Happy Party, Dirty Money

This was day 10 after the court decision to allow us to adopt. Tomorrow morning at 8:00 am the paperwork will be signed that will grant Mark and me legal status as the girls' parents. We will drive to the village where they were born after that to obtain birth certificates with their new names. When we hold those two pieces of paper in our hands, and I see their names and our names on them, I think it will finally feel real to me! We will be Mama and Papa! We hope and pray we will have time to drive to Donetsk in the afternoon to obtain the passports, and then go to the orphanage to get the girls and the last of their paperwork.

Our day was full today. We met Valari at the market at 8:00 am and he took us on the grand tour of places in the market we had not seen, including the huge meat market inside an old building. All kinds of sausages were hanging everywhere and chicken and fish was readily available. We haven't seen much beef. Maybe it's too expensive, or maybe people just don't eat it here, I don't know. We saw the Babushka selling hog snouts and ears again, and I asked Val what they are used for. He said people like to boil them and then freeze them and eat the meat off them. Okay, whatever! I still don't think I want to try it!

We also walked by a table with all kinds of fresh dairy products, including homemade cottage cheese and unsweetened homemade yogurt. Valari talked us in to buying some of that and trying it. Mark and I each took a couple of bites, but we were not impressed. That was enough for us. All we ended up buying at the market today were fresh strawberries and bananas for the going away party we were hosting for Zhanna and Ella at the orphanage this afternoon.

While I'm on the subject of food, I need to share that we have tried some very unusual dishes here. We had "tongue" pie last week. I didn't know what it was until I had already ordered it. It just looked like a nice quiche to me - perhaps mushroom or something. When I was told what it was I didn't know if I could stomach it or not, but it was actually pretty good. Chewy . . . I asked if it was pork tongue or beef tongue and the answer I received was, "I have no idea." Best not to ask too many questions. Mark and I were also served Salo last week. It is basically just pork fat that has been baked and sliced and sometimes salted, and then eaten on dark bread. It is served with dill and cucumber slices and tomato wedges. It is a traditional Ukrainian delicacy - used often in celebrations. Okay, so we celebrated. I felt like a Cossack - you have to have a strong constitution to eat a lot of Salo. Those who eat a lot of it must drink a lot of Vodka in order to get it down!

So, back to our day. The party this afternoon was wonderful. Mark and I enjoyed shopping at the Amstore the last two mornings in order to purchase things for the party. We bought cookies and candy and chips and Coke, Fanta and Sprite, as well as the fruit from the market this morning. We also bought plastic tablecloths and plates, cups and napkins. When it was time to set up for the party at the orphanage, the boys brought tables out to the living area and put chairs all around. Then Zhanna and Ella and the girls took charge. I think Zhanna and Ella felt proud of being able to make it so festive and pretty. They covered the tables with the tablecloths and put plates all around the table with the cups and napkins. They divided the food into dishes all down the table so everyone had access to all types of the food. Then the kids politely sat down to wait. I have never seen the boys so still! These boys are rowdy little things - always on the move and usually dirty from playing outside all day long. But today their faces were washed (I don't know about their hands - we can only hope!), and they sat extremely still as they waited for everything to be ready and everyone to come to the table. The table was groaning with the weight of all the good stuff it held. I thought there was no way it would all be eaten at one sitting. However, I think the kids at the orphanage are trained to eat as much as possible when good food is put before them. They don't want it to go to waste, and they know if they don't eat it now, someone else will before they'll have a chance to come back to it! I watched as they started with chips and soda and cookies and candy, and made their way to the strawberries, and eventually everyone ate at least one banana! By the end of the party almost all the food had disappeared. Then the kids thanked us profusely, and everyone helped clean up. The plastic plates that we would all throw away were carefully washed to be used again another time, and the plastic table cloths were also wiped down to reuse. The boys found a great use for all the plastic cups. They started stacking them into pyramid-type towers and played with them as if they were building blocks. Such simple objects to us are like treasures and new toys to them. The party seemed to make Zhanna and Ella feel very special and I think helped to give them some closure with their group and their friends. Everyone was in a great mood the rest of the afternoon as we played outside and picked cherries.

Another part of our day today was not so much fun. We have more news to share about the "dirty" side of this adoption procedure here. Let's just say that a part of the way things operate here is incredibly vile. We had been told before we arrived in Mariupol that the orphanage director may expect some sort of "gift" to the orphanage in return for our adoption of the girls. We were told it may be as much as $600. The orphanage director is a very moody woman and we have been concerned that she might do something to hinder the process of the adoption and stall or delay the process at some point. Tanya called the records woman at the orphanage yesterday and asked about what else needed to be done, because we would be going to court and getting the birth certificates to finalize the adoption on Friday. The records woman told Tanya the director wanted us to come in and meet with her this morning. We were shown into her office and Tanya spoke to her and let her know that we were about to finalize the adoption and asked if there was anything else that needed to be done. The director picked up a piece of scratch paper and wrote something on it and handed it to Tanya and they spoke. Tanya then explained to us that the director said that normally a "gift" is given to the orphanage. Tanya showed us the paper and on it was written "500." Tanya then said that the director said the normal amount was $500 PER CHILD, in American bills only. Mark said we needed to leave to go get that amount, and she said when we returned we should have it in an unmarked envelope and bring it directly to her office. She then insisted the scrap piece of paper be handed back to her and she tore it up. She told us the money would be used for "whatever it was needed for." We left feeling just about as sleazy and creepy as you might imagine. We returned a short time later with the envelope in my purse and went right to her office and handed it to her. We just bought two children for a thousand dollars. Yuck.

Unfortunately, that's the way things are here. There are other situations ahead in which we've been told we will pay fees to "expedite" the process. We don't mind paying extra to see that things are done as quickly as possible, but this situation with the orphanage director just felt very "under the table," as I'm sure it was. We doubt very seriously that that money will ever be used in ways to help the children. It feels dirty.

However, I'm sure Jesus felt dirty, too, as he went all the way to the cross to pay for our sins in order to bring us home. It was what had to be done at the time in order to bring salvation and new life and a promise of a new home in Heaven. So, again, if Jesus did what He did, we can do what we have to do here. We're just thankful that we have been so blessed that we have the money to give and that we are on the giving end and not on the receiving end. We have no guilt on our hands - we simply give this woman to God and pray that He will work on her heart and make choices to benefit the children and not herself.

We're just ready to be done with all of it and be on our way home with the girls. PLEASE pray about our day tomorrow, that God would bless it by allowing everything to go smoothly so we will have the girls with us by tomorrow evening. We love and thank all of you for your prayerful support. May God provide.

Love,
Dawn and Mark