna wanted Coca Cola, Ella wanted Sprite, Julia wanted Orange Fanta, and Kristina also wanted Sprite. What treats for these kids! So Mark walked all the way and back with big bottles of these drinks.

The girls seemed to appreciate the drinks at first, but then began to shake the bottles and then take the caps off to let them explode. We let it go by for a little bit and then told them no more "nyet!" At that point it was about time for Mark and me to get going and walk back to the TLC. We told the girls that. Zhanna wanted to go back upstairs to the living quarters, but Ella wanted to stay outside. We asked them if they wanted to walk us to the gate. We're not quite sure what happened at that point, but Ella and Zhanna began to argue. It wasn't pretty. Ella dug in her heals and closed up and got very stubborn. She wouldn't talk to us or look at us. Zhanna didn't help matters. She was calling Ella some kind of name. I think she was saying, "Frog," over and over, or something to that effect. Ella was responding back, but you could tell they weren't getting anywhere. We tried to say, "Come on, girls! Don't act like this! Be nice! Come walk us to the gate!" Ella all of a sudden shouted, "No!" We tried to respond lightly, by saying, "Come on, Ella Joy! Let's go!" Then Ella said, very bluntly, "No! Evelina Kravets!" That's her birth name. I think she was retaliating to Zhanna more than to us, but it hit Mark and me hard. At that point, I think we realized that this was something we couldn't deal with while the girls are still in the orphanage and all the other kids are around. The best thing for us to do was to just say, "Okay. We're going to go. It's okay if you don't want to walk us to the gate. We'll be back tomorrow." We hugged them both, as well as all the other kids and told them good-bye.

We talked about it on the way home, and realized that this may be the first of many scenes like that we will witness and have to deal with. We're prepared. Sibling animosity is normal, especially in times of stress and change. But what is hard is being parents on paper, yet not being fully parents in deed! Our hands are tied in so many ways, and besides that, language is also an issue. I do believe God will give us what we need in the way of language, but until we have some time with the girls alone, as a family, we can't really go deeper in addressing behavior, or just talking about feelings. We wanted to tell them, "Look girls, we had Tanya pick you up for church today, we bought you new shoes and bought drinks for you and all your friends. Is this the way you show you are grateful? Is this how you should behave? You know we love you very much, but we expect you to show kindness to each other and to be patient with each other." The time will come when we'll get to say those very things. For now, we just get through as best we can.

The interesting thing is, today when we arrived at the orphanage, the girls wanted to go outside for a water bottle fight. As we were walking downstairs, Zhanna turned to us and said, "Dawna, Marka . . . you know yesterday. . . me and Ella sorry!" Ella also turned to us and said, "Sorry!" Then they both hugged us! We assured them that we loved them and we understand and that we're thankful they apologized and said they were sorry. Today was a much better day! Praise God.

Isn't it the same sometimes with us and God? We sometimes get stubborn with God and dig our heals in about our own attitudes or behaviors. We don't always realize we're just hurting ourselves, and our loving Father is always there, simply waiting for us to say, "I'm sorry!" Then He can continue blessing us. But if we never acknowledge our sinful nature, God can get pretty tired of putting up with the nasty negativity we humans sometimes exhibit. Look at how He dealt with the Israelites. If they had simply acknowledged His love for them and shown gratitude and obedience, how different things would have been! Mark and I are seeing so many Biblical lessons coming to life right before our eyes. We are learning much from our Lord. We pray that we can be parents that can share God's love with our children, and that they in turn, will share it with their children.

We are counting down the days to Friday, when our next court date will be for finalizing the adoption. We're not sure what time that will be yet. Tanya is trying to get it scheduled in the morning so we can drive out to the village where the girls were born in the afternoon and get the new birth certificates. If we don't go to court until later in the day we won't be able to drive to the village until Monday. Please pray about that.

