No Voice

Mark and I find ourselves more and more frustrated by the "no voice" syndrome we are stuck in here. We are surrounded by people who converse with each other freely, yet we don't understand and can't reply on any sort of intelligent level. The housemoms and kids at the TLC have been kind and gracious, yet we aren't able to carry on much of a relationship beyond the surface. We would love to ask them more questions and share more of our thoughts, but it is not to be. The teachers and kids at the orphanage are the same way. We enjoy the interaction, but at most, it is very shallow. There are few English speakers anywhere. The only English speakers that we've had much of a conversation with are Tanya and her husband, Valari. Therefore, it was a wonderful treat that they invited us to their home last night to have dinner.

Val walked to the orphanage and met us at the front gate at about 5:30. We walked a few blocks to their apartment building. We took a small elevator to the 11th floor. There are three small apartments in their hallway. You go through heavy metal doors on concrete floors and come to the door to their apartment. Inside was small - really just 2 rooms, plus a kitchen and a bathroom, but very comfortable and nice. They have a view from the small balcony off their living room that looks over all of Mariupol and the sea. We enjoyed our dinner and our visit with them immensely. Valari is also an English teacher and speaks English quite well, as does Tanya. Their family lived in the U.S. for about 2 years as Tanya was pursuing additional education there. They have been back in Ukraine for the last 5 years and Tanya has been the director at the TLC for that entire time. Valari gives private English lessons, mostly to college students, in their home. It was such a blessing for us to be in their home and to carry on intelligent conversation with educated people! Wow! We didn't realize how much we had missed that. We are so grateful that they invited us.

Another "no voice" situation is occuring at the orphanage. There is a boy there who is probably 2 or maybe even 3 years older than Zhanna and Ella and has been with them the last couple of days we've been there. His name is Svet. Svet seems like a nice enough kid, but teases and plays around with Zhanna and Ella and then tickles them, and the girls laugh and giggle and pull away. Mark and I are having the hardest time handling this! It seems to cross the line of appropriate behavior with us, but we don't have a voice to say so at this point. Mark said today, "I'm 8 days their dad. If I were 10 days their dad I think I'd slap that boy and tell him to keep his hands off my girls!" The only thing we can do is try to divert the conversation and help them all change their focus to another direction. Today worked pretty well. I brought an American magazine I bought on the trip at the airport. We took a blanket outside and sat in the shade, and I looked at the pictures of clothes and food with the girls. We talked about the words in Russian and English. Svet went to go pick cherries from the old trees on the far side of the orphanage. That was fine until Ella got bored looking at the pictures and ran off to help Svet. When they got back we all visited for awhile, and then they wanted to get up and walk. The tickling started, so Mark and I tried to ask questions, etc. Finally, Ella asked if Mark could go get ice cream. She wanted to go, too! So, we pulled a sneaky and Ella walked to the store with Mark (they're not allowed to leave the grounds of the orphanage without permission)! I stayed behind with Zhanna and Svet and we sat in the shade and visited. That worked out okay, and we all enjoyed the ice cream treats when Mark and Ella got back. I think Ella felt empowered to be able to get out like that, and Mark felt good to be finally walking, as a parent would, with his child. But. . .when we left, Svet was still there with our girls! Aug-gh-gh-gh! Just a few more days, just a few more days!

The girls are obviously still torn about leaving the orphanage. They say they will miss it and all their friends. Many of the kids are leaving for camp on Friday, so we are planning a good-bye party for Thursday afternoon. We will buy juice and cookies and fruit and chips so they can all celebrate and say their good-byes. Our court hearing is Friday to finalize the adoption, but we're not sure yet if it will be morning or afternoon. We hope it will be in the morning so we can drive out once again to the village where the girls were born to obtain the new birth certificates. If we don't have the court hearing until Friday afternoon we'll have to wait until Monday to go to the village. Again, no choice, no voice.

We need prayers for all of this. We trust in God's perfect and impeccable timing, but it is so hard to face additional delays. We want to snatch the girls out of the orphanage environment TODAY and fly home tomorrow. However, we must wait until the proper procedures have been taken care of. After the birth certificates are obtained, then we must go to Donetsk to get the new passports. Only then can we travel back to Kiev. While we're there the girls must have medical tests at a hospital, then we go to the Ukrainian Embassy and then the American Embassy for visas. It will take a few days for all of that. So it looks like a week and half to two weeks more before we'll be flying home. We'll let you know as soon as we find out.

In this "no voice" situation, we find that we are learning about total submission. We are totally dependent on other people for everything. We must wait on the timing and on the paperwork and on the officials and on the beauraucracy. We can't communicate or understand or ask questions. But really we are totally dependent on God. We must only trust. We trust in the Lord and lean on Him and not on our own understanding. We commit our plans to Him and know we will succeed because of His great and perfect love for us and for Zhanna and Ella.

May God's wonderful treasures be revealed to you each and every day. It is not easy for us, as humans, to trust Him enough to put our lives totally in His care. But that's what Zhanna and Ella are doing in agreeing to be adopted and letting us take them to America. They've put their trust in us. Treasures and new life await them. God has treasures and new life waiting for us, too. I'll share more thoughts about that tomorrow.

Until then, Go with God. He is so good, all the time.
Love,
Dawn and Mark