Adjustments and Settling in

We've been home a week now. What a whirlwind of a week it has been - for all of us! Zhanna and Ella love their new big brother and sister, Nathan and Annie. They want to do almost everything with them. The girls vacilate from being happy and excited about their new life and all the new aspects of it, to being timid and afraid of new experiences. In many ways it is like having two 4-year-olds in slightly larger bodies running around trying everything out in our home. We almost crashed the computer a few days ago. Day before yesterday a CD was pushed into the stereo without being properly aligned and it got stuck. Mark had to take the stereo apart to get it out, but thankfully, the CD and the stereo were both fine. My jewelry box has been raided, and I've had to be very clear about learning to ask before you just help yourself.

We are happy the girls are feeling comfortable and are making themselves at home, but we have to teach them to respect other people's belongings and personal space. I'm not sure they have ever learned that before. Their early life certainly didn't give them any lessons in respectful personal space, and their life at the orphanage was all about "share and share alike." Another new lesson is learning how to approach life in a calm and peaceful way. At the orphanage the pace was either abruptly frantic or incredibly dull. Meals were eaten as quickly as possible and then it was on to other things. There was no such thing as sitting and visiting and socializing. It was run, run, run, or numb your mind by horribly boring and often inappropriate TV.

Since they've been here, they have been watching and enjoying some of the classic Disney videos. They especially like "The Little Mermaid," and "Beauty and the Beast." Mark has a bicycle and Ella got on it right away and began to ride. She has long enough legs that the boys' style bicycle is not a problem for her. Zhanna, however, is having a harder time. She apparently, never learned how to ride on the one old bicycle they all shared at the orphanage. Her legs are also shorter than Ella's, so she simply couldn't manuever the large bicycle. However, someone from church gave us a smaller girls' bicycle for her to learn on and she's catching on quickly, with just a little help. It won't be long before she's as proficient as Ella. We plan to get them both their own bikes sometime in the near future.

Food has been another issue. They were both eating a lot while we were in Kiev, but food here has not been the same. They both like eggs, so for a couple of days they were living on scrambled eggs and toast. We went to the grocery store and tried to get foods they would like, but when we try them at home they say they don't like them. Often, Ella will just look at something I have prepared and say "I no like." It's been a challenge to get her, especially, to try new things. Zhanna is more adventurous in being willing to taste new foods. I made lasagna the other night and neither of the girls thought they would like it, but after they tried it they ate it well. Last night I made a complete Ukrainian meal with verenyky dumplings and fried potatoes and onions, and cabbage and cucumber slaw and sliced tomatoes. They ate and ate and ate! Ella said, "Ukrainian food luchay (better)!" They asked if we could have Ukrainian food all the time. I said not all the time, but hopefully often.

If Zhanna is more willing than Ella to try new foods, she is not as willing to try new activities. I think she's at the age where she is so concerned about what others will think of her, that she is hesitant in all these new experiences. We went to play Putt-Putt last night. It was a beautiful evening and we planned to just make it a fun outing - not competitive at all. We all demonstrated how to putt the ball into the hole, and not very well, at that. But when it was Zhanna's turn she almost had a melt-down. She said, "I don't can!" Then she blasted the ball so hard it came right back at her. We all just tried to be calmly encouraging and went right ahead with the game. On the second hole she settled down and saw that none of us are golf pros, either, so she began to be able to laugh at herself, just as we were all laughing at ourselves. By the end she enjoyed it so much she wanted to play another game, but we talked her into going to the game room instead. The kids won enough tickets for Zhanna and Ella to buy some sour candy and a little toy each. It was a successful night.

The girls have begun opening up and sharing information about their past with us. They've told us a lot of things about their birth family and about life at the orphanage. Some of the information they've shared about their early life is heart wrenching. I can't stand the thought of my babies having had to go through all of that. But I'm so proud of their courage and continued desire to rise above their circumstances. I think they are trusting us enough to share all this with us now. We keep reassuring them that we love them, we will never leave them, we will always help them and take care of them and provide for them. I've even been telling them made-up bedtime stories each night about princesses and mermaids and even monkeys (last night) by the names of Zhanna and Ella who have gone through hardships and danger, but the King and Queen or the Mama and Papa monkeys are there to take care of them and love them. They seem to love these stories and ask for a new one every night.

We are beginning to work on English lessons now. Our good friend and teacher, Mary, has volunteered to work with the girls all summer and when school starts to help them learn to read and understand English. She brought workbooks this morning and scrabble letter tiles and other fun things. She's left some homework for the girls to be working on, but she says they are already well on their way. We are so grateful for her help.

Right now our days are centered on the girls and their needs. It takes 4 American adults (Mark and I and Nathan and Annie) to cater to the every whim of 2 Ukrainian girls. That must all change as we begin to integrate them more and more into the family and add responsibilites and expectations. It is a challenging transition. But God's efforts in transforming us to His expectations is challenging to Him, too. He is so patient with us. We can be patient with the girls as they learn and change and grow. We love them so much.

Till next time,
Dawn and Mark