God's blessings on all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dawn and Mark

More History of Ukraine

Sunday was good today. We enjoyed the assembly and then stayed for a special program this afternoon called their "Sweet Table." They moved the chairs back in their auditorium, and set up tables, and brought out plates of all different types of pastries, cookies and sweets, along with tea and water and juice "sok." Several people sang or played the guitar. They had the children sing a song, and Zhanna and Ella were among them. Then the gathering of people all played a game with clues of some sort wrapped into individual layers of an aluminum foil ball. We thought they had to answer a Bible trivia question and then pass the ball to someone else to peel off another layer, but we never figured out if that was truly it or not. At the end of the game and the concert, before the eating, everyone sang the song "Prayer for Ukraine." It brought tears to many eyes and people in the church were visibly moved. It is obvious that Christians here are prayerful that the heart of Ukraine will be changed more into the image of Christ.

It seems to Mark and me, that although the general population of Ukrainians tend to be somewhat cold and unfeeling, at least in business and on the street, that Christians are different. What a difference Christ makes! He opens doors and breaks down barriers. He brings truth and healing and removes distrust and lies and social ills. He thinks of others more highly than Himself. Yes, Ukraine needs more of Christ. America needs more of Christ. Every nation on earth needs more of Christ.

So, with that said, I will continue sharing a bit more about Ukraine's history. Thanks to Tim O'Hearn who left a message on the blog yesterday about additional historical information that I left out. What he added is quite interesting, so check out his message from yesterday. Thanks, Tim!

After the Revolution in 1917, all of Russia was in the hands of Lenin and the Bolsheviks. Ukraine made a bid for independence at that time, but couldn't keep peace long enough to establish a workable government. It wasn't long before the short-lived nation of Ukraine erupted in civil war. The Germans soon advanced in an attempt to capture Kiev. The Bolsheviks approached from the north, and the Poles did their best to hang on. According to different estimates, Kiev changed hands between 14 and 18 times in the years between 1917 and 1920. Hundreds of thousands were killed, many of Jewish ethnicity. Six separate armies ravaged the country, each with confused notions about its ultimate aim. It was said that "Ukraine was a country easy to conquer but almost impossible to rule."

Finally, in 1920, Ukraine was conquered decisively by the Bolsheviks and returned to Russian hands. At first all Ukrainians were expected to release all belongings and food to the Red Army. Out of protest, the peasants stopped planting. An accompanying drought led to a devastating famine, where hundreds of thousands MORE died in Ukraine. Lenin realized his tactics were backfiring, and established a policy of "korenizatsiya" (making roots), where the Ukrainian culture and language were accepted and encouraged. For the first time, educational opportunities were made available in Ukraine. More people learned to read then in Ukraine than any other time in history. However, the books available always featured the Communist party and smiling Red Army soldiers. By the time Lenin died in 1924, collectivism was ebbing and foreign investment was encouraged. Capitalism could have made headway into Ukraine and Russia, if it weren't for Stalin and his policies.

Stalin became the leader of Russia through treachery and was eager to make changes. In 1928 he introduced his "five-year plan" called the "revolution from above." This was a series of gigantic industrial goals for the cities and a collectivism plan for the farm and agricultural industry. The plan was extended another 5 years following the first plan. It all turned into disaster for the peasants and workers in the factories. Living conditions were terrible and discipline severe. Everyone was pushed to the limits. The Soviet state believed it would buy grain cheaply from the peasants, feed the people in the cities and sell the surplus grain for profit. The peasants refused to sell their grain so cheaply and began to hoard it. Hoarding drove up the market price even higher. Stalin reacted severly. During 1929 - 1930 hundreds of thousand of Ukrainian peasants were packed into freight trains, shipped to the frozen tundra of Siberia and ordered to settle the land. Most died of cold and starvation. Stalin then called for even higher grain quotas and sent in military generals to supervise the seizure. Hired gangs went from farm to farm, tearing up floorboards and torturing peasants in search of hidden grain. Another drought in 1931 killed the remainder of the failing crops. After two years of grain requisitioning, most of Ukraine's food supply had been confiscated and the countryside was left to starve. Peasants ate rats, bark, leaves, dirt, and one another. Whole villages died together. The famine of 1932 -33 was the ultimate tragedy for the Ukrainian nation. It is believed that 3 - 6 million Ukrainians starved to death in this "artificial famine," and yet it went unnoticed in the West and much of the Soviet Union. The 1930's also brought with it a new regime of terror directed toward the educated. Scientists, church leaders, writers, editors, historians and musicians disappeared. The Stalinist terror introduced a paranoia that kept people in line for the remainder of the Soviet Union's existence.

The Nazi attack on the USSR in June 1941 took Stalin by surpise. Resistance in Ukraine was futile. In western Ukraine, fascism sounded better than Stalinism. The German soldiers were perceived as liberators and given a hero's welcome in some towns. Kiev was captured in September 1941, and soon after the whole country was occupied by Nazi forces. Knowing the advantage of raw materials in Ukraine, Stalin called for a scorched-earth policy as the Red Army retreated. All political prisoners were shot, electricity plants destroyed, factories blown up and mines flooded. The three-year Nazi occupation of Ukraine was brutal and exploited the land and the people. The collective farms of Ukraine were now feeding the Third Reich, and the Germans had a particular interest in such a fertile land. A common anecdote tells of train loads of rich Ukrainian topsoil being shipped to Germany. Two million Ukrainians were also exported to Germany as forced labor. There were approximately one and a half million Jews in Ukraine prior to the war. Days after the Nazi invasion, the calculated killing of Jews commenced. The majority of Ukraine's Jews were not sent to concentration camps, but were collected, shot and buried in mass graves. By 1943 the Soviet Army had returned to Ukraine. At the war's end, it was estimated that one out of every six citizens in Ukraine had been killed. The conference at the end of the war held in Yalta in 1945 in the Ukrainian held Crimea was an historical occasion.

United in anger toward the Germans, Stalin was able to direct the people's emotions towards rebuilding a wrecked country. Hundreds of war memorials still stand as symbols of overcoming one form of oppression in Ukraine. Frenzied activity ensued. What had been destroyed had to be rebuilt quickly. Millions of Russians moved south to Ukraine, mostly to work in the factories. Cities exploded with growth. Stalin died in 1953 and Nikita Khrushchev became the leader of the Communist Party. Khrushchev was from Ukraine, even though he was Russian by birth. In 1954, the Communist party issued '13 theses' that spelled out the everlasting union of the Ukrainians and the Russians. As a gift, Khruschev annexed Crimea to Ukraine. (Some say he was drunk at the time!)

Khrushchev gained popularity when he denounced Stalin and introduced the "thaw" - a period of relaxed censorship and general freedom. The standard of living improved. The cookie-cutter concrete slab apartment buildings seen all over Ukraine are Khrushchev's doing. They were nicknamed "khrushchoby." (Khrushchev's name along with the word for slum!) They may be ugly, but they allowed housing for the entire Soviet population to be available in a very short time. Khruschev periodically relaxed his grip and tightened the reins on Soviet society throughout his time as leader. Breshnev came into power after Krushchev died, but he was old and ill during his time. Two others, Chernenko and Andropov, came into power after Breshnev, but they also were old and ill. These last ten years of Soviet rule in Ukraine were full of decline and stagnation.

In 1985, Mikhail Gorbachev, a young reformer, claimed the highest seat in the Communist Party. He held a firm belief in the superiority of socialism, but also had resolve to transform the problems in the Soviet Union. "Glasnost" (openness) and "perestoika" (reconstruction) opened up the economy and helped to reform the political structure.

On April 26, 1986, the Chernobyl nuclear plant north of Kiev exploded. The government was reluctant to let news of the accident escape. After nearly a week, news of the disaster reached the people who were in greatest danger. Hundreds died from the first heavy doses of radiation, but countless people contracted chronic ailments and thousands of children were born deformed in the months following the accident. The power plant was a Soviet plant, but was located in Ukraine, and Ukrainians realized they would be the ones to suffer for the Soviet ineptness. This event added much fuel to a growing fire of resentment toward the Soviet Union's control of Ukraine.

Nationalist sentiment grew more vocal as people tested their boldness under the freedom of glasnost. In the summer of 1988 thousands gathered on several occasions in Lviv and Kiev with a variety of protests, but mostly for independence. All over the Soviet Union, people were now speaking their minds, and the message was freedom. Gorbachev had never intended for things to go this far, and tried frantically to hold to union together. In September, 1989 the Ukrainian nationalist party, Rukh, was founded in opposition to the Communist Party in Ukraine. In 1990, democratic elections were permitted for the first time. The Supreme Soviet, or Verkhovna Rada in Ukrainian, would be open to non-communist parties. More protests took place within the next year, and then a great snowball effect took place, when in August, 1991, the entire Soviet Union was declared in a state of emergency. A coup tried to declare Gorbachev a traitor and sought to put the Communist party back on track. The Ukrainian communists could either comply and fall under a supposed new dictatorship, or support the "democrats" in the party and split the Soviet Union. On August 24, 1991 a vote resulted in an almost unanimous decision. Ukraine was declared an independent nation!

The first years of independence were horribly difficult. Inflation skyrocked. Paper money was printed out, but became invalid almost before it came into use. People continued to go to work, but received no salaries. The shops were either empty or closed, and food and clothing could only be bought on the streets. Growing one's own food became more important than ever. Winters were the hardest, with heat and electricity rationed. Russia threatened to shut off Ukraine's gas supply if the country could not pay its bill. Organized crime ran business enterprises and corruption was the norm at all levels of government.

For a short while, there were some fears that Ukraine would split right down the middle. Ukrainians in the west were speaking Ukrainian and feeling very European. Those in the east were Russian speaking and longed nostalgically for the convenience of the Soviet Union. Slowly, Ukrainian culture and heritage began to be taught in schools and a greater feeling of united national pride began to evolve.

By 2004 a presidential election was underway between a pro-communist candidate and one whose views were more democratic in nature. The democratic candidate, Viktor Yuschenko, was the favored candidate, but was poisoned in an attempted suicide just two months before the vote. He survived, but due to widespread election fraud, the other candidate was declared the original winner in November, 2004. By the next day, many of Yuschenko's "Our Ukraine" supporters had gathered at Independance Square in Kiev to protest the vote. They wore orange clothing and carried orange banners as a form of protest. Over the next few days, up to one million people gathered in Kiev and succeeded in shutting down the city. The people brought tents and refused to leave until the Ukraine Supreme Court intervened and declared a date for a new election. The protesters continued their vigil in Kiev, and all over Ukraine, with the rallying cry, "razom nas bohato" meaning "together we are many." The second vote took place on December 26, 2004 and Viktor Yuschenko was declared the winner. The Orange Revolution, as it came to be called, represented a watershed moment for Ukraine, delivering a huge boost of confidence and self-determination to the Ukrainian people. In a country where oppression, corruption, fraud and violence had become the norm, a true show of people power had fought for change and succeeded against all odds. The Ukrainian people had begun to see their own future much more positively than they had before.

Ukraine continues to evolve and change and grow. It is still only a teenager (18 years old), so it still struggles with some issues due to immaturity. But it is on the brink of adulthood, as well, and is doing its best to use the resources available to provide for its people and its future. Ukraine is a nation with roots in the land and in a fighting spirit. The people are just now beginning to understand where they've come from and how strong they really are. No wonder the Christian people all have tears in their eyes as they sing the song, "Prayer for Ukraine."

"Merciful God, we pray for the people,
Merciful God, we pray for Ukraine.
Save us from sin and forgive,
Your grace to the people reveal.
Merciful God I know that you'll take me
Into your Glorious Heavenly temple.
You gave us joy, peace from above.
You died for the people you love.
Put their names to the Book of Life."

Please pray for Ukraine. Please pray for us. We send love to all.
Dawn and Mark